10 YearsJØðJÛ]ÒJÛ]ÒBOOKMOBIµ§†-†=†M†]†m†}†††­†½†Í†Ý†í†ý† ††-†=†M†]†m†}†††­†½†݆͆í†ý† ††-†=†M†]†m†}†††­†½†݆͆í†ý† ††-†=†M†]†m†}†††­†½†݆͆í†ý† ††-†=†M†]†m†}†††­†½†݆͆í†ý† ††-†=†M†]†m†}†††­†½†݆͆í†ý† ††-†=†M†]†m†}†††­†½†݆͆í†ý† ††-†=†M†]†m†}†††­†½†݆͆í†ý† ††-†=†M†]†m†}†††­†½†݆͆í†ý† † † -† =† M† ]† m† }† † † ­† ½† ͆ ݆ í† ý† † † -† =† M† ]† m† }† i7¦MOBIýéõVu 10 Years

10 Years

by Benjamin Huot

10 Years Benjamin Huot Title Page

10 Years

Ben Huot

October 14, 2009

Table of Contents 2 Chapter 1 11 Introduction 11 1.1 Why Give Them Away? 12 1.2 Why so Negative on Science and Europe? 12 1.3 Purpose of Books 12 1.4 The Books 13 Chapter 2 15 Disabled Veteran 15 2.1 First Things 16 2.1.1 Logo 16 2.1.2 Other Books 16 2.1.3 For More Information 16 2.1.4 Cover Graphic 16 2.1.5 License 16 2.1.6 Introduction 17 2.2 Becoming a Soldier 17 2.2.1 Non Exclusive Patriotism 17 2.2.2 Letters from Basic Training 18 Terms Defined 18 11 Jul 96 20 20 Jul 96 21 28 Jul 96 22 11 Aug 96 23 19 Aug 96 24 25 Aug 96 25 1 Sep 96 26 2.2.3 Military Poetry 27 Memories of a Soldier 27 The Dark 27 Fear and Excitement 28 Churches Numerous 29 Safe and Sound 30 The Recruiter 30 Basic Training 31 Advanced Training 33 Permanent Duty Station 34 Duality Poetry 35 A Man, Nothing More 35 Like a Peasant 36 Like a Soldier 37 Life’s Parallels 38 Other Poetry 38 Commitment and Freedom 38 Desert Mist 39 Reflections on Soldiering 40 Total Isolation 42 2.2.4 Considering Military Service? 43 Good Points 43 Bad Points 43 Recommend 43 Specifics 44 2.3 Transition 44 2.3.1 College 44 Going Home 44 Community College 45 Community College 2 46 University 46 University 2 47 2.3.2 Journey 48 Generations 48 Clarity in Conviction, an Epic Poem 49 Spirits Follow 51 After All These Years 52 The Forest 53 2.4 Having Schizophrenia 54 2.4.1 Introduction 54 2.4.2 Breakdown 55 Jesus Won Paranoid Episode 55 Poetry 56 My Breakdown 56 Descent into Madness 56 Schizophrenia 57 Total Isolation 59 Group Home 60 2.4.3 Limitations 61 Articles 61 What is it like? 61 Thought Control 61 Daily Activities 61 Responses 61 Schizophrenia 61 Why Cows? 62 Discrimination of the Mentally Ill 62 Personal Discrimination 62 Son of Strength 62 Poetry 63 Frustration 63 Naked Mind 64 2.4.4 Religion 64 Frustration 64 FAQs 65 Is there an effective treatment of Schizophrenia without medication? 65 Why is religion rejected by psychologists in their treating mental illness? 66 Can an atheist apply ideas from religion into their treatment? 66 2.4.5 Counseling 66 The Appointment, an Epic Poem 66 Waiting 66 Preparation 67 Hot and Cold 68 Black and White 69 Other Poetry 70 Taming the Mind 70 Heaven and Earth 71 My Experiences with the Mental Health Establishment 71 Not a Good Day 71 Typical Conversation 72 Resolution 72 Chapter 3 73 Art and Ecology 73 3.1 First Things 74 3.1.1 Logo 74 3.1.2 Other Books 74 3.1.3 For More Information 74 3.1.4 Cover Graphic 74 3.1.5 License 74 3.1.6 Introduction 75 3.2 Art Poetry 75 3.2.1 Mystical Poetry 75 Poetry is Beyond Philosophy 75 When You are Ready 77 Art of Interpretation 78 3.2.2 Musical Journey 79 Value of Music 79 Inspiration 79 Vigor and Completion 80 3.2.3 Music of Heaven 81 Tones of Creation 81 Law of Music 82 Nature’s Symphony 82 Plush Music 83 3.2.4 The Value of Hope 84 Metaphor of Christ’s Return 84 Sketch of Heaven 84 3.2.5 Complexity Poetry 86 Sources 86 Creativity 86 Organization 87 3.2.6 Cultural Patterns 88 Enlightened Literature 88 Art Museum 89 3.2.7 White Curriculum 90 White Pagan Role Models 90 White Stories 91 3.2.8 Computers 92 Painter 92 LaTeX 92 Print on Demand 93 Social Networking 94 3.2.9 Other Poetry 95 My Creative Process 95 Aesthetics and Ethics 96 That Kind of Woman 96 Becoming an Artist 97 Completion 97 Fine Art 98 American Literature 99 Colors 100 3.3 Articles about Art 100 3.3.1 Art Movements 100 Diversity, Freedom, and Confidence 100 Gothic Art 101 The Purpose of Gothic Art 102 3.3.2 Practical Art 102 Finding a Hobby 102 Introduction 102 Cross Stitch 103 Sculptey 103 Stickers, Lamination and Magnets 103 Terra Cotta Pots 103 Galleries Frequently Asked Questions 103 Why Cows? 103 How did you learn to use the computer? 103 What do you mean by Still Life? 103 How did you learn to draw? 103 Why are there no photos of exotic locations? 104 Why Trees? 104 3.4 Ecological Prose 104 3.4.1 Unified Social Theory of Natural Science 104 3.4.2 The Theoretical and Everyday Life 104 3.4.3 Animal Rights 105 3.4.4 Based on Outlines of Unfinished Tolkien Stories 105 Clay Vessels 105 Strange Gift 106 The People of Stone and Leaf 107 3.4.5 Philosophy of Fun 107 Less money but more fun 107 Save on public transportation 108 Find joy in producing, rather than consuming 108 Do things for others rather than yourself 108 Be spontaneous and absurd 108 Motion = Stillness 108 No Expectations 108 Holding onto the Moment 108 Understand the Ecology 108 3.5 Ecological Poetry 109 3.5.1 Nature Appreciation Poetry 109 Help Farm Animals 109 The Land is a Gift 110 Loving Pets 110 3.5.2 Animal Liberation 111 Animal not Plant 111 Jesus and Animals 112 Master of Humans 114 3.5.3 Animal Epic Poem 115 Ecclesiastes 3:19 115 Jeremiah 9:10 115 Daniel 1:8 115 Matthew 25:40-43 115 Hebrews 2:10-11 116 3.5.4 Plush Moments Poetry 116 Plush Valentine 116 New Calf 117 Today an Ox 117 3.5.5 Ralph Nader 118 Vision 118 Occupational Safety and Health Administration 119 Consumer Product Safety Commission 120 Freedom of Information Act 120 Environmental Protection Agency 121 Safe Drinking Water Act 122 3.5.6 Furry Friends Poetry 123 Zen Dog 123 Fat Cat 124 Little Chipmunk 124 3.5.7 Other Poetry 125 Destructive Toys 125 Global Crises 126 Chapter 4 128 Theoretical Breakthroughs 128 4.1 First Things 129 4.1.1 Logo 129 4.1.2 Other Books 129 4.1.3 For More Information 129 4.1.4 Cover Graphic 129 4.1.5 License 129 4.1.6 A Unique Approach 130 4.2 Intellectual Breakthroughs 131 4.2.1 Philosophical Positions 131 Hermeneutic (Method of Interpretation) 131 Practice and Bible Derived Reasoning 131 Contrasting Theories of Education 131 Unified Social Theory of Natural Science 132 4.2.2 College Education 132 Conservative Curriculum 132 Liberal Arts 133 College Football 134 Lost Opportunities 135 4.2.3 Philosophy of Religion 136 Theology includes Philosophy 136 Honesty 137 Freedom of Choice 138 4.2.4 Striking Back 139 What is Rational? 139 Where Blame is Due 141 God and Country 142 Medieval Morality 143 A Matter of Faith 144 Circular Argument 146 Only One Answer 146 4.3 Social Breakthroughs 148 4.3.1 Religion 148 Philosophy of Life and Death 148 Future World Religion Trends 148 The Case for Liberal Christianity 149 4.3.2 Innocence Lost 150 Technology 150 Human Relationships 150 4.3.3 The Public Mind and American Democracy 151 4.3.4 The Protestant Ethic 151 Hard Work 152 American Philosophy 152 Faith and Work 153 Bad Monk 154 Religion of Isolation 154 Worldly 155 Who Can Help Themselves 156 4.3.5 Capitalism and Atheism 157 Un American 157 Democracy vs. Capitalism 157 Freedom and Terror 158 More than Bread 159 Conscience 161 Logic and Religion 162 On Marx and Engels 163 Marxism is Defeated 165 4.3.6 What If? 166 Buddhists Missionaries 166 European Backwaters 168 Christian World 168 Contemporary Jesus 169 Toy Society 171 Farm Society 172 4.4 Emotional Breakthroughs 173 4.4.1 Son of Strength 173 4.4.2 Heaven and Earth 174 4.4.3 The Breakthrough 175 History 175 Background 175 Questions 176 The Letter 176 More Thoughts 177 In Verse 177 4.5 Nature of God 177 4.5.1 Jesus Poetry 178 The One 178 The Majestic Down to Earth 178 Jesus 179 4.5.2 Self Poetry 180 With one material, many souls 180 Directions 181 Holy Spirit 181 4.5.3 Heavenly Father Poetry 182 The Perfect Programmer 182 Praise and Criticism 183 Praise God for Everything 184 Awesome God 185 Family Appreciation 185 Tolerance 186 God, Help! 187 Walking Forward 188 Morning Sunshine 189 4.5.4 Son of God Poetry 190 The Missionaries 190 God Speaks 190 Religion Means Education 191 Campus Community 192 Open Market 192 Epic Hero 193 Ancestor 194 Center of Gravity 195 Crossroads 195 Chapter 5 197 Red Leter Book 197 5.1 First Things 198 5.1.1 Logo 198 5.1.2 Other Books 198 5.1.3 For More Information 198 5.1.4 Cover Graphic 198 5.1.5 Credits 198 5.1.6 License 199 5.2 Key Verses from The Free Thinking Christian Series 199 5.2.1 Who is God? 199 5.2.2 On Faith 199 5.2.3 Sin 200 5.2.4 Salvation 200 5.2.5 Heaven and Assurance of Salvation 200 5.2.6 Friendship 200 5.2.7 Faith is a choice a person makes. 200 5.2.8 Faith in God is real because we can trust God’s word as He never lies. 201 5.2.9 Guiding Principle 201 5.2.10 Striving to be both kind in my methods and serious in my beliefs at the same time. 201 5.2.11 My target audience 201 5.2.12 Faith and Fear 201 5.2.13 Ministries Inspiration 202 5.2.14 Anti-Western Philosophy 202 5.2.15 Study Revealed Religions 202 5.2.16 Don’t study Occult or Earth Religions 203 5.2.17 Why Paradox? 203 5.2.18 On Limitations 203 5.2.19 On Strength 203 5.2.20 The Path of Mary Magdalene 203 5.3 Mental Illness in Psalms from NIV 204 5.3.1 Asking God for Help 204 5.3.2 It’s all right to criticize God. 205 5.3.3 God will Answer You 205 5.3.4 God will Counsel You 206 5.3.5 There is Hope 207 5.4 Money 207 5.4.1 Amos 207 5.4.2 Matthew 208 5.4.3 1 Corinthians 208 5.4.4 1 Timothy 208 5.4.5 James 208 5.4.6 Revelations 208 5.5 Providence 209 5.5.1 Genesis 209 5.5.2 Psalms 209 5.5.3 Luke 209 5.5.4 2 Corinthians 209 5.5.5 Galatians 210 5.6 Liberation from Sins 210 5.6.1 Psalms 210 1 210 2 210 3 211 4 211 5.6.2 Isaiah 211 1 211 2 211 3 211 5.6.3 Jeremiah 212 5.6.4 Matthew 212 5.6.5 Ephesians 212 5.6.6 Hebrews 212 5.6.7 James 212 5.6.8 I John 213 1 213 2 213 5.7 Comfort for the Afflicted 213 5.7.1 Isaiah 213 5.7.2 After Isaiah 216 5.8 Greed is Bad 217 5.8.1 The Prophets on Greed 217 5.8.2 New Testament on Greed 220 5.9 Affections 223 5.9.1 From Psalms 223 5.9.2 Other Verses 226 5.10 Blessings from the Bible 227 5.10.1 Spiritual Blessings 227 Old Testament 227 New Testament 228 5.10.2 Temporal Blessings 230 Genesis 230 Deuteronomy 231 Job 234 Other Old Testament 236 5.11 Faith and Confidence 237 5.11.1 Gospels 237 5.11.2 Acts 239 5.11.3 Romans 240 5.11.4 Other Letters 241 5.12 Human Nature 242 5.13 Children’s Instruction 247 5.13.1 Deuteronomy 247 5.13.2 Others 249 Chapter 1

Introduction

by Ben Huot

1.1 Why Give Them Away?

I am not making any profit off my books, because I am a disabled veteran and if I did, I would jeopardize my pension. Another reason is that I think too many things in life cost too much money. Where most people who want a free culture express these views by stealing music and movies, because they think they cost too much money, I have taken a proactive approach and have instead released my books for free.

The greatest things in life are free and the greatest works have no copyright. If I want my work to last, the best way to do it is to not sell my copyright and license it for free distribution. Like most good writers and revolutionary thinkers, I will likely be thought of as more important after I die. As it is, the only writers who make much off their books are people who are already famous.

1.2 Why so Negative on Science and Europe?

When we talk about Science, it would be hard for most people to agree what they were talking about. When I refer to Science, I mean the Enlightenment philosophy that arose in the last 500 years in Europe and America. When I refer to Science, it is usually capitalized, and refers to the Scientific Worldview.

This worldview as I see it is composed of Atheism, Materialism, and Systematic Thought drawn from Rousseau, Descartes, and Maimonides (most people falsely give Thomas Aquinas credit). The big idea uniting these 3 principles is arrogance and man controlling the world.

I see Science as a discovery process and as a worldview as intertwined, because if you tell most Scientists that you think Science is valid, they jump to thinking you believe in Evolution. Contemporary movements in Science such as Superstring Theories, Dark Matter and Dark Energy, Global Warming (Global Catastrophe), Genetics, and advances in Ecology theory are taking Science beyond the 3 principles in the Scientific Worldview. The problem is that most people think in terms of 17th to 19th century Science.

I have a sister who teaches Science and I respect both what she is doing and the level of professionalism and her deep understanding of the vast knowledge base required to be a professional in Science. I think that if more people understood what Science is really about by learning from my sister and Scientists like her, we wouldn’t have most of the problems in Science that we have now.

There are a number of Enlightenment philosphers I agree with or at least parially agree with. Berkeley is one of my favorite philosophers, Spinoza inspired some important aspects of my philosophy, John Locke’s Letter Concerning Toleration was one of the most important works written and I totally agree with it accept I don’t think we should limit toleration to religious beliefs, and Hume had some interesting ideas that could be useful for someone very creative. I also enjoy reading about physics and astronomy and I make heavy use of the Internet and anti-psychotics which all came out of Science.

When I am referering to the autrocities that Europe has committed, I am referring to the top leadership of the government. I am referring to the dozen or so worldwide “rich white men,” who control most of what goes on in the world. And I have also been very critical of rich politically conservative Christians in my writing as well.

I had thought I had been clear about this and this was obvious from what I have written, but I have recently found out that this needed to be clarified. Unfortunately this wasn’t communicated to me in the right way, before I had completed 16 of the books. I only wished intellectuals who are negative on Christianity would be willing to say that it is not the Bible they are against but the way Christians act.

It is common amongst intellectuals to group all born-again Christians together. It is common for intellectuals to blame current problems in history on what the Bible says, when if they were to actually read it, they would find that the Bible speaks against much of what they feel has been done wrong in the name of Christianity.

1.3 Purpose of Books

It is common thinking amongst Evangelical Christians in postmodern times that the end of times is near, but it was near at the time of the New Testament. But I believe that the problems in the world have nothing to do with signaling the tribulation and the reason why we have survived this far is because of God’s direct divine intervention.

Many people are trying to prepare for the world to end, but what if it lasted for thousand of years into the future, by God’s grace of course? Who is planning for that? We have no idea what the end of times will be like or how to prepare, but we can guess as to how to prepare for humanity lasting thousands more years. And the answers lie in our past and in the Bible, but not in how we were taught.

Like people who were born over 50 years ago and thought they wouldn’t live this long and are now in bad health but still alive or like the troops in Iraqi Freedom who have been kept alive and greatly disabled when in other wars they would have simply died, our civilization will likely last into the future in some form or another even if we come close to destroying ourselves, but we instead will be severely impaired environmentally, technologically, economically, politically, and socially.

My text books and picture books contain most of my work over the past 10 years. These include my reading of some 235 books containing the philosophical and religious thinking of the worldÕs cultures for several thousand years and the application of the main themes of some of the major Old Testament Prophets and major works of the New Testament.

The main point of this work is to get people to stop living their lives with their minds, but instead follow their hearts. I bring a radically different combination of viewpoints that you have not heard of before. I am not asking people to follow what I have written, but rather let the words stir up some sort of emotional response in your heart.

I challenge my readers to come up with their own unique ideas and that can lead the world in a new direction. We need a much broader diversity of ideas in our culture to deal with the problems we are facing in America and throughout the rest of the world.

1.4 The Books

These 4 books are my systematic works, drawing from my 8 poetically arranged academic books and formed into topical categories. My autobiography and Art and Ecology works are the first books to read, because I base my ideas on experiences and my work as a creative person. If you have had total experiences like me and are creative, you might be interested in my writings. My theories book is a collection of the most revolutionary theories I have discovered when writing the 8 academic books. The book of Bible quotes shows what the Bible really says and comes from my Scripture quotes throughout the 8 academic books.

Disabled Veteran is my autobiography, detailing my experiences in the Army and as a person with Schizophrenia.

Just as a dew drop on the tip of a blade of grass will quickly vanish at sunrise and will not last long; even so, brahmins, is human life a dew drop. It is short, limited, and brief; it is full of suffering, full of tribulation. This one should wisely understand. One should do good and live a pure life; for none who is born can escape death.

1

Anguttara Nikaya 7:70

Art and Ecology is about the major themes of my academic books: literature, music, art and animals and nature.

Just as, when rain falls from the sky in thick drops, a bubble appearing on the water will quickly vanish and will not last long; even so, brahmins, is human life like a water bubble. It is short, limited, and brief; it is full of suffering, full of tribulation. This one should wisely understand. One should do good and live a pure life; for none who is born can escape death.

2

Anguttara Nikaya 7:70

Theoretical Breakthroughs contains the major theories I developed in the 8 academic books.

Then Job answered the Lord, and said, I know that thou canst do every thing, and that no thought can be withholden from thee. Who is he that hideth counsel without knowledge? therefore have I uttered that I understood not; things too wonderful for me, which I knew not. Hear, I beseech thee, and I will speak: I will demand of thee, and declare thou unto me. I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye seeth thee. Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes.

3

Job 42:1-6

The Red Letter Book contains Bible quotes from my 8 academic books.

It is, brahmin, because of attachment to sensual pleasures, adherence to sensual pleasures, fixation on sensual pleasures, addiction to sensual pleasures, obsession with sensual pleasures, holding firmly to sensual pleasures that khattiyas fight with khattiyas, brahmins with brahmins, and householders with householders.’ ... ’It is brahmin, because of attachment to views, adherence to views, fixation on views, addiction to views, obsession with views, holding firmly to views that ascetics fight with ascetics.

4

Anguttara Nikaya

Chapter 2

Disabled Veteran

by Ben Huot

2.1 First Things 2.1.1 Logo

I should explain what the logo is meant to be representing. The guy is a pen, which is me, which comes from my first poem in Philosophy Core, called Creative Process, where I refer to myself as doing Tai Chi, with my pen being my body. The idea is based on “the pen is mightier than the sword” so I created “the Bible is mightier than the pen”.

The Bible is shooting out flames because in Ephesians it talks about spiritual warfare and the Bible is the only armament that is offensive. (It means offensive instead of defensive. These are common terms used in combat. The sword is the only spiritual weapon. All the other armaments expressed in Ephesians are protective and defensive in nature like a shield, a helmet, a breastplate, etc.) The flames are meant as in James when it talks about being purified by fire or struggles with temptation in our lives. Isaiah also was purified by a live coal to his lips by a Seraphim. So the usage of fire is not evil or anything violent. Think of it as purifying.

I would ideally like it to show the sword turned inward to his chest, symbolizing like in many fantasy books that when they defeat the great evil force in the world, they are left with the greatest task, which is to defeat the evil within. The Bible is said to be a 2 sided sword, with the ability to cut between bone and marrow, and show the truth. Christ’s tongue is said to be a 2 edged sword in Revelations, to defeat the Devil with. The reason I didn’t show this is it looks like he is committing suicide.

The spiritual warfare is not against people, ideas, or even spirits. It is about fighting for the purity of our own minds. It is an internal thing. Like the Native American proverb “my greatest enemy is myself.” This purity is in regard to our own sins and does not refer to purity in any other sense. But this is a process, not an outcome, as it is not possible for us to live without sin.

This warfare is only spiritual in the sense that it is not militant, social, economic, or political. This is for my own moral and ethical development and consists of practical qualities I try, with Christ’s help, to cultivate like humility, compassion, kindness, and seriousness and do not correspond to anything supernatural.

2.1.2 Other Books

My text books and picture books contain most of my work over the past 10 years. These include my reading of some 235 books containing the philosophical and religious thinking of the worldÕs cultures for several thousand years and the application of the main themes of some of the major Old Testament Prophets and major works of the New Testament.

The main point of this work is to get people to stopping living their lives with their minds, but instead follow their hearts. I bring a radically different combination of viewpoints that you have not heard of before. I am not asking people to follow what I have written, but rather let the words stir up some sort of emotional response in your heart.

I challenge my readers to come up with their own unique ideas and that can lead the world in a new direction. We need a much broader diversity of ideas in our culture to deal with the problems we are facing in America and throughout the rest of the world.

2.1.3 For More Information

For more books and information, visit me on the web at http://benjamin-newton.com/

Feel free to send me e-mail regarding the books and website at mailto:ben@benjamin-newton.com I even enjoy constructive criticism

2.1.4 Cover Graphic

2.1.5 License

This entire PDF is licensed together under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License as a whole, and nothing is to be separated, added on to, or modified in any manner.

Clarification on what no derivatives means:

No changes may be made in any way including but not limited to:

the material content and design must be copied as a whole (everything contained in this pdf file)

1. with nothing added

2. without anything taken away

must be kept in its original form with no additions or subtractions to

1. file formats

2. HTML and CSS code

3. PDF files

4. graphics and movies

5. sounds, music, and spoken word

6. interactivity and flash

7. file and directory structure

8. filenames and directory names

9. links

10. distribution method

2.1.6 Introduction

Did you ever wonder what the military is like? Don’t believe your recruiter - check out my actual experiences. Did you ever wonder what it would be like to be mentally ill?   You won’t learn this in psychology. Do you have someone you care about who was in the military or who has a mental illness?

This book is my autobiography, describing my experiences in the Army and as a person with Schizophrenia. I have drawn these articles and poems from 8 of my others books. I have also added all new material from the recently discovered letters I wrote home during Basic Training plus a comprehensive set of vocabulary definitions describing almost anything I refer to in the letters.

This book is designed for those not interested in or those who would have a hard time understanding my academic books or the political or religious ideas they contain.

2.2 Becoming a Soldier 2.2.1 Non Exclusive Patriotism

I voluntarily served my country and am permanently disabled because of my service. This is why I am receiving funds from the Veterans Administration. I am a disabled veteran. I served my country, because it is a beautiful country and it is my country.

Many people see America as being on offshoot of England and based on the Enlightenment and that our closest allies are England and France. They see American history and culture as that of rich white men, as taught in history books and the mass media, that is accepted by the mainstream of opinion leaders. The mass media, called popular culture, is all over the world and is developed by a couple of rich white men, who don’t even pay taxes in the United States. These multinational corporations have nothing to do with America.

I see America as reflected, by the people who live here, currently and I see America as an immigrant nation, except for the Native Americans. The only thing that is exclusively American is Native American culture. When I study about the culture of historic and ancient Asia, this is as American as studying about the the American Revolution, the American Civil War, or World War II. I think that people, who got into America legally, from any other nation and follow the laws are just as much American as people who came over on the Mayflower who follow the laws. Not just those who sell out their culture for popular culture, but keeping their customs, from the countries they came from are just as American.

The really unique thing about America as I have, come to realize, after my service in the military is that we have a goal of toleration for people of different backgrounds and especially of other religions. That is one of the major things I seek to further, in my writings and artwork. This is often referred to as multiculturalism. I don’t see why we need to put up artificial boundaries between us and other countries around the world. We can be seen as doing the right thing, as well as they can be, even if we order our society in different ways, or that they may appear farther ahead than us in some areas doesn’t make us less of a nation. We don’t need to think of ourselves, as the best nation on earth. We are one, among a number of great nations, and we don’t need to be culturally exclusive to prove it.

2.2.2 Letters from Basic Training Terms Defined

Air Assault: school where you learn to repel out of helicopters as a way of delivering soldiers into combat. It is like Airborne but with helicopters instead of airplanes.

AIT - Advanced Individual Training. This is the training in your job you signed up for when you joined the Army. You often go to another base right after graduating Basic Training and the training can be anytime from 4 weeks to a year, depending on the job. You get more and more freedom as time passes and you pass tests successfully. Drill Sergeants are here as well.

Article 15: You can get an Article 15 for almost anything from having food in your locker, smoking, or violating almost any minor rule. You can get them for just not doing something correctly too many times. The punishment is that you are fined about $150 out of your $600 for the whole month and you have to do 2 hours extra duty every day for 2 weeks. Meaning, you will only get a maximum of 5 hours sleep a night.

Basic Training: This is the initial training in the Army which trains you to be an infantry soldier. Every soldier must complete this training first, as we are considered first and foremost infantry soldiers and the Army wants the option of using any soldier in the infantry, if they feel they need to. There are 3 things you need to do to graduate: go through the gas chamber (unless you are on KP that day), qualify at BRM, and throw a live grenade. Basic Training is almost exactly 8 weeks long.

Battle Buddy: another soldier in training you are assigned to to work with for the entire training. It can also refer to any one in your platoon.

Bivouac: Army version of camping

Bolo: when you don’t qualify at the BRM qualifications the first time.

BRM - Basic Rifle Marksmanship. You learn to shoot your M-16, also referred to as rifle or weapon, but never as a gun. The point of the rifle is to be very accurate a kill someone with just one bullet. This rifle didn’t even have fully automatic mode with the model we were using. This training lasts about 2 weeks. You qualify at the end by shooting enough targets that are silhouettes of other soldiers and they are up for only 3 seconds and they pop up and down at one of 3 different lengths away - one is at 50 meters, one is at 200 meters, and the other one is at 300 meters. You have to shoot in a foxhole and laying on your stomach (in the prone)

Cadence: singing while marching, The songs follow at the same time as you move your feet.

Chow Hall: where you eat

Claymore Mine: This is a directional mine that shoots out shrapnel when activated. It has to be unpacked and set up. You test it first, to make sure it is not defective. It is used to protect foxholes from attack. The shrapnel should all go forward towards the enemy if you point it in the correct direction.

CO - Commanding Officer: this is generally the officer (a Captain in rank) at the head of your company. He or she signs off on most paperwork as is the one ultimately responsible for anything anyone does in their unit.

Counseling Session: If you are not doing something correctly, then the Drill Sergeant gives you a counseling session which can be deducted from your sleep time. They tell you what you did wrong and often give you extra time to practice it which is taken out of sleep or free time. You can get these for not shining your boots properly, not ironing your clothes properly, or not marching properly. If you get more than a few of these, you get an Article 15.

Cycle: this refers to the particular interval in which you have completed Basic Training.

Drill Cadet: a cadet is an officer in training, but these ones were called Drill Cadets because they were working with the Drill Sergeants

DS - Drill Sergeant. The basic unit during Basic Training is the platoon and it is headed by 2 to 3 Staff Sergeant or Sergeant First Classes in rank and will be a mixed combination of races and genders. They are each a Non-Commissioned Officer which you have to follow every command they give. You finish every thing you say to a Drill Sergeant with Drill Sergeant. If you don’t, then you are “dropped” and required to do 20 push-ups and this number increases as you progress through Basic Training.

E-3, E-4, etc. This is the pay grade of an enlisted soldier and is used to identify what rank someone is no matter what the name for the rank across different services. You start out between an E-1 (Private) to an E-4 (Specialist), depending on how much college you have or how many people you have got to enlist.

Fighting Position: this can refer to a foxhole or another type of protected fighting position.

Fireguard: Every one does a shift of watching for fire, so there is someone watching the entire time everyone is a asleep. You do this as in every thing else in groups of two.

Formation: when your entire unit is standing out in line

Fragmentation Grenade: This is what most people refer to as a grenade - it shoots out shrapnel, a few seconds after you pull the pin. It has a very high angle of fire, so you are generally safe if you are laying down or in your foxhole.

FTX - Field Training Exercises : where you train for combat with all the equipment and in simulated battle by role-playing. It is the equivalent of a dress rehearsal for combat.

Gas Chamber: This is a small cabin you are taken into about half way through Basic Training. A stick of slowly releasing gas called CS which is from 10-100 times stronger than tear gas is placed inside. The Drill Sergeants are standing in there in full protective gear (MOPP4). You go in with your mask on, take it off and stand there. There are Drill Sergeants blocking both the doors on the outside. If you say anything or try to leave early, you are thrown back in for a longer period of time. You will start BRM shortly afterwards.

Go/No-Go: you either pass most tests in the Army and get a “go” or you fail and get a “no-go”

Hurry up and Wait: tendency of military to get you all ready for something a long time before they are ready to use you

KP - Kitchen Patrol: You get assigned KP every so many days. When you get this job, you go with another member of your platoon, you wake up before everyone else, and go in and help the cooks who are all civilians all day long. The Drill Sergeants smoke you if anyone does something wrong. You should be woken up by the fire guards.

Leave: time off from the military

LES - Leave and Earnings Statement: this is your paycheck and it also tells how much vacation you have accumulated.

Low Crawl and High Crawl: The low crawl is where you lay flat on your stomach and push forward with your helmet and your arm. The high crawl is where you crawl on your knees and elbows. The point of keeping low is that we are trained to hit and kill a soldier in 3-5 seconds of even seeing their helmet. It is no secret that American soldiers are poorer shots than most our enemies. So if we can hit them in that time, they definitely can hit us. The only way to protect against machine gun fire is by being as low as possible.

Montgomery GI Bill: a law passed by congress where you get money for college after serving in the military

Manual of Arms: This is where you learn to march with the rifle in ceremony and to move it safely while loaded in formation

MOS - Military Occupational Specialty. This is the job you signed up for when you first go to your regional MEPS. You are guaranteed this job as long as you pass the school. Since you get your first choice of available jobs, if and when you fail the school, the Army re-assigns you to their first choice, which is usually something in the combat arms like Tanker or Air Defense Artillery.

MREs - Meals Ready to Eat: pre-packaged and partially de-hydrated meals that don’t have to be cooked by cooks, but taste better, and are more expensive.

NBC - Nuclear Biological and Chemical: You wear a protective suit and a protective mask to protect you from poisonous chemical gases, nuclear radiation, and biological germ attack. It is called a pro mask or protective mask and never gas mask, because a gas mask would give you gas, not protect from it.

Personal Hygiene: brushing teeth, shaving, showering, etc.

Phases: You go through Red Phase, Blue Phase, and White Phases in the Army Basic Training. As you complete a phase, you get more privileges and you move up phases by passing your PT tests and learning basic combat survival skills.

Protestant: other - This is what was printed on my dog tags. The Army has several major groupings for religion - Protestant and Catholic, so there are always a Protestant minister and a Catholic priest for each unit. There might be others as well, but these were the only I knew of.

PT - Physical Training. Exercise. PT tests involve a 2-mile run, followed by 2 minutes of sit-ups, and 2 minutes of push-ups. You have to meet a certain standard or you have to do extra PT and can get other penalties as well.

PX - Post Exchange. This is like a drug store or other general store without groceries. These are stores on Army bases. You have to be in the military to go to them.

Range: where you practice shooting your rifle or other weapon

Ranger School: elite training where you learn how to take command posts in front of the regular Army. It is very difficult but not as advanced as the Green Berets.

Reception Battalion: This is where you arrive first after you leave the regional MEPS you were shipped from. This is your first experience in the Army. I was there for 11 days. You are usually only there for 3 days. You get issued your first gear here, you are taught how to do basic marching, and do basic processing like getting ID cards.

Riot Grenade: grenade filled with CS tear gas

ROTC - Reserve Officer Training Corps: This is a program where the military pays for college and you train in the summers and at the end, you serve as an officer, usually for 6 years.

Smart Books - Soldiers Manual. This is a very thick but small book that is camouflage covered and tells you everything that you will learn during Basic Training.

Smoked - This is generally done as an entire platoon. When the Drill Sergeant is unhappy with the performance of one or more of your platoon, you are made to do push-ups as well as any other exercises for as long as they want. The most strenuous one is getting up at attention and down into the push-ups position and back and forth really fast. One of the other platoons in our company were always smoked with their entire MOPP4 gear on (rubber chemical suits).

Sound Off - You have to yell out loud your rank, last name, and social security number followed by Drill Sergeant in order to get served food.

SPORTS - an anachronism for how to clear a rifle if the bullet gets jammed into the rifle and you cannot fire it.

UCMJ - Uniform Code of Military Justice. These are the laws you are under as a member of the military. Whenever you get in trouble, you get the civilian penalty plus the military one which is usually much worse. For not obeying one order, you can be sentenced to one year in a military prison after which you will get a dishonorable discharge, which disqualifies you for any type of assistance from the Veterans Administration or any other benefit veterans get. You can also be sentenced to death for rape, and receive prison time for adultery.

Weapons Ready: marching while you are holding your rifle in your hand with your finger on the trigger, ready to shoot

Zeroing. This is the process of firing at a target and then adjusting your rifle sights, so that everything lines up correctly. This is why you are assigned a different rifle for each person.

11 Jul 96

Dear Mom and Dad,

I have just finished my first day of Basic Training and it is not fun in any sense. I am writing this letter during fireguard - I got the best shift (9-11pm). I have to have it in by 04:35 hours tomorrow morning. Reception Battalion was boring but this is a nightmare. Once I get through the Red Phase - the first 2 weeks - my platoon will move on to Basic Rifle Marksmanship and I won’t be so stressed (maybe). The main part of our training is on marching, Physical Training, and lectures. I was called a “smart ass” for some unknown reason - I think I was misunderstood but I should have thought quicker so that I didn’t slip up even the slightest bit that I did. I am “Protestant: other” because the Army doesn’t know anything about any kind of Quakers. My head has been throbbing ever since the Drill Sergeant started getting annoyed, because people didn’t speak up at the right instance when they had a problem. I can kind of empathize with how the Drill Sergeants must feel about us, when we are so stressed out we become paralyzed to reason about little things, but it is hard to focus when you get so little sleep (9 pm to 3:45 am minus - usually - a 2 hour watch) and you can be dropped for push-ups if the Drill Sergeant thinks your question is dumb. The training I can stand the significance of even from my warped perspective. In order for us to win wars in the Information Age, all 250 MOS’s must perform their duties perfectly accurate in instantaneous speeds and be able to work together as a team to win because there is no second place in war. They want us to work harder than we ever had before so that we can develop a work ethic. They want to be in our face enough to unite the platoon into one cohesive unit. I am so glad I am not E-3 or E-4, because I think someone would have to be supernatural to lead others right on track, while not slipping up themselves. The privates are all very different from each other, but there is already a strong brotherhood forming - and that is what will build the momentum to carry us on through the next 8 weeks. There are only 55 days to go and counting, which is several eternities, when you can barely plan ahead enough for the next day, if you’re lucky. We did some push-ups already for not making our beds quick enough, but it hurt much more to think that maybe I was holding up the platoon than the pain of the physical exercise. Being embarrassed in front of your buddies is an effective motivator, because you have to fall back on your buddies, when you cannot carry on some other time, and you want to make sure you’ll be ready to catch them when they fall, and how can you, when you can’t even keep your own self in order. Most punishments involve the whole group, but this develops teamwork, not persecution, as you might expect. I found some Bible verses that were helpful to me: 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, Galatians 6:9-10, and Psalm 90. I was concerned that my Reception Platoon would make Basic a living Hell, but they got split up and no one would dare to screw off even though the DS can only punish you with physical exercise. Our platoon must have finished dinner in 10-15 minutes (including the time we stood in line) because you cannot even lift your head while eating let alone talk. No one messes around with the women or the weapons, because you can be fined hundreds of dollars for carrying one round off range by accident, or by saying one word a female might choose to use against you. I can get up to one year in prison and thousands of dollars in fines and a dishonorable discharge for not following any order, no matter how inconsequential, under the Uniform Code of Military Justice. I hope I don’t ever make one wrong step in line, forget 1 item of gear, or misunderstand any one word the DS says or s/he will “smoke” my whole platoon. I’ve been having a little trouble with my allergies, but I don’t want to get an Article 15 for having non-prescription drugs in my possession. Please pray for me. I am continually tempted to try to get kicked out, but I am going to follow the DS’s advice and follow through my decision like a man, because although I made a good choice, my choice now calls me to a higher standard of everything. The “Hurry Up and Wait” system of the military program is very distracting and disturbing, but you would be surprised at how careful soldiers are monitored for and how well they prevent needless red tape. I found out that one soldier was a so stressed that he had to throw up and I felt better. You wouldn’t believe how little time we have to keep clean shaven, sanitize ourselves, get into correct uniform (incl. polishing our boots), keep our barracks and latrine in immaculate cleanliness, read our “Smart Books” and keep remembering everything the DS tells us about even once - in such a way that if you ask him to repeat it, he won’t believe that you can’t remember his assignment/lesson. I haver already memorized my General Orders and Rank Insignia. I feel like I am hallucinating often on watch. Once I woke up sure that the DS was screaming in our faces and soon learned that no one was up and that the DS wasn’t even there. The Bible luckily is always the only acceptable reading material besides our “Smart Books.” I hope we can keep the DS from raising his voice for most of tomorrow. The first time they “smoke” us will be the worst and I am sure it will be soon. Push-ups are really one of the hardest physical exercises. I’m glad I stuck to the list I was given to pack for Basic verbatim because I just barely got by doing push-ups for it (as it was I had to buy quite a few items at the Reception Battalion PX, to complete the official list of required items. We finished our showers a few minutes late - 64 people through 6 showers in less than 20 minutes - but the DS did not get up to check on us, so we didn’t get smoked. We are getting plenty early tomorrow, so we will have a reasonable chance to not louse up for a while. I can barely fight off the sleepy headedness as my shift comes to close. Hopefully I will be able to fall asleep soon. 3:45 am comes around to early. Please write soon.

Your Son,

Benjamin

20 Jul 96

Dear Parents,

There is so much to say and I don’t know where to start so I’ll just start in the middle. My first letter was fairly morbid, but I have relaxed manifold since then. My Drill Instructors are fair and reasonable for the most part for their kind, but one of them is being replaced in a few days and he (the replacement) is much stricter (but this will help me on my PT test and help my platoon pull together more). I have already past my 2-mile run and 2-minutes sit-ups test with scores of 71% (14.44) and 55% (47) - you need 50% to pass (60% for airborne). I was only able to score 38% with 20 pushups, but they make you go much lower than I practiced for, and within a two minute limit and I used a mat, which I had to keep my arms in, so I had to go down farther. Next time I won’t use the mat, so I can spread out my arms farther and now that I know how far to go down I will waste less energy, so I should be able to do more. If I just do a few more, I will qualify for the phase change so I will get more privileges and will get shouted at less. We have already done Bayonet Training, Marching Practice, Manual of Arms (marching with rifles), Basic Rifle Orientation, lectures on the UCMJ (laws), Personal Hygiene, Sexual Harassment/Equal Opportunity, HIV/AIDS, Sabotage and Subversion, Code of Conduct, Military Customs and Courtesies, Fire Guard, and Kitchen Patrol. We have been issued most of our gear and learned most of the marching formations and maneuvers. I have memorized my Chain of Command, Phonetic Alphabet, Ranks and Insignia, and General Orders. I attended the Protestant Church Service the last couple Sundays. The service was very refreshing and I was encouraged to hear other soldiers who were excited about Christianity - their testimonies helped me relax. I was also good for my heart to hear some music. I decided I would try to be a Chaplain’s Assistant, if my job with computers doesn’t work out for me for some reason. I might be able to be a Chaplain in the Army Reserves, after I graduate from college, if I can get registered as a minister, with the Friends Church even though I won’t get a religious major. That way, I start out as a Captain, instead of a 2nd Lieutenant and I would like to work with soldiers through their spiritual problems - I like their attitudes. We had several locker inspections so far, but I wasn’t checked because I had KP one time and the other we were randomly checked and I wasn’t selected, but my locker would pass any check anytime. Hospital corners and locker organization are not hard if you are a perfectionist and take the time to check and re-check until it is perfect. I am slow on some of my marching maneuvers and my manual of arms, but I am the best by far in memorization. I feel like I never get quite enough sleep (about 7 1/2 hours), but the PT, although intense, doesn’t require an unreasonable amount of effort, and even when we get smoked, although we are in pain at the time, we usually feel better after having done it. Just today, I got angry at someone, but I feel justified for having felt that way. While I was walking across the Chow Hall to clean my tray, I overheard a Drill Sergeant ridiculing a female private, for being too heavy and threatened to smoke her until he broke her and she would stop eating so much. I glared at him for a while, stunned, and had to exert an extreme amount of effort to keep from beating the living crud out of him. Definitely an injustice, but the private was being a glutton and had volunteered for serving the Army knowing it would entail those kinds of things. Later on, I found out that Army regulations require commanders to promote a specified percentage of white female, black female, other female, white male, black male, and other male soldiers from each category, even if some of the candidates aren’t as qualified as the ones s/he wanted to promote. This is the end of my 10th day, I have 46 more to do, but they keep on going faster each day. My battalion graduates on the 4th of September. I ship off to my advanced training on the 5th. My advanced training starts on the 13th. I get 2.5 days leave a month which I can save up to 60 days worth of. Please write if you have time. I have to take a shower and shine my boots now. Luckily our HIV/AIDS presentation didn’t spark many questions, so we finished early and so I had time to write this letter to you. Don’t expect telephone calls - I only have between 8 and 11:30 am EST on Sundays to call - the lines are 3 hours long and I go to church, clean my boots, and do my wash, during that time.

Your Son,

Benjamin

P.S. I will be purchasing pictures with my uniform on (with all the badges), a Cycle Book (memory book) and a video of the highlights of Basic Training, so you can see what I did. I found out that Victory Towers is on the 24th of July (that’s a cool high ropes obstacle confidence course) and the Gas Chamber is on August 1st (which is not fun, but will at least clear my sinuses). So far, I have managed not to go on sick call once, even when I didn’t feel very good. We haven’t had to do push-ups for mail yet, but I don’t know if we will be able to eat cookies without PT to burn the calories off.

28 Jul 96

We are halfway through our third week and we have experienced Drill Sergeant Pelehach for about a week. Pelehach reminds me of Lieutenant Commander Queeg in The Caine Mutiny (by Herman Wook), He always has this smirk on his face, he is paranoid, and he drops us for push-ups for no other reason than he just feels like it. He did drop down and do push-ups with us the first time and he does explain why he does the seemingly irrational things he does. He wants to give us stress, so we learn how to deal with change, as modern warfare is so fluid. He wants us to work as a team, so he makes himself the common enemy, so that we would have the opportunity to unite against him. Other training we have been through recently, not mentioned in earlier letters or postcards, include: rifle aiming, function check, foxhole and prone firing positions, environmental awareness, ethics, rape prevention, family planning, rescue breathing, and applying a pressure dressing. Several negative things happened. Private Cruise (a member of our platoon still here after several cycles for getting injured and not taking care of the injury and deciding to try Basic again) attempted suicide, so they put her in the psychiatric ward in a padded cell. Lesson: Don’t just attempt to commit suicide - either go all the way or just carry on. $13 dollars was stolen from me - I left my locker unattended once when I had to go down to formation and didn’t have time to lock it - the rest was luckily in money orders (my cash advance), but most people lost a lot more. I found out that I am left eye dominant, which means I have to fire my rifle as a left handed person would, which makes it harder to hold it steady for long periods of time. I signed up for an 11“ x 14” of my platoon and an Annual of my graduating class and pictures of some of the training we underwent. We are just starting cadence, which makes marching more fun, especially the other day, when it rained for the first time while we were outside and not told to put our rain gear on - I became very emotional, as I was reminded of running back in Oregon. I also found a way to get a lot of leave very early. Ask SSG Rodriguez to sign me up for the Hometown Recruiting Program. The Hometown Recruiting Programwould allow me to receive up to 40 days “leave” as long as I work for the Springfield Recruiting Station immediately after AIT, before I ship off for permanent duty station and this “leave” would not be deducted from the 30 days authorized per year. I would like to use the time to ask SSG Rodriguez about how good a shape you need to be in to go to Air Assault School (repelling off helicopters) and describe what happens at Ranger School in more detail. I would also like some time to pack up some of my belongings and several other things.

Your Son

Benjamin

P.S. Please send Rebecca’s address. Please pray for me when I go to the gas chamber on August 1st.

11 Aug 96

Dear Parents,

This week we started Basic Rifle Marksmanship on Range 1 “South Carolina”. I zeroed my rifle and I grouped my triangulations. I have learned to pick out human silhouettes from the tree-line, and I have shot at single and multiple targets that come up and down at random distances, along a specific lane, for only a few seconds. A few weeks ago, when we were driven past the BRM ranges, I was impressed with how beautiful it was under the little trees, but now I know how penetrating the heat can be and how long a day at the range can be, or how frustrating it can be to be ate-up and be told you are letting the entire team down, by being clueless, even though you are doing your very best. Tuesday night, we were on Bivouac (camping) out near the BRM ranges. I was one of the fastest to both set up and take down my tent. We had a camouflage demonstration - all you need is light green and loam. We practiced noise discipline and used only red flashlights. The sandy soil worked great for the tent stakes. I was impressed with how adaptable and durable the military gear issued to us as privates. We were only smoked once and didn’t have to march far. Thursday, we marched 4 miles with rucksacks to Range 12. My knee cramped up and gave me some trouble towards the end, but I stayed in step and in formation. Thursday night I had to be a buddy for another one of the battle buddies, so he could go to the hospital, which cut down on my sleep even further. Friday I was able to keep my rifle up the entire time that we did rifle PT, even though I did 100 sit-ups and 400 push-ups the day before (for leaving my night sight up instead of my day sight - I forgot to slip it back after cleaning it). I am also improving significantly at my Manual of Arms (rifle drill and ceremony). At the single and double targets range, the NCOIC of the range - the sergeant giving the commands from the tower - sounded like an auctioneer and I had a hard time not laughing, because there was a sergeant with a Marine Corps tattoo, who was just appalled at how stupid we were - we were so nervous, we went the wrong direction, and the “auctioneer” told the DS over the loudspeaker which lanes to watch well, which when you looked over there, you could tell they were missing all the targets and were behind a few commands. Saturday, we started double targets in the BRM range. I was so tired from fire watch the night before, but I still did much better. And as the targets become more and more lifelike I do better and better. My platoon does the best on Manual of Arms now and we are the only ones in our company who knew the counts to the 15-count Manual of Arms, so we can live up to last cycles “2nd to none” reputation. Our platoon is re-adjusting its pecking order, as we are half way through our 5th week. After BRM qualification on the 14th, I will be able to relax a little. It is very hot out on the range and we have virtually no time to get our personal hygiene and weapon cleaning done. I am going to try to call once a week to keep my sanity. This Sunday, I am waiting in line, during the service and hopefully I will finish in time before Bible study, but I may have waited too long for either.

PAST EVENTS

We now have a Drill Cadet named Saban. She is really cool. She wears a silver circle mirror on her cap to denote her rank, which is roughly equivalent to that of our Drill Sergeants. She is in the ROTC program (probably she will be going into her junior year in college as she has just completed her 6-week Basic Course - ROTC Basic Training). She dropped with us when DS Pelehach smoked us and she only drops us for 5 push-ups when we do something really stupid. She isn’t arrogant like the other Drill Cadets. She doesn’t do very well at cadence calls and she won’t let us use sexual or dirty words or phrases in our cadence. I have received my first Leave and Earnings Statement: I have 25 days leave accumulated and $514 deposited in my account not including $200 Casual Pay, but without the Montgomery GI Bill money or laundry fees taken out (they will probably be deducted from my LES that I will get on the 15th). On my last PT test, I improved my push-ups from 20 to 30, my sit-ups from 47 to 70 and my 2 mile run from 14:44 to 13:03. That bumped me up from the “B” to the “A” running group and kept me from passing the final PT test by 2 push-ups. I will probably get about 40 push-ups, 80 sit-ups, and about 12:30 this Saturday on my PT test, which will give me enough points to pass my AIT PT tests, I passed into White Phase, by scoring high enough on my PT test and stayed off my DS’s Sugar Honey Ice Tea list by passing my communications, map, rifle function check, first aid, rank identification, and saluting an officer tests. I decided not to try for any Military Combat Training like Air Assault or Ranger Schools and instead get as much leadership and academic schooling as possible to avoid being drafted for infantry, even though that is fairly unlikely. I have come to realize that I would learn how to survive in combat better by learning Jiu-Jitsu (the martial art developed from Bruce Lee’s Jeet Kune Do concepts)  as I would like to train gradually over a long period of time, so I can really understand what I am learning. Jiu-Jitsu covers fighting in all situations as in it has no fixed fighting stance and would prepare me for combat without making it more likely for me to be sent to combat. Some of those in the Rangers and the Airborne think that they are so bad that they “never die, they just go to Hell to regroup” and that they don’t need help from anyone, even God. I took communion for the first time this last Sunday in I don’t know how many years. It was more special to me as I had been through Hell in my own mind’s eye in the gas chamber a few days before. We have also been pre-trained in Claymore Mines, how to respond to NBC attack, and how to identify Soviet weaponry.

Your Son,

Benjamin

19 Aug 96

Dear Parents,

Much has happened in the last week. I’ll go chronologically this time. I ordered several platoon t-shirts with our insignia and motto on them. We did some push-ups, where we dipped down between two chairs - 3 sets of 30. They really build muscle tone and endurance in the entire arm, especially the chest and shoulders. We now get to eat frozen yogurt on Sundays. I don’t miss candy much. We get candy in our MREs, that we can eat, but it is usually too rich for me, since I haven’t had it for so long. It’s hard to get a good balance of food, as we have so little time  to pick up what we want in the chow hall, but I get plenty of fruit, grain, and dairy. I thought that I might miss not knowing what’s going on in the world, but I don’t waste time on newspapers, because it is all the same anyway. I do miss music though. My creative side lies dormant in my sleep. I have had some weird dreams lately. There is so little time to appreciate nature and to stop and think out alone. We did our first 5 mile tactical road march, with weapons ready, like the Roadrunner Battalion in Vietnam. The day before the Final BRM Record Qualification Day, my whole platoon with our Drill Sergeant Roberts and my battle buddy led the prayer. We even had 2 privates from the platoon we bunk with join. We prayed that we could win a ribbon for DS Roberts and work as a team, so we could all qualify the first time. On Final BRM Record Qualification Day, we started doing push-ups as a platoon, when just one person was dropped, this time DS Roberts dropped with us. As my firing number came up, I walked up singing “Rushing Wind” to myself out loud. I missed too many, from the foxhole, because our site posts were blackened by the DS as we walked in so it took me too long to realize that I was aiming for the bottom of the blackened part on the sight post. When I went to the prone unsupported firing position, I hit almost every target - 1 shot/1 kill every time. My DS thought I would bolo, so the 250 and 300 meter targets went up and down for me and counted as if I shot them every time. My DS Roberts put her thumb up and smiled and the Tower announced that everyone in my firing order qualified. The CO pinned the badge on me. My Company was best in the whole battalion and my platoon was the best in the company at BRM. We are still waiting for DS Pelehach to do 200 push-ups for our platoon guide when she qualified as an expert. We did night fire later that day. It is so dark that most people didn’t even bother to sync their sights. We were told to shoot the wrong targets, so I shot enough targets for both me and the guy next to me to get a go, by switching back and forth between both targets that could be mine. The tracers were beautiful though. I was lucky enough to shoot while it was still light enough to get a go (7/30) but the DS didn’t even keep track of who was on what lane. We got to bed by 11:30, and were up by 4:30 the next morning for PT. I also had fire guard for someone on KP the next day. The next day, we fired with our NBC Pro masks on, and I freaked out, because I couldn’t get it on quick enough and I could still smell CS gas in it. We also fired on burst this time, with my right hand, which was much easier. In fact, I hit every target and DS Pelehach asked me why I didn’t fire right handed before. I answered - I was told to fire left handed, because DS Evans said that I was left eye dominant. It won’t be too hard to qualify as a sharpshooter, after AIT, right handed. We also had a Health and Welfare inspection ordered by my CO to find who had condoms, cake, pornos, and other contraband. Drill Cadet Saban inspected my locker, so my gear was not thrown around. I also found out that if I am stationed with a Light Infantry Regiment, life will be very hard- 25 miles a day with 100 lb. pack over rough terrain and sheer cliffs at quick time in step - but that is unlikely to happen to me as I will be working with computers. We went back to the Reception Battalion and were issued our Class “B” and “A” Uniforms. Everyone looked better in a uniform and I was able to sneak in a little contraband sleep. We had our 3rd PT test. I got 12:42 on my 2-mile run, 84 on my sit-ups in 2 minutes, and 43 push-ups in 2 minutes. I passed the Basic and AIT standards already, and I phased into Blue Phase with the rest of my company. My platoon lost the Drill and Ceremony Competition by 1 point. We fired an M-60 Machine Gun with live ammunition, M-203 Grenade Launcher with paint balls, and an AT-4 Anti-Tank Round with 9mm tracer ammunition. The M-60 was too loud and jammed into my shoulder uncomfortably. The Grenade Launcher was a glorified paint-ball gun and was almost impossible to aim with the funky sight. The AT-4 was too light to balance, when you couldn’t put the back blast area into the pocket of your shoulder, and was too much weight in back, compared to the weight in front. The Battalion Commander walked by me and tested me to make sure I was watching to make sure my back blast area was clear. We learned how to administer a nerve agent antidote to our body and started reviewing for individual proficiency tests at the end of the cycle. Two members of my platoon were flirting, so DS Pelehach gave them a nice “evening out” in the chow hall, after they paid $189 for an Article 15. Only 2 weeks left. Please send me pictures of family and my checks.

Your Son,

Benjamin

25 Aug 96

Dear Parents,

Basic Training is tougher than ever before and it is so hard to see the end of the road, as I get more and more depressed each day thinking about FTX and being gassed with CS out in the field. We learned how to low crawl, high crawl, and 3-5 second rush for our basic Individual Movement Techniques. This is to minimize the amount of time that you give away your position and expose yourself to sniper fire. Low crawl is the most tiring and the most dirty IMT besides being the slowest, but your profile is so low that it is almost impossible to be hit and your kevlar helmet protects your entire body. Low crawling can also be used to get under barbed wire. Low crawling isn’t too bad in the sand, but hurts a lot over roots. We also learned how to signal for Set, Moving, Hold, and Danger Area. That night, we started learning how to use Interlocking Fire to defend a position. This emphasizes the necessity of teamwork out in the field. You cannot defend yourself. You have to cover your buddy and let him cover you, so your lines of fire criss cross to form a wall of hot lead. We saw a demonstration. When the enemy came too close, they set off claymore mines, threw hand grenades, had the M-60 machine gunner fire across the length of their positions, to create a very dense and deadly wall of lead, while tying up only one gunner. Then the rifle bearing soldiers were freed up to aim for and pick off the enemy one by one. Flares were sent off to signal major themes of the battle. White flares illuminated the battlefield, green meant start firing, and red means ceasefire. The next day, we qualified for grenades and threw 2 live M-69 Fragmentation Grenades. We were shown what an Incendiary, White Smoke, and Colored Smoke looked like when employed. I freaked out, so they didn’t throw the CS Gas grenade (8-10x as strong as the gas chamber), even though they would throw it far enough that it wouldn’t drift over towards us. I qualified as a Marksman on the Grenade Qualification Course. As I realized the power in the Fragmentation Grenades and was let go to the live fire range before I felt like I knew what I was doing, I started freaking out. They made me go first, and let the best instructor talk me through it. We put on our Kevlars and put on a Kevlar jacket and we were behind a concrete wall with reinforced steel, but that still isn’t comforting when you don’t know how much power the grenade has. The instructor told me how it must not be dangerous as he did it every day and he was sane. I looked up and saw only little craters and couldn’t see any shrapnel in the sand and the target didn’t even appear scathed. I was more calm, when I picked up the live grenade, then when I used the practice ones, because it was easier to use and felt the right weight. I aimed and threw as far as I could and dropped my head and arms between my legs, as I squatted down in less than a split second. Luckily my instructor was holding me down, because the time delay was so long (3-5 seconds) that I almost stood up, to see if I remembered to pull the pin. When I went back into the protection area and looked through the 5 panes of bullet proof glass, the grenades didn’t seem to blow up too large an area (5-10 feet) and all you saw was sand kicked up in the air, but the shrapnel must have been sent far, because shrapnel penetrated up to 4 panes deep. I sat down immediately, when I noticed this, so I was protected by even thicker concrete and steel. The next day, I KPD’d for another battalion, so I got out of low crawling all day. The last few days, we have been going through all the Individual Proficiency Tasks in our assigned groups (1/2 platoon size) to make sure we are so thoroughly brainwashed with the correct answers that we can’t possibly screw up, even if we sound off as a group. We took our final PT test and I did 53 push-ups (70%), 85 sit-ups (92%) (both in 2 minutes) and 12:45 (93%) on my 2 mile run (I would have ran faster, but my battle buddies kept on yelling CS gas, so I lost my concentration). We can now drink soda and eat cake when DS Roberts is on duty (she smokes us before we eat to burn off the calories). I finally got my NBC Protective Mask to seal and will practice getting it on in less than 9 seconds, so I won’t get a mouthful of CS, when they drop it on us at FTX. I passed everything required, so I will not be held back unless I go insane or go on profile, when it is time for me to ship off. I talked to the DS, the Chaplain, and my battle buddies about the CS - I almost quit over it, but they have helped me and will not gas us bad, because they don’t want me to go insane and kill someone. I think my DS is reassured, because I told him I will forewarn him, before I do something stupid. It seems you have to learn to speak, to walk, and to think all over again in the Army - I forgot everything I ever learned and lost all my self-confidence but it will come back after FTX. Just pray that I make it that far. If I do make it that far, I made plans with one of my battle buddies. His parents will sign me out and take me out to dinner (and I will have more than 5 minutes to eat, I can talk, and don’t have to sound off and stand at ease in line). I will be able to relax tremendously after FTX, but the depression may be much worse during AIT, as I am away longer and longer from Oregon and the people I am used to. 5 days of training, 4 days of cleaning and out-processing and 2 days of graduation left. I am going to ask the chaplain to pray for me for the first time. I hope I break my back or the pain in my ears turns out to be an ear infection so I can get out of FTX. I have to wake up my relief so I can get off fireguard and get a couple hours sleep. Oh, we got our platoon t-shirts in - they are beautiful - I might frame one.

Your Son,

Benjamin

1 Sep 96

This Monday, we completed the End of Cycle Individual Proficiency Tests, otherwise known as “Super Bowl.” There were 10 stations with 20 or 30 tasks. I passed (got a “go”) on 8 of the stations. At the claymore mine deployment and recovery, I left the test set in when I fired it, so I got a no-go. At the rifle malfunction clearing station, I performed SPORTS (slap magazine, pull the charging handle back, observe the chamber, release the charging handle, tap the forward assist, and squeeze the trigger) wrong, because I used the wrong hand and the 2nd time because I switched the 2 S’s. On Tuesday, we went to the confidence course. We climbed towers and ropes and went down a command wire. We also low crawled under barb wire and mounted various obstacles. On Wednesday, we left for Field Training Exercises (FTX) - this was by far the worst “camping” experience I have ever had. They only gassed us once, but they threw a lot of smoke grenades very close to my fighting position. The first time one of the Drill Sergeants set off a white smoke grenade 20 ft. from me, I hesitated for a split second, because I didn’t think riot grenades made a “snap-crackle-pop” sound, but I still managed to get my mask cleared and sealed and run down the hill in 4 seconds. No one else had gotten their mask out of the carrier. Then we realized that the wind was blowing the opposite direction and that it wasn’t CS. We were just below the grenade range and a rifle range and my battle buddy kept coughing, so I was always ready to put my mask on. I found out that CS doesn’t “boom” and is grey, and wispy so I could identify it before I totally freaked out. I knew we would not be gassed at night, but I still slept with my mask right on my left leg in its carrier. When they called us out to form along the main road, Thursday night, I knew we would be gassed. They always gassed the road and they wanted to make sure everyone was gassed equally. The CO gave us a lecture on lightening safety procedures, as the DSs were tying CS canisters on the end of their staffs. They started at the other end of the company formation and my mask was cleared and sealed long before the gas got near. There first was a smoke bomb and then we were told “All Clear” then came the real gas and I got mine on in time again. Some guys said “all clear” and some morons took off their masks and were hurting bad. The DS made us take off our masks before it was really all clear, but my battle buddies helped keep me from running. I threw dirt on my hands and kept my eyes closed so it wasn’t as bad. It took us all day Wednesday to dig and camouflage our foxhole. We had to clear 6 ft. in all directions around the fighting position. The hole had to be 2 kevlar helmets long, 2 M-16 rifles wide, and arm pit deep of the tallest buddy (me). We then had to arrange some 80 odd sandbags to cover our position and we covered all that with sticks, leaves, needles, and small bushes to conceal it. On of my DS’s (DS Pelehach) took me out on a mission. We were to assault an “enemy” position demonstrating our: map, first aid, communication, perimeter security, and out individual movement technique skills. My DS had a simulation fragmentation grenade and a white smoke grenade with CS riot grenade markings on it to see if I would run when he threw it. He threw it fairly far away and the wind blew it the other way, but it was too dense and the people running through it too calm for it to be CS. My DS Roberts took me on a night raid with flare for illumination. It was fun. The march back was between 4-6 miles with full combat gear (carrying our rifles at ready arms) but I was relaxed and I started to remember our training and back at high school and see them both as real at the same time. We are cleaning and turning in all our gear we used in Basic. I probably don’t owe any money for anything. We went to a concert on post with All 4 One and Planet Soul which was really relaxing although late at night. I am looking forward to graduation, AIT, and home more and more as I can finally see the end of the road.

Your Son,

Benjamin

2.2.3 Military Poetry Memories of a Soldier The Dark

Is is dark now

And I fight to stay awake

I never was this tired before

But my time in the Army

Sure was exhausting

And many things I still remember

Happened at night

The night of our arrival

At Reception Battalion

Lasted far past midnight

It took us hours to get into formation

And to stop talking

I don’t remember

What processing they were doing

That took all that time

The night watch was so long

I read my green Gideon’s pocket bible

And scoured its indexes

Finding helpful verses

I still don’t know

What we were watching for

At Basic Training

Day started in a flash of light

The light switch was flipped

And we jumped out of bed

And ran into formation

Then we ran out into the dark

And stopped under stadium lights

My arrival to my Duty Station

Was in the deep of night

So idyllic with the palm trees

And the fresh sea air

I was lost of course

Following Drill Sergeants orders

I didn’t get on the bus

With the rest of the soldiers

But I found my way to my unit

With a lot of help

Ironically the cab dropped me off

Within feet of my assigned battalion

I walked to and from my job

Usually in the dark of dawn or dusk

And I wore my sleeves long

And wore mountain boots

Because it can get chilly

With the air conditioning so high

Fear and Excitement

My experience in the Army

Was full of fear and excitement

I was terrified of being tortured

But I was thrilled beyond imagination

At being part of history

The risk is beyond human

But with the adrenaline going

You forget all the problems that could arise

I knew what I was doing was important

And it was exciting work

For someone just out of high school

Hawaii was a dream on earth

And the activities were plentiful

The land and ocean are breath taking

But the people are what keep you there

One bus travels the perimeter of Oahu

From North Shore to Waikiki

By Scofield Barracks and Pearl Harbor

Location is everything

And that was perfect

But my mind was tormented

With long bouts of depression and paranoia

In my barracks

I was kept awake

With fear of deployment

And fear of chemical attack

I had no trouble at work

My supervisors were amazed at my performance

I tested out of a year of college

And maxed out my sit-ups portion of the PT test

But worries worked at my stomach

And I could never relax

I saw the island

But had trouble enjoying anything

It was not that I was just negative

But my mood kept me on a bad course

When I went in for counseling

They knew something was wrong

Churches Numerous

God was very real to me

When I was in the Army

And the church was the safest place for me

A place where little was expected

I went to church during Basic Training

There were no Drill Sergeants there

And there were no orders to follow

At Advanced Individual Training

I attended a Methodist church

A block from our barracks

The other soldiers wondered why

I went every week

But that was all I had left of myself

When I arrived at my Duty Station

I tried a number of churches

I found a church next to my barracks again

But I was the only white person there

It was full of excitement

And people even danced in church

It was Church of God in Christ denomination

But I don’t remember their theology

My roommate drove me to his church

At the other end of the island

This was the best church in Honolulu

It was Word of Life Christian Center

Or something like that

This was the First Charismatic/Pentecostal church

I attended regularly

It was a great place to meet

Nice young women my age

And they had activities for 20 somethings

Another church I went to was called

Oahu Church of Christ or something like that

They met in the form of potlucks

At a different place every time

And there were always outdoor baptisms

At every service

The final church I went to

Was just outside the base

Every Sunday was a salvation message

And members were expected to come

Other times of the week as well

Saturday nights the preacher answered questions

And there was prayer and speaking in tongues

Every other night throughout the week

Safe and Sound The Recruiter

I took a long time deciding

Whether or not to join the military

One of my interests in it

Was that I could do something

Interesting just out of high school

And go to a much better college

And not be in debt from student loans

I was also stressed out with all the reading

We did my senior year and I was looking

Forward to have some time away

From a rigorous academic program

I chose to go enlisted because I wanted

To get my military service out of the way

Before I went to college

Because even then I didn’t

Think it would be very enjoyable

I found out later that there is little

A person can do to prepare for Basic Training

Except getting into good over all physical shape

I had run most years of high school in

Cross Country and Long Distance Track

And my senior year I worked out all summer

And took an intensive conditioning course

The last half of my senior year

I signed up a whole year in advance

So I got an interesting job in the Army

Working with computers

I remember asking my recruiter directly

About the NBC training

And whether or not our enemies would be

Using chemical weapons in combat

He directly denied it

I wasn’t afraid of being killed

But I didn’t want to be burned alive

The brochures painted one side of

Someone’s imagination of military life

But being in the Army is very different

The only thing I had really known

That was correct was that it didn’t

Require much brain power even for

The most advanced engineering job

Basic Training

The first thing that shocked me

Was how much easier the physical training

And how more friendly my fellow soldiers were

Than I had expected

The downside was that I didn’t

Rise to the occasion as much as I had hoped

The first 2 weeks of Basic Training

You get yelled at a lot from the Drill Sergeants

And you learn to march

As well as watch films on all sorts of things

Like the military judicial system (UCMJ)

And a scare film about STDs

You also get issued gear during this period

It is really easy to get out then

But there is nothing very stressful yet

Next you learn the Manual of Arms

How to move the rifle in ceremony and safely

I had to drop and do push-ups

Each time any procedure was explained

As I seemed to keep on getting it wrong

Then we had a confidence building course

That we had to repel and climb through

Various towers somewhat like an obstacle course

Then they do pictures and no one is allowed to smile

Of course that wasn’t hard as we were to go

To the gas chamber in a few days

I was told the gas chamber didn’t cause any pain

And that you only had to

Hold your breath for a few seconds

You go in this small dark room

With your mask on and you feel

Your hands are burning painfully

Then you are told to take off the mask

Not only can you barely breathe

But it feels like your

Lungs and eyes are on fire

We were kept in there for at least 5 minutes

And we were the last platoon in

So we had much more of the CS gas

In the room at the time

As they put another stick in each time

Another platoon went in

This is when I realized the

Risks I was taking by enlisting

After that, we spent 2 weeks

Learning how to shoot the M-16 (BRM)

I thought I would never pass

But the drill sergeant gave me a lane

Where the 300m target jumped up

And down and counted for me

No matter if I hit it or not

We then trained with a live grenade

I freaked out about this

Until I got the live grenade and then

It just felt like throwing a baseball

Except after you throw it you dive

Down in your foxhole and put

Your head between your legs

For training we didn’t have a foxhole

But we had a cement wall

We stood behind, we wore a kevlar

Helmet and vest and the sergeant

Jumped on us to make sure we were down

These grenades are safe as long as you aren’t

Standing up as they explode at a high angle

Then we went to field training exercises (FTX)

I didn’t do very good at digging a foxhole

But my battle buddy slept while I

Watched for the Drill Sergeant

One time, the Drill Sergeant pulled my rifle

Out of my hands, so I had to low crawl

In the dirt, but later I gathered

That she was saving me from the

Other Drill Sergeant who was going to throw

CS gas into my foxhole

I slept with my protective mask on that night

Then we did a big test on everything

We learned for combat survival

I failed the clearing a rifle from a jam test (SPORTS)

And I left the test button connected when

I set off my claymore mine and yelled “claymore”

I was supposed to be punished for that

But it didn’t happen for some reason

During the last week, the head Drill Sergeant

For the platoon announced in front of everyone

That if I wasn’t already promoted as high

As she could promote, then she would have

Chosen my above all the other soldiers

The only thing that happened the same every day

Was that we woke up once the lights were turned on

We jumped out of bed and ran into formation

When we finished training under the football lights

We went to breakfast as it was getting light

And this was in the middle of the summer

On Sundays we got a few hours off to write letters

And we could go to church or we could do chores

We were also allowed a little time to call home

Advanced Training

Going to advanced training was a big relief (AIT)

I was shocked to see my roommates

Watch TV and play video games

I was also shocked that we had Drill Sergeants

In advanced training as well

And these ones were out of uniform

The first month or two we did details (chores)

We went to school in rotating schedules

We had morning, swing, and graveyard shifts

Every few months, our class rotated

I went to school with all the other services

I developed allergic pink eye (Conjunctivitis)

Which I continued to have for 3 more years

I think I was more stressed out by

Having to identify who are the officers

And who are the NCOs and their ranks

Than I was afraid of the real potential

Of being exposed to chemical weapons

Going to advanced training was a big relief (AIT)

I was shocked to see my roommates

Watch TV and play video games

I was also shocked that we had Drill Sergeants

In advanced training as well

And these ones were out of uniform

The first month or two we did details (chores)

We went to school in rotating schedules

We had morning, swing, and graveyard shifts

Every few months, our class rotated

I went to school with all the other services

I developed allergic pink eye (Conjunctivitis)

Which I continued to have for 3 more years

I think I was more stressed out by

Having to identify who are the officers

And who are the NCOs and their ranks

Than I was afraid of the real potential

Of being exposed to chemical weapons

We had much better food as we were on

A Navy base and after the Air Force abandoned

Their “dormitories” we inherited them

They were like the Hilton to us

But they were not up to Air Force standards

The Marines really hated us

As they trained on an Army base before

And they didn’t have a good experience

We gradually got more and more privileges

After every few months

We were eventually allowed to leave the base

When I shipped off, everyone was being sent to Hawaii

People graduating a month or 2 before me

Were sent to Bosnia and Korea

We had much better food as we were on

A Navy base and after the Air Force abandoned

Their “dormatories”, we inherited them

They were like the Hilton to us

But they were not up to Air Force standards

The Marines really hated us

As they trained on an Army base before

And they didn’t have a good experience

We gradually got more and more privileges

After every few months

We were eventually allowed to leave the base

When I shipped off, everyone was being sent to Hawaii

People graduating a month or 2 before me

Were sent to Bosnia and Korea

Permanent Duty Station

I graduated on Valentine’s Day

And arrived at the air port

In the middle of the night

I took a taxi as the Drill Sergeant told me

On arriving to the base

I did not know where to go

Ironically, I was dropped off in exactly the right spot

I had to do details my first few weeks

After doing processing at the base

There was a bus that drove

All around the island (Oahu)

So I could see all the sites on my days off

We worked on a rotating swing and graveyard

So I would always have different days off

I attended different churches on the base

In town nearby, in Honolulu, and across the island

It was so beautiful even in the winter

After working a few months, I got mononucleosis

I also got staff eye infections

One day, half delirious

I went to the commanding officer

And asked to get out of the military

I didn’t even care if it was honorable or not

I was referred to the counseling center

They determined that I had a personality disorder

I never even saw anyone other than NCOs

A psychiatrist (a Major) signed off on it at the end

Later I found I had Schizophrenia, but that

The military wanted to save money,

So they didn’t diagnose me properly

Before I left, I ran a half marathon through

Kole Kole Pass to a Naval Seal base

I also took some tests that got me credit

For a year of college

And a few months before took some classes

Which in combination, gave me

An entire year as transferable credit later on

So I never was a college freshman

I also had seen most the major tourist sites

Before I left the military

I got out in 5 weeks after talking to the CO

And I got an honorable discharge

This never happens that fast

Even with a dishonorable discharge

God was sure looking out for me

Duality Poetry A Man, Nothing More

Could a broken soldier be the same man

As a tormented artist and suffering writer

Whose sleep comes harder?

A soldier longs for home

An artist longs for something to hold

In a flash of the camera

A lifetime of experience

A pace that never lets up

A falter in the climb

The fire devours the heart

The heat consumes the poetry

A timid laugh

Shame and disappointment disguised

Too long a Soldier Artist

A pawn of no one

A disfunctioning wheel in the corporate machine

If only my mind would turn off

Like the light switch

Belief without doctrine

Names without distinctions

A word created man

A man uses words for the Creator

My heart may be an invention

But my art is not

In plain clothes

I don’t disguise my uselessness

Without personal transportation

Or protein that comes with a face

Too soon a Peasant Scholar

Like a Peasant

A soldier preparing for battle

Smelling a stench that burned the nostrils

I bravely entered into a little room

In the span of several minutes

Eternity passed five times

Alone in hell

I was paralyzed with fear

Compassion was never present

I left with an anger that could not be quenched

Prophet of God

Called to a sacred mission

The only one who could stop the tribulation

Taking the pain upon myself

The suffering of 3-1/2 years in a matter of minutes

The other half as a lonely wanderer

The sun came up and the wind became lively

One life sacrificed for billions of others

I was led by others to a place I did not want to go

Hitting rock bottom

Waking up in a room locked from the outside

My life began again I could not advocate for myself

Hours went by like weeks

Time was playing tricks on me

One freak in a million who lives by himself

This is truly something

Someone who dared to challenge society

To hold himself accountable to both reason and faith

Who challenges himself to create more intelligent pieces of art each time

Who expands to different disciplines as he breaks into one at a time

A happy child with control over his destiny I return to the joy of my youth

Now more thoughtful in word and action

A handicap that I struggle with daily

But without pain

Like a Soldier

Fighting all our lives

For just a moment in time

For that natural high

That reflective sigh

For that minute of silence

When the world stops

And you keep going

That sweet sorrow

Comes when we look back

Nothing will be repeated

A feeling that never ends

The moment will fade

But the silence I will keep

And the tune will play in my head

Humor comes in such surprising moments

But the pain lingers on and drags into hours

What will stop the deep sorrow

From penetrating my bruised heart?

We are most alone

When the other first closes the door

Pain is deeper than a bullet wound

When we have a sorrow that can’t be resolved

How do we fight

With just one step in front of the other?

Sometimes it is harder just to keep standing

We are not defeated when we fall down

Or fall short of our expectations

And death need not be a defeat

But that is not the worst fate

Some fight with paper

It is not how many balls that land in the trash

That measures their success

It is not the expected outcome

That foreshadows loss

Every moment we breathe with a sigh

That is how we know we are alive

Through the hours that never let up

We do our work with less and less hesitation

But it is not what defines us

It is in the all nighters

And the long evening talks

That we remember

Life’s Parallels

Setting down my protective mask

And logging off my workstation for the last time

My duty done

Someone else will save the world tomorrow

I heard God on the radio

Leaving the fantasy world permanently

The world is no longer a projection of my mind

I swallow the red pill

And wake up outside the protective matrix

I followed God through the start of the millennium

Sitting at a table in a local deli

The radio was on for the first time

Reality comes crashing down

Our nightmares are played on the black box in our living rooms

God kept me from sinking into my sorrow

Taking a good look behind

I see some of the past in my future

The old world that my ancestors came from is a news flash away

We are part of them and they are part of us

Time places no limits on God

What separates us from madness and violence is a very thin line

Other Poetry Commitment and Freedom

A perfectly made bed

And a perfectly pressed uniform

A hard run across the pavement

And push-ups on the living insect ground coverings

A breakfast of hard grits

And salty juice

A bleached protective mask

And a lubricated rifle

A rotating shift

With different days off every week

Are far from a perfect way

To get an edge on life

Running is the only freedom

When you are being put under combat stress

You’re only break is when you are in church service

When the drill sergeant is always breathing down your neck

Over 5 years later

Outside the grip of Uncle Sam

There is a calm deep inside

A feeling of silence never leaves

There is no reason to always be alert

There is no threat of attack

There is no one to make all your decisions for you

There is a freedom in being done with war

There is no allegiance that you have to die for

No commitment that might end your life

There is an excitement that comes

When you can go anywhere tomorrow

There is a contentment that comes

When you know you are working for peace

There is a way that you can relax

When you will not be insulted for slipping up

There is a confidence that comes

When you can plan your own day

War brings nothing good

And being done with it is the greatest relief

Why should we sacrifice

For decisions others have made?

What war ever brought less war to follow?

And when will they ever end?

Maybe if they stop enlisting

The Army will have to cease hostilities

Desert Mist

My eyelids are heavy as depleted uranium

My heart is burned with radiation

In a flash of the flares

And in the yellow smoke

My mind turns to my childhood

To others taken away

In the silent night

Fire-fights lit up the sky

One side obliterated in hours

Burning carcasses littered the desert

The Army goes rolling along

Over barricades at 40 mph

Pausing only seconds between firing

The young knights barely of age

Trampling the cavalry of years gone by

I dream of a time

When my boots were always polished

And my shirt ironed flat

Of fears lived

And hopes vanished

The god of war is steel

And the protector is a rubber mask

In danger I plead with logic

And critical time slips by

There is no escape

From the grips of Uncle Sam

This is a time

That I remember all too well

When staying awake

Is the least of your worries

When hitting the target is an empty goal

And clearing your rifle seems unimportant

There are times when you want to fly away

And now I can

But when you are in the middle of the beast

There is little you can do

Suicide seems rational

But that would bring little relief

When you hear “Gas! Gas! Gas! ”

Two and half seconds is not fast enough

Reflections on Soldiering

The room is glowing red

We are convulsing in the furnace

Within a crematoria though alive

We gasp for breathe as though drowning

Little chamber filled with fire

How long will we be locked within your walls?

Large beady eyes glare at us

Telling us to surrender our eyes to the flames

Behind the masks and beneath the suits

Our leaders show no sign of care

No understanding

Of the corrosive atmosphere

Bound within the gates of Hell

We are paralyzed with fear

After spending several ages in fire

The door is flung open

We are allowed out one by one

The burning gradually decreases

And we can begin to breathe again

But at any moment

We may be forced back in

Next time it will be longer

And there is no end in sight

Each day we spend in training

We lose a year’s memory

Our days before we went to war

Fade to be nothing more than a dream

There is no time to enjoy life or relax

When every waking hour must be devoted discipline

Our music is the orders of the Drill Sergeant

And our dance is the manual of arms

Our only realm for expression is in our dreams

And our only book is the Soldiers Manual

We believe in the claymore and in our protective masks

They are all that watch over us

We are free when we are running

As long as we are fast enough

How can I live any longer

With the threat of drowning in fire?

I never would have chosen this road

If I knew what war was like

If a POW camp is harder than this life

And combat is both more boring and more terrifying than training

How will I withstand the reality of war?

How will I become a soldier?

There are no more choices to make

After the one that got me here

There is no independence in the Army

There is no justice in what we do

How can we defend others rights

When we have none?

Drill Sergeant says I am now a soldier

That I have been transformed

That there is nothing but shame in turning back

That there is hope in what lies ahead

That I will not have to face the same realities

The others will have to face

But I for the first time understand fear

And I cannot trust anyone to save me

I am on my own with no one looking over me

Yet I have no freedom and no escape

I feel like an infant

I feel weak and powerless

But there is no guardian

There is no one I know

Dying doesn’t scare me

But the possibilities of suffering do

I see no meaning

Except in avoiding pain

There is no reason to live

And no protection except in death

Total Isolation

When you enlist in the Army

Your life is no longer your own

Joining is the last decision you make

Your intelligence is of no use

And your training a waste of time

There is no way you can get prepared

For a life without freedom

When you lived a life with

Choices for everything

There is only one way to march

One way to shoot a rifle

There is one way to make your bed

And there is only one way

To don your protective mask

There is one way to throw a grenade

And one way to dig a foxhole

There is no time to think about

Theories of war or the Geneva conventions

There is never a time when you

Can let your guard down

Your life is totally committed

You have your reasons for enlisting

But they matter less and less

Enlistment is a one way tunnel

And there are no stops or ways out

You can shoot yourself in the foot

But then your job will just be harder

You can follow your job to the letter

And yet be valued the same

As the biggest screw-up

You could follow directions exactly

And still get captured

The others fail you all the time

But if you ever fail them

The cost is enormous

If you fail to listen to instructions

You could be the next victim

Of the war on terror

You could pay attention to

Every last detail

And still end up needing to be

Identified by DNA

2.2.4 Considering Military Service?

I served in the Army and here are some of the things I found to be both good and bad about the military. I also worked with the other services too, so I know something about them.

Good Points

You can feel confident that you are doing something important and something that not everyone can do. You also feel like you are accomplishing something important. Remember, whether or not you agree with what the government has sent you to do, you are still being a great help. And you don’t have to feel responsible for what your country decides, because the military does not decide when and where to go in.

You meet some great people in the military that you will remember your whole life. They often have strong personalities and are not always friendly at first, but these guys will save your life even by sacrificing their own. The military does a background check on all recruits before they can join and checks for personality defects, by putting recruits through stress during initial training. 

Military service looks great on you resume and if you pick the right job you can get some very valuable training. Look into something that you can do that has a civilian equivalent. There are a lot of good engineering and mechanical related jobs that you can be trained in that will translate into good jobs when you get out of the military. 

Bad Points

Very few people get the college money they are promised. The government is not going to give you hundreds of thousands of dollars for college if they can avoid it, so they put many restrictions on it like you have to start within 2 years of leaving the military, you can’t change majors (unless enough of your credits apply to the new major), you only get it if you have an honorable discharge, etc. Going to college in the military is not usually an option, because the military is too understaffed to spare service members.

You don’t get paid that much during your service. In fact, if you have a wife and a kid and have a college degree, but want the military to pay back the money, you will be under the poverty level and receiving food stamps. You can also get an Article 15 for even very minor infractions, and be penalized with a hundred dollars taken out of your pay check and get a few weeks of extra duty every day. 

You might be expected to risk your long term health or life. There is a reason why they send you through a gas chamber, while you are in basic training in the Army, Marines, and sometimes in the Navy and Air Force and it isn’t just a right of passage. The countries the US fights have not signed the Geneva conventions and it it very common for them to torture prisoners and to use chemical weapons. Being exposed to chemical weapons like mustard gas and chlorine is like being burned by battery acid in your lungs and eyes. 

Recommend

Realize that the military is very stressful and if you are struggling with psychological issues or are a sensitive person of any kind, joining the military will just exasperate your problems and the military is not set up to do everything for you and take care of things if you can’t. 

First, consider if joining Americorps or the Peace Corps will satisfy what you are looking for. In Americorps, you help Americans in America, without the high risk of personal injury. You also have many choices on what you can do and who you work for. 

Look into joining the Air Force, if at all possible. The Air Force has few of the downsides that the other services have. The one downside to the Air Force is that it is hard to advance very far in rank, because people stay in so long. 

Choose the shortest length of service possible. It is very easy to be accepted back into the military for another enlistment, but very hard to get out, while you are still under your tour of duty. 

Join the Reserves or Guard first. There are some very interesting jobs that the Reserves and National Guard can do if you are willing to move to another state. If you really enjoy military life, you can very easily change to Regular enlistment, but it is much harder to go the other way around. 

When you have joined, always give 150 percent and be a team player all the time and you will avoid 99 percent of the problems most people encounter in the military. 

Specifics

If you are considering the Army or the Marines, go play paint ball and go camping with your recruiter; this will give you somewhat of an idea about some of the things you will do in the military. 

If you are thinking of joining the Navy, really think carefully what it might be like with a bunch of high school age kids on a little ship in the middle of the ocean. Find out exactly how much space you have and some of the things you might have to do there. 

If you have joined in the Delayed Entry Program and have changed your mind, it is very easy to get out and does not count against you in the civilian world or even to the other services. If you show up to your swearing in and shipping date, then it is very hard to get out, until your enlistment is up.

2.3 Transition 2.3.1 College Going Home

I am going home today

This home is like a dream

Away in the Army

For just over a year

I feel great excitement

And serious relief

Today is the anniversary

Of when World War 2 ended

I shall never forget today

August 15, 1997

Everything is surreal

And I do not believe

Anything is real

With the awesome release

I feel a failure

I did not serve my full tour

I did not know now

That I was mentally ill

Or that this was why

I was given a discharge

All I knew

Was my eyes burned

And I would have this condition

Indefinitely

I met people from my home church

And I heard of others

Triumphs and failures

I was introduced to a girl on the phone

Who was a few years younger than me

When we talked I realized

I had no hobbies or interests

I don’t know how it was for others

But the military life

Did not allow me time for leisure

Or maybe it was just the mind set

That I could never let my guard down

Or ever relax

I was told by my CO

That I should enroll in college

And I did so that fall

Community College

A few days

After I came back

I bought my first computer

I was going to major in business

So I bought a PC

I had saved 5,000 dollars

Of my military income

And I got 10,000 dollars

For college expenses

Because of my service

I realized that I had enough for tuition

But not enough for housing

So I stayed at my parents’ house

I did ok in calculus

I excelled in economics

But I had to take accounting

5 times to pass

I missed so many French classes

Because I was using the Internet

With the free hours from AOL

I started out researching my pink eye

But got diverted to finding

A different way to be Christian

Later on I would realize

That the answers lay in the church

I grew up in

Despite those attitudes were the ones

I was trying to escape

I didn’t study much

And slept as much as possible

As the pink eye never relented

That summer I took several required

English courses

And started my website

This was the first time

I was introduced to Postmodernism

Community College 2

I tested out of my first year in college

While still in the military

So I started out at Community College

In town as a sophomore

I had even got money from the Army

For college but the biggest financial aid

Came from not counting my parents income

Against me so I could get grants

Grants don’t have to be paid back

I had to live at home because I only

Had enough money for school

I started out with a Business Major

I took Calculus and Economics

I had a lot of trouble with Accounting

I took it 5 times before I passed it

I learned about Postmodernism

In my required English class

I hated Business but I was trying

To be practical about my major

I wasn’t able to study much

Because I was in so much pain

From the allergic pink eye

University

Not only did I have a Community College

In the town I grew up in

We also had a University

And there are several other colleges there too

Besides my business courses

I took History of Philosophy

And Chinese language course

Both these fell through

For different reasons

The philosophy course required

Weekly papers

And I missed the first

So I had to audit it

As I missed the deadline to withdraw

I stopped going as I thought

Socrates was a smart ass

In my Chinese class

I couldn’t learn as fast as they taught

So I had to drop out of it too

But I stayed in my Chinese Literature class

And I really enjoyed it

This is how I was introduced

To Chinese philosophy

That spring I had to find an apartment

And I switched to Linux

Cold turkey

After researching it for 6 months

I was trying to figure out

How to get Microsoft applications

From crashing

So I looked into programming

And all roads led to Linux

That summer I went back

To stay at my parents house

And I took summer courses again

For the credits I missed

During the school year

I took several electives

On was Existentialism

One was about Ecofeminism

I switched my major

To Journalism

Which made much more sense

As I have always been

Good at writing

I took business initially

As my dad recommended it

University 2

The next year I attended the

University in town as a Junior

I continued studying business

I took a Chinese Literature class

As my business breadth requirement

And I enjoyed it immensely

This was my first introduction

To Eastern Philosophy

I also started several other classes

But had to drop out

As I was still in so much pain

From my allergic pink eye

This was about the time

When I started my website

I had to move out that Spring

And lived in a fixed up garage</p>

For a few months

And this was when I first

Installed Linux

After reading about it for 6 months

My motivation was to try to

Fix Microsoft Office so it would

Crash less and all programming roads

Seemed to lead to Linux

I had to attend summer school

As I didn’t complete enough courses

I took an Existentialism and an Ecofeminism

Course that summer

As that was all that was left

This was my first introduction to

Existentialism

The end of that summer I worked

At a phone survey company

Previously I had tried selling

Long distance phone service

And doing canvassing for

Our local Public Interest Research Group

I changed my major to Journalism

I took a grammar course

And a graphic design for journalists course

As well as a class in mass media

And a philosophy course about Beauvoir

Someone told me she was the lover

Of Foucault which is not true

2.3.2 Journey Generations

Like Abraham’s call by God

So I believed I was called away

To another land

With my enlistment in the Army

Like Jacob’s wrestle with God

I started to fight with God

About why He allows suffering

During college

Like Moses liberating his people

From the land of the Pharaohs

So I was liberating from paranoia

After my stay in a psychiatric ward

Like Joshua leading his people

Into the land of Canaan

So I fought to stay as independent

And rational as possible

Like Israel under Solomon

God blessed my work and I flourished

In my writing and artwork

Then I lived like a prophet

In the wilderness of the retirement home

Fighting for justice

And feeling I lived in the shadow

Of many old people’s wrath

Now my desire for justice and freedom

Has been fulfilled with my return

To my own apartment

Like the Israelites came back to the land

After their years of captivity

Under the Assyrians, Babylonians, Persians, etc.

In my life I have lived many generations

Like being reincarnated

My situation changed each time

And my life was different at each stage

Clarity in Conviction, an Epic Poem

I am a rock crushed and beaten to dust

I am a clay jar wet with rot, pried and pulled to disfigurement

I am rushed by in shrieking winds of light

I am filled with void and darkness

I stand at the edge of human thought and reason, quivering uncontrollably

I am surrounded on each side

To the right, pain

And to the left, despair

Behind me, fear

And death alone stands before me

All was biting flames and smothering fog

Dancing and laughing sadistically

Drowning in this red hot furnace

I was bound and gagged with pure terror and relentless pain

Nothing existed but pain and terror

But for a single ray of light immortal

After eternity passed five times

I passed through the iron doors of night impenetrable

Still choking and burning on the rot and char within

Pain and not pain were all that existed

I am part of nothing

And nothing is part of me

Having rejected everything

And everything having rejected me

I am a man, a soldier

And nothing more

And madness did but all consume me

If not for many a labor of love

So once fully alone and silent still

I did let the sun shine in and heal the rot and char

Within the daily fears and petty tribulations that did haunt me

And in the midst of the multitudes busy

Did He, in the humble summer day breeze,

Find I to be wanting and unworthy

So in the cool of the day

With the entire continuum of time and space shuddering

Did my Savior present Himself

As the only worthy sacrifice

Obedient to even death, He did defeat

That which did seek to torment me most eternally

As God raised Jesus from the dead

From there I venture as a simple pilgrim, asking for directions as I go

Finding in the Word He had left me

A map to discern the directions to be trusted from that which should not be

At times outrunning my companions

And at other times standing almost completely still

I find clarity in the conviction of this truth

That God raised Jesus from the dead

And so I go ever on

As He walks humbly by my side

The living flame imperishable walking

To the pace of a mortal man

My companion, my Lord, as my real Father

He who created me is not yet finished

He turns the circle of life, the potter’s wheel

To mold my empty and disfigured thoughts into the pure and noble thoughts of His Son

Making me into the likeness of the real Son of Man

From the inside out

I am baptized in His Grace, so

That He can make me a new creation

Making me again with fresh clay and water

And filling the emptiness with His love and His peace

And now my eyes are more fully opened

And I now see the unending power and goodness of Christ within me and the truth of His Word all around me

I am no longer male or female, white or black, young or old,

But bought at the highest price and no longer my own

I now call myself after my master, Christian

He that I may serve and in so doing be free from my most eternal enemy, myself

And as the road goes ever on and on,

And I stumble along the way, from time to time

And as I return to the foot of the cross each day

And learn again why I cannot master myself

And I realize each time more and more

How amazing was that grace that saved a wretch like me

Spirits Follow

Alone in a crowd

All cramped in a tiny room

Locked in from without

All I could see is red

Shivering in torment

Like a doomed soul

Baptized in hellfire

Will they ever let me out?

Alone in my bed

All warm and well fed

A dark cloud rises from the vents

And shakes the window

My soul shivers

And I lay motionless

A wicked voice whispers

My worst fears

There is a danger that is greater than death

There is a fear greater than going mad

There are times when you wish you could hide

Under the shadow of the Lord

There is a way that you could escape

If you locate your enemy

Left hand betraying the right

Your heart revealed secrets to your mind

A dislocated soul

And a warped spiritual dimension

What sword can penetrate to the heart

Dividing the bone from the marrow?

Fighting for peace

Is a delicate struggle

When your home is booby trapped

And your foe looks like your friend

Nothing is sacred

And you are never really alone

After All These Years

The fight is still in me

And I still remember

Dreams of success

Adventure and excitement

What is easy to forget

Is the training

The pain and the struggle

To build strength of mind and body

I still focus on the result

But the process is equally important

A soldier struggles in each task

Of his necessary skills

The most important ones

Are the least glamorous

The hardest ones

He forgets easiest

The ones he never did

Are recalled most often

I can imagine parachuting

Over hostile territory

But the voice of the drill sergeant

Continues to fade over time

My protective mask

Is not my greatest defense

Now I rely on freedom of religion

And the uselessness of my work

I am still a soldier

But my pictures are my rifle

And my words are my bayonet

I am determined to build my body

To the level of my mind

But I now know

That it is equally hard

As the piles of books

I struggled to understand

There will be years of work

And I will fail for most of it

But one day

Everything will come together

And I will be stronger

To face my greatest enemy

My paranoid mind

And deluded consciousness

The Forest

My time in the forest was predestined

There was a reason for my forest years

But I was not cheated

And was not a victim of a petty game

The forest is a time of building character

And learning life lessons

I learned new ways to fight

I found weapons more powerful than a pen

The forest is filed with trials and traps

Mine were paranoid and obsessive compulsive

I feared things that are irrational

And was obsessed with the least important

I learned that play is as important as work

And that relationships with people are as important as ideas

I learned that I can survive things

Most people will never have to go through

The only way to learn is trial by fire

And the only way to live is with wisdom

God watches over me

As I am one of His children

And is ever ready especially in the deep forest

When it is common for the details to be violent

To help my character

As He writes the story of my life

With special powers I can do more good

The special power I want is to be normal

But unlike the epic hero

My forest journey is always with me

Because it is a part of who I am

And I am willing to go the distance

With my tribulations

If I can learn from each challenge

So that I suffer less each time

2.4 Having Schizophrenia 2.4.1 Introduction

Dealing with Paranoid Schizophrenia

Schizophrenia is a disease that encompasses a wide range of different problems, like the disease Cancer. Not all people with Schizophrenia hear voices or have paranoia. Paranoid Schizophrenia is the worst, by far.

Schizophrenia is caused by a stressful event, which is most often caused by the military, but only in people who have a genetic predisposition to the disease, which is hereditary, occurring usually only once in a generation. Drugs do not cause Schizophrenia, but can make it worse and harder to diagnose. Schizophrenia is caused by the brain not developing normally in adolescents. It affects the frontal lobe which is responsible for fear, anger, and other primordial emotions.

Men usually get diagnosed in their 20s and women in their 30s. The illness is generally not caught until there is a paranoid episode and medicine is usually not started until a (non-violent) crime is committed, as it is hard for a person to accept that they are out of their mind. Staying on the medicine regularly is the key to living a semi normal life. 1/3 of people with Schizophrenia just stare at a wall all day, one third are semi-independent, and 1/3 are almost fully independent.

There is a similar disorder that is less disabling called Schizoeffective disorder and people who have this disorder are often under the false impression that they have Schizophrenia plus Mania or Depression, and that they have a tougher time than people who ”just” have Schizophrenia. This is not true. Schizophrenia as a whole is much more severe than Schizoeffective disorder and Paranoid Schizophrenia is the most disabling mental illness, by a long shot.

Many people also are difficult to diagnose, because they have taken drugs before to self medicate. Also, many psychologists or counselor diagnose people and often give incorrect labels, because they are not qualified to diagnose. To diagnose, you must be a psychiatrist, not a psychologist.

A psychologist or counselor may have anywhere between a one year certificate to a doctorate in psychology. Most have a bachelors or a masters degree. A psychiatrist has a full doctorate in medicine, plus a doctorate in psychology, plus an internship, etc. Most psychologists have no training in mental illness at all.

I have Paranoid Schizophrenia and that is what 3 independent psychiatrists diagnosed me with, all whose interest would be best served if they didn’t diagnose me. Those who diagnosed me were: the admitting psychiatrist for a mental ward of a local private hospital, one working for the Social Security Administration and one working for the Veterans Administration. It cost them all a lot of money for their organizations to diagnose me, so my case is very well founded. Also, no one who was qualified to diagnose me ever thought I could have any disorder other than Paranoid Schizophrenia and I have never been diagnosed as anything else.

The first thing to get started, after being diagnosed with any major mental illness, is the medicine. This is even more true for Schizophrenia. There is no cure yet for Schizophrenia and it cannot be treated effectively by religion, diet, herbs, meditation or counseling alone or in combination. The primary treatment for Schizophrenia is a tranquilizer (also known as a sedative). The discovery was made in the early 50s that tranquilizers would blunt the voices, delusions, and paranoia.

Many people do not want to take the medicine, because of the negative side effects. This medicine causes tremendous and rapid weight gain almost always, as it numbs the nerves in the stomach, so you never feel full no matter how much you eat. Many people feel less creative with the medicine and feel that it is given just to get the person to follow orders better. The medicine can also cause diabetes, due to the high weight gain. The medicine also make people very tired and that is why many people who have Schizophrenia drink large amounts of coffee and other caffeinated beverages and smoke cigarettes.

There are some other common symptoms to Schizophrenia, that the experts have not been able to pin down to the illness or the medicine. These symptoms include: depression, lack of motivation, difficulty concentrating, difficulty with short term memory, lack of appropriate facial expressions, lack of emotion, etc. These are the most disabling aspects of Schizophrenia, for most people.

The other negative aspect is that most people with Schizophrenia receive money from Social Security Administration, which is much less than minimum wage and so they are often the victims of crime. It is also hard for people with Schizophrenia to make friends. Although it is common that someone is not treated, until they commit a minor crime like vandalism or stealing, people with Schizophrenia are not any more likely to commit violent crimes than anyone else. I have never committed any crimes.

Although medicine is the primary treatment, secondary treatments help with some of the other symptoms that are often the most disabling for people living with Schizophrenia. Some of these secondary treatments include revealed religions, especially Christianity, as it offers the most comfort and has the least amount of obligations of these religions. Counseling can be helpful, especially as obsessive compulsive behaviors/addictions are common with people who have a mental illness. I have never taken any drugs. Another good secondary treatment is to find a hobby or something constructive to do. Some people, who have Schizophrenia, can work a part time job.

2.4.2 Breakdown Jesus Won Paranoid Episode

I had been having some problems with spiritual warfare. I had written some stories that I merged my life with Middle Earth. I accidentally put myself under a Witchcraft spell. I walked out of my house that day with my Army jacket. I was ready for warfare. I rushed around downtown. I dropped off my books, that were loading me down in my pack, by the side of the street and an angel flew off with it. I went to the Church and knelt down before the crucifix and prayed to God to spare me. I took my web site off line with the offensive material. I saw ”Jesus loves you” engraved in the side of the street that I didn’t see before or afterwards. I saw a double rainbow when I went home.

I made an altar out of our fireplace. I piled in it all my Buddhist, Feminist, and Atheistic books and lit it on fire. I kept loading books in for several hours. Some that I was unsure about I took to the fire place and, if they survived the flames, I kept them. I tore down the Buddhist goddess of mercy down from the wall and our black cat meowed out side. He was in cohorts with the Devil. I threw in the plastic snake in the fire and commanded evil out in Jesus name and turned my back to the altar. I laid on my bed and weeped for the suffering of the Church during the tribulation. I saw a vision of Star Trek as the future. I started singing ”Joy to the World” as my eyes were moisturized with my tears. My eyes had hurt for 3 1/2 years before. They needed the salt they weren’t getting from flushing them out several times a day for that time. I looked down at my Bible. It was the Parallel New Testament. We were in a parallel time kept that way by people making the Bible into too many versions.

My parents put out the food for the homeless for the postman to deliver. They spoke to me in code that I was the homeless person this Christmas. I walked out of the house when my parents left. I stood on the porch walking back and forth. The radio dial spun out of control. Many years now went by.

I stood on the porch, until my parents came back. I saw them come back with the dog. I had to decide whether I was going to go out and marry my friend’s sister or go down to the Church to pray. I looked at my bank receipt and then put it in my pocket. I knew when I took it out again there would be enough for my marriage. I headed down the grocery store to buy a paper and look for a job. The paper had on it the story of how the world fell apart.

Only Eugene and Springfield were left. On the front page, they said we decided not to hire you (I had been interning down at the Comic News). I went down to the corner and saw the number to the Comic News on a sign. I tried to hang myself on the sign. I was unworthy.

I saw the parents of my friend whose sister I was going to marry aged years and they drove off angrily when they saw me. I should have gone down to marry her. I walked along the sidewalk. I knew I couldn’t go back home. Everyone had banned Christians from their houses. I looked for a sign. I picked up a wooden sign that said ”777 indoor sale”. It was a secret code. I covered up the Bible so the devil didn’t know about the parallel time as I walked along. I got on the bus. I shared to them that I was a Christian and I was kicked off the bus with a scornful look.

I saw the devil car pass by, all red with antenna on the top, like horns. I turned aside and continued quickly. I continued up to the church. I stopped, where two ladies were talking. All men were now kicked out of their houses. The world was controlled by radical feminists. I asked them, if I could go in where it was warm. I told them I was the prostitute. I asked if they were Christians. One lady tried to trick me into thinking that I should go to Eugene to the Mission. The other who was Christian told me there was a Bible study at the Church. It was the only one left. The other church had slipped into just doing good works and lost their faith. I came to the Church and I started to read my Bible.

I sat with my back to the world so no one could see the Bible. I picked a version and read it all the way through the book of John. It sounded a lot like Revelations. I was going to wait 3 1/2 years feeding off the Bible for food. I would have to wait for my sister as the only other Christian on earth. As I prayed I turned and saw the sky change color and sunlight came out and I was warm.

I was happy once I finished reading the Bible and knew things were ok. Everyone was racing into the city as they had been racing out before. Everyone was relieved. God played jokes on me with the signs to relax me. I was too tense. As I walked by now with the wooden sign up for everyone to see I smiled and yelled out ”777 Jesus won”. A motorcycle gang fled from me as I walked by with the police following them. The same police I heard before.

I returned to the store and picked up a copy of the newspaper. I showed a woman everything happened like in the paper. I also offered one to one of the bikers. I went back home and picked up the mail. All the letters were filled with the number 7. I went down to my friends house and dropped off the newspaper and the jam for the homeless person. I was accepted into the American Legion. As I walked down Main Street I noticed that the wind had blown away large clumps of trees and trash. The city was being cleaned up and there were red bows on all the city for me. I was welcome at any hotel.

I saw my parents and they picked me up.

Poetry My Breakdown

At the end of the winter semester

I had an emotional breakdown

I thought I was dealing

With spiritual warfare

I tore up my copy of the Second Sex

And I burned a bunch of my books

I thought I was a prophet

And ended up in the local

Private hospital’s mental ward

I tried to take courses that Spring

After I was released for several months

In programming and social science

But that didn’t work out

I started reading philosophy again

Starting with Existentialism

And Zen Buddhism

Along the way

I spent about a year in a group home

With 8 other mentally ill men

I spent a couple years in a retirement home

And had in home care a number of years

I now am completely independent

Descent into Madness

I now know the horrors exist

That are worse than we can imagine

I am now in constant pain

I carry in my eyes the unquenchable fire

The one that never stops burning

I am injured beyond repair

But my country says its not that bad

I cannot study for long

Nor can I concentrate

I manage to pass enough classes

By learning quickly and a good memory

I try to meet others

But I am too tired to extend myself

No one will hire me

Except for a phone survey place

I cannot work with chemicals

My eyes burn even worse in their presence

My paranoia continues to grow

I think I am growing a third eye

Spiritual warfare seems to make sense

But I end up in the hospital

And the doors lock behind me

I am now in Hell again

But only my mind burns

I cannot escape

But time passes by more quickly

I move out to the outside room

And am allowed to have some freedom

I go home

And continue to sleep for long time periods

I struggle to get on my own

And get acknowledged that I am ill

I struggle to read again

And am finally able to write again

Schizophrenia

When school let out that winter

I thought I was wrestling with

Spiritual warfare

But as I found myself

In the mental ward of a local hospital

I knew I was having emotional problems

I didn’t know until a month later

That I had Schizophrenia

My parents came to see my all day long

But I only remember them

Coming in the evening

I was explaining trigonometry

We were all afraid of one of the guys

He was big and not very nice

And he controlled the TV

I remember how excited we got

When we realized we could order

More than one of the food items

To one of the residents

My pastor came to see me

And said he could get me out

I knew better for some reason

I was so excited to leave the first room

Which they called Hell

And to go out into the next area

In the hospital ward

I remember we got to do

Group activities there

One guy showed me how to dance

I was hyper-religious

According to my psychiatrist

Who kept asking me if I heard voices

He didn’t introduce himself

So it was a few days later

Before I realized he was my doctor

I remember how hard it was to sleep

The dementia patients next door

Kept screaming all night

To get out

I had to under go an MRI

Which was very scary for me

But my mom was there for me

And I was given a mirror

So I could see out

When I left the hospital

I watched TV most of the day

And I slept a lot too

I finally decided to read and write

Which was very difficult at first

I was only able to

Write after 4 months

It was hard for me

To even ride across town

At first

I remember when I got back

From the hospital

I threw out

Everything sharp in my room

I was afraid to be alone

For several months

I started attending

A local recreation group

For the mentally ill

I also worked on learning Javascript

And eventually started

On my website again

Total Isolation

When you are committed

Even when voluntarily

There is no escape

From the terror

Your days pass by

With hours of no memory

The pain takes weeks

To lessen noticeably

You must stay in Hell

And there is no quick way out

You are not informed of your rights

But it would not matter

You still could never understand

You are not in your right mind

The doctor controls your fate

You can be sent to the state hospital

And never be released

Or get out in a couple weeks

You have no choice

What really scares you

Are others like yourself

You are all in the same boat

You cannot get out

Until you are scanned

You are crammed into

A small tunnel

And you cannot leave

Until they are done

You cannot see out

And they cannot give you

Enough tranquilizers to calm you

You want to return to normal

But you cannot work

For at least a year

Or you will never get

Your state pension

You have to wait another year

For low income housing

If you are lucky

You have family

Who can and will take you in

And who will do your paperwork

None of it starts until

You know about it and register

If you live on the street

You are stuck being homeless

And there is little hope

Of being able to get out

Group Home

That fall I entered

A group home

I shared the house

With 8 other men

With mental illnesses

And there was a staff person

There at all times

They basically ignored us

We had to clean and cook

All by ourselves

There was no help in this

They just required that we did this

The TV was always on VH1

And we had to leave the house

For at least 1 hour at 11am

I started volunteering

At a local Internet Service Provider

Doing tech support

I also volunteered at a local music hall

Taking tickets and checking IDs

We had to be in

By a certain time each night

And had to stay inside until

A certain time in the morning

They wouldn’t let me go to bed

Before a certain time

And I had to get up by a certain time

The reason why I was here

Was because I started out with only

200 and some dollars a month

From the state agency

And this was the only place that would take me

I visited my mom once a week

She was on the other side of town

And I got 20 dollars a week from her

Which I spent mostly on books

I kept writing poetry and reading

Mostly about Buddhism at this point

And I continued to work on the website

I started on a new medicine

Which made me less tired

When I was on the previous medicine

If I didn’t fight to stay awake

I would always be asleep

Then my money came in

From the Veterans

And I moved into my own apartment

2.4.3 Limitations Articles What is it like?

What is it like to not have control of your mind - to lay awake at night afraid of things that will never happen - to believe that your loved ones are against you - to not know the difference between what is fact and what is fiction - to fear the police will arrest you for how you were born - to not be able to handle the stress of meetings - to not be able to be consistently on time - to not be able to sit through a play or a movie - to find it stressful to listen to music - to not have the motivation to take care of yourself - to have to rely on others for your income?

Thought Control

I am very self-reflective and find meaning in every part of life. But I am not just a philosopher because many of my thoughts are not rational and I do not have control over my thoughts. I keep busy to distract myself from voices and paranoia. Quiet times like when I fall asleep at night are when my paranoia and voices are the most intense. When someone makes a comment in general and it could apply to me, I take it as a personal attack as I am suspicious that others are against me. It is impossible for me to still my mind enough to meditate.

Daily Activities

Not only do I not have control over my thoughts, but I find it impossible to take care of the daily activities that are necessary to survive in the modern world. I understand technology, philosophy, and can write and draw on a level that few can surpass, but I can’t wash my clothes once a week, clean my bathroom, recycle, or show up at a set time. The modern world is based on the clock and on facts and that is how we deal with other people in our society. This is completely foreign to my way of thinking.

Responses

I developed my own subculture, as I was unable to find my place in society. Basically, I have to find time to rest in order to deal with my illness, to avoid going back to the hospital. But even the rest can cause me mental pain: paranoia and auditory hallucinations. It would be good for me to have more interactions with people, as they help bring me into the modern world, but they also cause me a great deal of paranoia and many things they carelessly say cause me to suffer mentally.

Schizophrenia

This is the situation I am in, and modern science calls it Schizophrenia. I am very intelligent and good at writing and being creative, but this has nothing to do with Schizophrenia. Is a person with diabetes any different except for their illness? I am no different in that way too. I know many other people who have Schizophrenia and they are no more or less intelligent or think differently than anybody else.

Schizophrenia is a broad term like cancer where many different illnesses fall under the same umbrella. Some people with Schizophrenia can complete distance education or work a part time job, but I cannot. My main obstacle is dealing with time and facts - dealing with other people and taking care of my basic needs.

Why Cows?

Cows have been abused throughout history for labor, meat, milk, leather, and manure. The related words in Chinese are ”jail” and ”complain.”

Discrimination of the Mentally Ill

I identify with cows because I am mentally ill. The mentally ill have been the most targeted group of people for persecution, discrimination, marginalization, segregation, isolation, and more. Even as late as the 50’s people were locked up for being mentally ill and even today they still receive electroshock therapy against their will.

Personal Discrimination

I have been denied several volunteer jobs because they knew I was mentally ill although definitely qualified and have no criminal record nor have ever been institutionalized, I have not received federally mandated equal access to education which my only request that required effort from the instructor was oral test or test by paper, I have not been given a case worker because the county did not have any more available although I qualified, as a veteran I still have to travel hundreds of miles for dental treatment and have to pay for many medical expenses upfront, and to even get my disability I had to wait a year and a half which is not uncommon which if I worked in that time I would be disqualified, and I was not told about services available in my community and had to find them on my own.

Son of Strength

I have developed the idea of raising the bar, once I reach the level that was once my goal, for a higher goal and then on and on until I die. I think I reached rock bottom recently. I have developed the ability to understand philosophy despite having Schizophrenia and with it the near impossibility of understanding abstract thought.

Based on this insight, I surmised that I could do the same thing with my physical body. I would strengthen my will to the point that I could force my body to do what it couldn’t physically much as Special Forces do. The problem is that in the Special Forces, when the training is done, that at some point the service member gets to rest. They don’t tire out the service members to the point that they have no energy, before they drop them onto classified missions.

So for me to assume that I could will myself into mastering my body is a flawed assertion at best. But that was very arrogant to assume that I could reach that level of intensity, without having even attempting that kind of training. Anyway, when I came back from my run, which I was able to push myself past more pain than I was able to do in any of my cross country running, I tasted blood in my lungs and at the point when I got back to my retirement center, one of the managers thought I was having a heart attack.

This showed me that I need to slow down and be aware that although I can dream of saving the world, I do not have the energy to. In addition to never being able to feel fully rested no matter how much sleep I have had, I can’t push past it with greater mental strength, as I don’t even have the control over my mind as a normal person does. What the Apostle Paul said in Romans is at the heart of (Christian) Existentialism. We cannot do what we want to. We are not strong enough mentally to reach our goals. We must leave saving the world to God and just help in small ways or else we will not survive long enough to see the fruits of our efforts.

I have finally realized that having Schizophrenia is not just a mental illness; it is a physical one as well. If your medicine is being effective on giving you some control of your thoughts, then you will have no energy to do anything.

I have recently arrived at the conclusion that the increased suffering of the world recently is the direct fault of Christians not following what God has called them to do, and in response to the fact and because I am in the wealthiest nation on the earth and because of my gifts of intelligence and creativity that I should be able to make a measurable dent in the amount of suffering that the sentient beings of the earth must feel. But the problem is I don’t have the strength to have the reach that I believe I should have. Many of the problems of the world, if they are to be solved by people, need more resources than I have been given. I will just have to accept that there is some reason that God is allowing this to happen by conscious choice alone.

I have had to struggle with whether to say I believe that God raised Jesus from the dead and that he was both man and God or that that is a fact. I have recently come to understand that belief is stronger than facts. Similarly to how I said when we had to mark opinion as false and fact as true that opinions could be truths but facts are not consequential enough to be truths. So it shows more certainty to say that I believe in Heaven and Hell than to say flatly that there is a Heaven and Hell and that is the truth whether you agree with it or not you will go to one, because of course its true to the limits of my knowledge which is all I can guarantee by saying it is the truth, but to say I believe something to be true means that I haven’t just proved it intellectually, but it is so true that I risk eternity on it.

Poetry Frustration

Struggling to lift the heavy lids

My eyes burst open

And I stagger to the other room

With immense effort

I live in a dream within a dream

My paranoia within God’s thoughts

My will is strong

And my spirit unbreakable

But my mind only controls

Some of my thoughts

And my body is weak

And continually asleep

My burden is not light

As Jesus said for those

Who walk with Him

And its shadow is ever before me

When your mind cannot cease

From racing at full speed

And your body is heavily sedated

Everything is a battle of will

And your spirit pushes your body

My heart is pressed on all sides

By my unquenchable emotions

And unmovable flesh

But my heart is still wild and unwavering

How will I complete the contest?

How many years will this situation last?

When you are dead tired

And you are nowhere near the finish

You must slow down and keep going

When you would much rather lie down and die

How will I summon the energy

Without the strength of mind or body?

Will I be able to survive by spirit alone?

Do I know how to achieve solely by will?

Each day we wake up and begin

Before even thinking about “what next? ”

But at night we worry over

What has and hasn’t happened

If only my spirit could know the rhythm

And my will the attitude

That can harmonize with the Way

And outlast the disease

We can only hope

And pray without ceasing

Naked Mind

Like a devout monk

My mind operates

In transparency and nakedness

As there are no obstructions

Between me and my feelings

For others they see life

Through filters

To keep their minds

From every emotion

That flies by

For me I am naked

And there is not

Even a thin white robe

Between me

And the thoughts

That race by

I feel deeply about injustice

And people hurting others

For any reason

I struggle to be balanced

And to keep my mind clear

Of the paranoid conclusions

My mind makes from

Reflection on the situation

I have to guard my mind consciously

As the normal controls and safeguards

Are not present

2.4.4 Religion Frustration

Struggling to lift the heavy lids

My eyes burst open

And I stagger to the other room

With immense effort

I live in a dream within a dream

My paranoia within God’s thoughts

My will is strong

And my spirit unbreakable

But my mind only controls

Some of my thoughts

And my body is weak

And continually asleep

My burden is not light

As Jesus said for those

Who walk with Him

And its shadow is ever before me

When your mind cannot cease

From racing at full speed

And your body is heavily sedated

Everything is a battle of will

And your spirit pushes your body

My heart is pressed on all sides

By my unquenchable emotions

And unmovable flesh

But my heart is still wild and unwavering

How will I complete the contest?

How many years will this situation last?

When you are dead tired

And you are nowhere near the finish

You must slow down and keep going

When you would much rather lie down and die

How will I summon the energy

Without the strength of mind or body

Will I be able to survive by spirit alone?

Do I know how to achieve solely by will?

Each day we wake up and begin

Before even thinking ”what next? ”

But at night we worry over

What has and hasn’t happened

If only my spirit could know the rhythm

And my will the attitude

That can harmonize with the Way

And outlast this disease

We can only hope

And pray without ceasing

FAQs Is there an effective treatment of Schizophrenia without medication?

Schizophrenia was not treated effectively by society until anti-psychotic drugs were created from sedatives in the late 1950’s. The medication has been modified to remove most of the sedating attributes by the first part of the 21st century, so that many people with Schizophrenia are able to live outside institutions. Anti-psychotic medications are able to blunt the effects of paranoia, delusions, and hallucinations enough, so that people can distinguish between them and reality. But there is not a medication that will completely eliminate those symptoms or the lethargy that comes either from the mental illness or as a side effect of the medication. To help deal with remaining symptoms, religion in moderation can be helpful. Religion can provide stability, answers, and useful ideas for secondary treatments.

Why is religion rejected by psychologists in their treating mental illness?

Many hallucinations, paranoid thoughts, and delusions have religious components to them and sometimes the rituals of religion can contribute to Obsessive Compulsive behaviors. This shows that there is a relationship between religion and mental illness, but it doesn’t mean that religion in all its aspects does nothing but hinder the treatment of Schizophrenia.

Can an atheist apply ideas from religion into their treatment?

One of the reasons why I incorporate Chinese philosophy into my treatment of Schizophrenia, is because although the Bible tells a person how to live ethically and how to have an appropriate relationship with God, it doesn’t tell you everything you ever need to know. Not all problems are entirely spiritually based. A person can definitely learn how to think rationally without using the Bible, but to get the full comfort from religion, faith is a vital component.

2.4.5 Counseling The Appointment, an Epic Poem Waiting

I walk in and sit down

I am there a half hour early

I pull out my magazine

I finish it in ten minutes

I began to think

My mind starts to wander off

How will I interpret the psy babble?

How will I stupefy my ideas?

I keep looking up

As I hear what could be sounds

Will he repeat the same ideas again

Or will I get some gem of useful thinking?

A calm passes over me

I can survive without him

The room is cool

And it is bright outside

What a nice day

It took me an hour to get here

I had to take the bus

Then walk a half a mile

It is always easy to think on the bus

When people aren’t making annoying sounds

And walking always makes me feel good

At first, before I start questioning my every action

Last night it took a while to fall asleep

But it was early when I laid down

I woke up early and still felt tired

The sun wasn’t even out yet

I watched some news

I looked up - I missed the sunrise

I remember now about my chi

I wonder if he will like that

It must seem strange to a doctor</p>

How people could know so much before science

How they used food for medicine

How doctors eventually became politicians

And how complex the diagnosis could be

When everything boiled down to either yin or yang

Preparation

Good - he’s not in the office yet

Don’t need another one of those

So much paper work

I wonder if I really need to give him this test

Like I’m going to come up with a different diagnosis

I wish I could get this damn computer to work

I guess I’ll have to call the maintenance guy tonight

No test today, I guess

Is my tie straight?

He probably doesn’t even care

Where is my coffee?

I guess I’ll have to call up my receptionist

Bring me up my cappuccino!

Thanks

Will I take wifey out to the opera tonight?

I hope I still have the tickets

She probably already found them

And has bought a new dress for it

I can finally sit down

Gee that was a long weekend

Why does my daughter always ask for money

Right at first?

I wonder what job she will get with a major in dance

And when will she actually start

She is going to be 25 before she starts again

At this rate

I forgot to polish my shoes

Not again!

I hope I get some wealthy clients

When I can only charge them 100 an hour

I can barely pay for my SUV

And second home on the beach

I think I hear the client

I should greet him

No, that would be unprofessional

Come in, now

I’m ready to see you

Hot and Cold

Like the crests of the ocean waves

My emotions rose and fell

As he tried to comprehend my ideas

And I sought to apply his suggestions

Like the calm of the lake

I kept an inner confidence

Not merely a master of intellectual wit

But one who has the benefit of powerful experiences

Like a river high in the mountains

I am always near my source

Speaking rapidly and in sudden bursts

I exude a passion for my case

Like a salmon tasting sea water for the first time

I interpret my background in new ways

Each sentence never spoken before

Each thought given a new life

And each idea connected differently

Than even the session before

Like the taste of French fries

The conversation had a familiar flavor

Addictive and satisfying

There was a depth opened up by a true desire

The darkness clear as day

By the light of knowledge

And a peace illuminated

The mystery of the night

For in the middle of my winter

I burned inside like an ember

Like the heat of the midday sun

Blood hot and palms sweaty

This was another time

Where I was really there

In the heat of the conversation

From my heart came laughter

And I was truly happy

A cold resilience

And a warm character

Both analytical and creative

I seemed unsure of which direction

Should I go

A deep set fear and a hearty laugh

Each aspect showed up the other

Black and White

My voice soft and child like

My inexperience showed through

Like my bright blue bow tie

And my beaming smile

I was outspoken and competent

But inside I felt to soft and easily swayed

I try hard to not be self-conscious

To be nothing if not proud

Of my pear shaped figure

And my big feet

Black and white

Red and blue

I am consoling yet firm

Sympathetic yet bold

What am I to make

Of this deafening quiet

And silent screams

With each word I say

He expands to a paragraph

With each inflection of my voice

His mind is stirred

He is interesting and dynamic

Trapped yet freeing others

What can I say

To one who already has the answers?

If he could just listen to himself

And remember my main point

That it is not a race for an answer

But rather a way of sitting

Not a method of thinking

But a way of seeing

A new twist on his broad background

An open window into his soul

A silence in his racing mind

A soft touch with a strong hand

Something to blend the fire and water

That consumes his heart and mind

Other Poetry Taming the Mind

Waves lap at the edge of my mind

The interior is a vast expanse of sand

Torn by raging waters

And rugged mountain peaks

It is anything but calm

This is not the sound of silence

Messages fly like carrier pigeons

Familiar with the terrain

The ravens out fly the pigeons

The buzzards peck at the fallen ones

Overgrown brush covers the mountains

And the ocean is covered in algae

Voices from far away echo off the mountains

Voices from within get muffled by the vegetation

Dark clouds cover the sky

And settle down like a mist over the rivers

Lightning bolts across the sky

And knocks the ravens dead in their tracks

Stunned, they fall below

And become entangled in the flora

A thought travels across the expanse

Self awareness occurs

Swift and majestic an eagle soars

Crying out thoughts from the heart

The mist lifts and little villages become visible

The people burn back the overgrowth

Fish team up in the ocean and finish off the algae

The waves subside and gently rock the fishermen’s boats

The people build roads that connect the villages

They send out horses to hurry the mail along

Farms now occupy the land where there once was desert

The rivers are directed to irrigate the land

The natural chaos is contained and settled

Their is freedom from random deaths

Each thought now travels in a caravan

With guards patrolling all sides

The eagles still patrol the skies

And the buzzards clean up the fallen ravens

The inhabitants for now have tamed the land

But whenever the sky becomes dark

They remember what it was like to be isolated and alone

Heaven and Earth

There is a rhythm that exists

Deep inside your spirit

When all you hear is breathing

And your mind is all alone

Thoughts take flight

And you see nothing

Returning the power to Heaven

And the ten thousand things

Follow your mind

Liberation is a subtlety

And freedom comes from control

The hierarchy reflects nature

And the order is transparent

Within an instant

Everything fades away

The mind is ruler

And the body follows

When the mind is empty

The body is fully alert

With each breath

Heaven takes more territory

And the Earth longs

For heaven’s leadership

A unity exists

When Heaven is patriarch

And his rule is sage-like

And shows perspective

The Way leads to your heart

And is illuminated by your breath

Heaven leads the Way

And each member settles in

For a long peace

And a stable rule

The Way is narrow

When your mind is a casualty of war

It broadens

As Heaven is seated on your throne

My Experiences with the Mental Health Establishment Not a Good Day

June 6th, 2006

Today was not a good day. I was the victim of an abusive mental health worker. I have experienced the same thing, with many other people, who work with the mentally ill. They assume that they are always right and the consumer is always wrong. I continue to have to hold my tong and not say how I feel out of fear of retaliation, but they say whatever they feel like, regardless of my feelings and no ones stands up for me. The workers bring up very divisive topics, like politics and religion, and usually say some very negative things about Christianity. Then, when I try to respond, they say I can’t talk about religion or politics. Basically, they are saying only their opinion counts. What I believe is not important, because I was born different than them. I was even told be one of the managers that I know more about mental illness than they do.

Typical Conversation

”What is Buddhism all about? ” Aside: I only have time for a one sentence answer, but I won’t communicate that to you

”Well, first of all, Buddhism is a form of atheism and is nihilistic. In Buddhism all deities are illusions and...” Aside: Why are they giving me a blank stare? They must not comprehend, but are unwilling to ask the needed question.

”I need help with my VCR; you are good with computers” Aside: I don’t understand him but I don’t want to look stupid, so I am just going to cut him off, in mid-sentence.

”Actually I don’t know much about VCRs. What is your problem? ”

”I can’t get the TV back on.”

”Just hit the input button or tv/video button several times, until you see the TV show.”

”I don’t know how to do that.” Aside: I am not really listening to you because I don’t want to learn how to do anything new. I would rather depend on other people, to fix my problems for me.

”I can hit the button for you then, but watch so you can do it next time.” Aside: I just explained it to you. I guess you weren’t even listening.

”I am so busy with work that I need you to do that for me, but I won’t be around.” Aside: I have no intention of doing that. That would be learning and that scares me.

”Ok.” Aside: I wonder what she does at work. All I see her do is talk to the her co-workers and play games on the computer

Resolution

I am no longer going to answer any questions about philosophy to anyone who hasn’t first read through Philosophy Core curriculum and answered the questions at the end. Then after looking at the answers, I can tell if they are serious about studying philosophy. Then I will have them read books from the Recommended Reading List and I will answer questions about the books, only after they have read them. The Philosophy Core is based on my reading from 165 mostly classical philosophical texts and my conversations with people of various levels of education over a period of 7 years. I have finally simplified and explained it to the point, that if a person cannot understand it, they are most likely not making the effort, second most likely, they need to learn how to read better, or else they don’t have the ability (the third possibility is very rare).

Chapter 3

Art and Ecology

by Ben Huot

3.1 First Things 3.1.1 Logo

I should explain what the logo is meant to be representing. The guy is a pen, which is me, which comes from my first poem in Philosophy Core, called Creative Process, where I refer to myself as doing Tai Chi, with my pen being my body. The idea is based on “the pen is mightier than the sword” so I created “the Bible is mightier than the pen”.

The Bible is shooting out flames because in Ephesians it talks about spiritual warfare and the Bible is the only armament that is offensive. (It means offensive instead of defensive. These are common terms used in combat. The sword is the only spiritual weapon. All the other armaments expressed in Ephesians are protective and defensive in nature like a shield, a helmet, a breastplate, etc.) The flames are meant as in James when it talks about being purified by fire or struggles with temptation in our lives. Isaiah also was purified by a live coal to his lips by a Seraphim. So the usage of fire is not evil or anything violent. Think of it as purifying.

I would ideally like it to show the sword turned inward to his chest, symbolizing like in many fantasy books that when they defeat the great evil force in the world, they are left with the greatest task, which is to defeat the evil within. The Bible is said to be a 2 sided sword, with the ability to cut between bone and marrow, and show the truth. Christ’s tongue is said to be a 2 edged sword in Revelations, to defeat the Devil with. The reason I didn’t show this is it looks like he is committing suicide.

The spiritual warfare is not against people, ideas, or even spirits. It is about fighting for the purity of our own minds. It is an internal thing. Like the Native American proverb “my greatest enemy is myself.” This purity is in regard to our own sins and does not refer to purity in any other sense. But this is a process, not an outcome, as it is not possible for us to live without sin.

This warfare is only spiritual in the sense that it is not militant, social, economic, or political. This is for my own moral and ethical development and consists of practical qualities I try, with Christ’s help, to cultivate like humility, compassion, kindness, and seriousness and do not correspond to anything supernatural.

3.1.2 Other Books

My text books and picture books contain most of my work over the past 10 years. These include my reading of some 235 books containing the philosophical and religious thinking of the worldÕs cultures for several thousand years and the application of the main themes of some of the major Old Testament Prophets and major works of the New Testament.

The main point of this work is to get people to stopping living their lives with their minds, but instead follow their hearts. I bring a radically different combination of viewpoints that you have not heard of before. I am not asking people to follow what I have written, but rather let the words stir up some sort of emotional response in your heart.

I challenge my readers to come up with their own unique ideas and that can lead the world in a new direction. We need a much broader diversity of ideas in our culture to deal with the problems we are facing in America and throughout the rest of the world.

3.1.3 For More Information

For more books and information, visit me on the web at http://benjamin-newton.com/

Feel free to send me e-mail regarding the books and website at mailto:ben@benjamin-newton.com I even enjoy constructive criticism

3.1.4 Cover Graphic

3.1.5 License

This entire PDF is licensed together under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License as a whole, and nothing is to be separated, added on to, or modified in any manner.

Clarification on what no derivatives means:

No changes may be made in any way including but not limited to:

the material content and design must be copied as a whole (everything contained in this pdf file)

1. with nothing added

2. without anything taken away

must be kept in its original form with no additions or subtractions to

1. file formats

2. HTML and CSS code

3. PDF files

4. graphics and movies

5. sounds, music, and spoken word

6. interactivity and flash

7. file and directory structure

8. filenames and directory names

9. links

10. distribution method

3.1.6 Introduction

On review of my 8 academic books, I have found that 2 major themes appear: my love for literature, music, and art and my love for nature and animals. I love both for the same reason: they are creative works of God and man. I enjoy creating myself and I love talking about beauty, so these are natural interests. These are also 2 things that are lacking in our postmodern world and things the traditional world excels at. To highlight these themes, I have taken most of my writing about these 2 topics to form this new book, Art and Ecology.

3.2 Art Poetry 3.2.1 Mystical Poetry Poetry is Beyond Philosophy

There is a peace

That defies explanation

And not knowing

Is different than unknowing

To be free from study surpasses

A concept that defies definition

To be done with something

And on to something else

Is better than ending without starting

There is a way without effort

And there is a way that is just easier

Accomplishments are never easy

But plans and direction are limiting

With one hand on the pen

And the other turning a page

You can learn only so much from reading

You must finally set down your books

There is a reasoning that is not rational

Understanding that is more than description

To not debate and just accept

To keep from giving answers

But that which doesn’t fight

Is the better way for peace

There is more to life than solving problems

There is life without being constructive

We do not always need a code

For there to be ethics

There does not need to be a reason

For praying to God

With each letter

It is ok for there to be just one meaning

Complexity doesn’t need a theory

Creation does not need Science

We can act without explanation

And understand without being able to recite

We go on the journey

Without knowing the destination

There is a way beyond the way

Poetry supersedes philosophy

Tradition topples the modern

Instruments can give more sounds than voice

When you seek a another path

Maybe any path is wrong

You can seek eternity

But can you realize you are already there?

There is an emptiness that is still doctrine

And a freedom that has restraints

But what if you acted better

Before you discovered rules

There is more to right and wrong

Than opposites interrelated

To forget the knowledge of evil

Is better yet

There is a wisdom that surpasses man

And a foolishness that surpasses wisdom

We may achieve greatness amongst the mortal

But everlasting life is its own reward

Sometimes questions lead to more

Than just answers

There is a wisdom that is not sought

Knowledge is not the greatest gift

Attitude cannot be changed by study

Few change their mind due to argument

There is a reason few people read

And why happiness does not come from knowledge

There are ways to do things without thinking

But can you think without doing

Which is greater: Freedom or morality

But there is no reason to choose

When you can create without rules

And grow without sharing

You are more than just a sage

You are a poet

When You are Ready

It is not always about right and wrong

It is not about a new way of seeing

It is not for our self improvement

Is is not for self discovery

It is not an investigative method

It is not a way to improve the economy

It is a way not to punish others

It is not a method of instruction

It is not a belief system

It is not for the benefit of others

It does not solve problems

It does not offer anything new

It does not offer a way to make money

It has no constructive use

Life is not all about accomplishments

There does not need to be a reason for poetry

When you are not focused on solutions

Or focused on getting something done

When you need a break from work

Or are told to take vacation

When you see a psychologist

Or when you are on daily medicine

When you have enough money

Or when you have no bills unpaid

When you need no encouragement

Or when you have enough self-esteem

When you are ready to retire

Or when you get sick

There could be many reasons

That got you to this point

But only one reason to continue

For the sake of beauty

For the sake of the moment

When there are words for the feeling

But they don’t fall in order

When you can’t think of what to draw

And have no ability to visualize

When you are ready

Poetry has always been waiting for you

Art of Interpretation

Creativity is about possibilities

Art is about expressing feelings

It is not meant to duplicate reality

But to illustrate emotions

Art is an interpretation of reality

Art is poetry in color

Artistic taste is not the same as ethics

And there is no right response

The observer completes the work of art

The subject makes the object real

Art is an experience

Not just a creation

With each brush stroke

The image becomes clearer

With each wash

The image becomes more vivid

The artist projects their consciousness

Into the symbolic object

The work of art

Is the reflection of the subject in the object

The right time to create

Is when you are passionate

And passion comes from reflection

The reflection is about experience

And book knowledge prepares us for experiences

When you need to feel free

Work through your frustrations on the canvas

The value is in the subtlety

That the artist gives to their project

3.2.2 Musical Journey Value of Music

A movement without form

Far purer than poetry

A unified understanding

Of science and religion

We strive to go deeper

To remember before

We first heard any sound

This movement unites

Our heart and our spirits

It brings beauty unspoiled

By logic and reason

It is a method of learning

The highest form of religion

It is the same

In the east and the west

It is the essence of creation

It is our final hope

We reach out to it

As mere children

And respond to it

In meaning and in action

It is the language

Of our mind

It is the inspiration

That drives us to think

It is the vision

Of our imagination

It is the foundation

Of freedom and expression

Inspiration

When I close my eyes

There are countless patterns

When I fall asleep

Symbols come alive

There is a calmness

That our minds sometimes

Find by accident

A certain balance of chemistry

In the human brain

That drives us to action

There is a feeling

That we cannot ignore

There is a sound

That keeps company

With silence and emptiness

There is a magical experience

When our memories flow

In waves of water and wind

From thought to belief

From hearing and from smelling

Our laughter awakens

In each moment

We stop working

The joy of silence

Overwhelms the spirit

With each step

Through the garden

We create a path

And in each stride

We come together

We cannot count

Past our age

In the middle of the room

There is always space

To dance and sing

Vigor and Completion

I cannot remember

The note before

I write it down

I cannot stop

My mind from smiling

When I think

Of new words

The time for finishing

Has come and gone

Where is meaning

Without necessity?

What is a solution

Without a beginning?

When will we learn

The beat of the guitar

And the notes of a drum?

Why do we write music down?

Why do we stop listening

When the music is finished?

Why do we start songs

We can’t finish?

When there is a reason

There is still hope

When there is a new chorus

It is time to sing

I reach out to the sky

But I can only

Run so far

3.2.3 Music of Heaven Tones of Creation

The vibrations

Of stringed instruments

Is how the universe

Exists in time

For each frequency

There is a different

Realm of existence

When we create music

We harmonize with

The many worlds

Of divergent realities

We can experience

Higher planes of existence

In the music of the spirit

We can feel the state of time

Differently at each tone

Musical note patterns

Correspond to levels of existence

We invoke the attention of God

When we create pleasing tones

With a heart of humility

In each rhythm

We elevate our minds

To a different aspect of creation

To a parallel world</p>

Of spiritual blessings

Law of Music

Music is behind

Our every joy

Our every action occurs

In the backdrop of sound

The harmony we experience

With our creator

Is musical in nature

How we see life

Is music incarnate

Everything we feel

Has a unique note

Every aspect of creation

Has a musical equivalent

In art and poetry

In sculpture and ceramics

Our hearts beat

To the pulse of a drum

With a sense of music

We are balanced

In health and in spirit

In every activity

Their is a splash of melody

With each breathe we take

We can hear a song

If we are attune

To the workings of the Spirit

Nature’s Symphony

As we experience

The natural world

We perceive that ever aspect

Has a harmony

And a corresponding melody

The water plays a song

It flows to a specific beat

The sky is in tune

With the movements of the clouds

The trees wave to a frequency

At the rate of the wind

In each step we make

Into the realm of God’s art

All of His creation

Reaches out to us

As a luxurious sound

A music without set notes

A kind of jazz of the heart

A way of seeing

That is more vivid than shouting

And at a tempo that is more regular

Than that of a marching band

We keep to ourselves

The joy of being an instrument

Of the orchestra of the Lord

When we do not express

The great music we live by

Plush Music

I can hear the tapping

Of a stuffed cow’s hoof

To the beat of an

Imagined rhythm

With each step he takes

He lets out a sigh

Which I hear as

The strumming of a guitar

The whole herd

Moves in great concert

Of a living orchestra

Each note is timed

To the perfection of eternity

The joy contained within

Those little hearts

Of fabric and softness

Can shatter my pride

Into ten thousand pieces

The melody of their songs

Elevate me to a higher level

Of spiritual fruits

In every waking moment

And even in the depths of sleep

They create movements of music

Greater than the length

A runner completes in a marathon

3.2.4 The Value of Hope Metaphor of Christ’s Return

Millions of hooves

Beat the ground

In unison

The riders are angelic

With white fabric

Draped across their bodies

The Lord Jesus Christ

Leads the soldiers to battle

He is afraid of no one

His gaze sees through your soul

He has defeated the dinosaur

With a two-sided sword

All the red flesh is fallen

Into the rivers of blood below

The dragon’s wings are clipped

Like a pet parakeet

The evil monsters

The crypto dinosaur fish

And the King Kong

Who have special powers

Beyond the laws of physics

Were thrown into

The molten lava lake

That flows for all eternity

The unfaithful corporations

Whose stocks are worthless

Their offices vacant

And their business looted

Are bankrupt for eternity

With their board of directors

Along with the investors

Locked in prison

For crimes against humanity

There are no technology privileges

Or any legal defense

For all eternity

Jesus Christ is our CEO

Our commander-in-chief

And our pastor

Sketch of Heaven

A singularity formed

There was a big bang

And the universe

Was created again

There is a celestial city

Where suffering is no more

The fountain of youth

Is open to everyone

The city is on a hill

It glows like a polished mirror

Fit for a giant telescope

And having the value

Of countless Hope diamonds

The wall is as high

As the tallest skyscraper

Angels like US Marines

Faithfully guard

Each of the dozen gates

The city plan

Is square in shape

The wall is of vivid green jade

And the city is

24 karat gold

The foundation is made

Of the Crown jewels

The gates are

Mother of Pearl

The street is clear

As drinking water

The lights are always on

And the energy source

Is God Himself

The roadways will

Always be open

Only good, ethical people

Will be there

A river of water

As pure as from a glacier

Flowed down the main street

There was a fruit

For every month

The leaves of the trees

Brought peace between

The races of people

3.2.5 Complexity Poetry Sources

My sources of inspiration

Are a web of relationships

Which cannot be numerated

In any kind of list

Books give me direction

And my experiences give me vocabulary

But the Holy Spirit

Is my muse

This is an oversimplification

Because I cannot track the source

Of each line of verse

Or how the topic came to be

All I know is how I feel

And what I want to communicate

The words come in a stream

Sometimes faster than I can type

But understanding my method

Would drive a person mad

Even understanding where I come from

Is quite a feat

What is important is the message

And hopefully nothing obscures the meaning

I take responsibility

For the errors

And God deserves credit

For the good points

Creativity

I reach but cannot grasp

I struggle but it never gets easy

The answers are numerous

But the question is singular

I simplify as much as possible

But some things are just complex

With a pen in one hand

And writing on my heart

My mind spins without ceasing

And my body shifts slightly

Where the light is bright

You cannot see

But even in the dark night

You can make out some things

You can know too much

And things can be too easy

Without struggle

There are no rewards

And without a path

There is no destination

I can change my mind

But I cannot change the world

Sometimes we think too big

And miss what is right in front of us

It is not that things are too complex

But that we expect them to be too easy

Big things can be divided into smaller things

And schedules can give meaning to lengths of time

We cannot expect to finish

What we have never started

We cannot expect to surpass

The skill of the ancients

We can invent something new

But to solve problems

We need to use our creativity

To keep under the radar

There is a way to change things

Without violence or patience

But we must think

In our own space

And not wait for others

To come on board

Organization

As numerous as

The needles of a Douglas fir

As irregular as

A guerrilla army

Each aspect is unique

And each discipline distinct

They come together

Like the organics in an ecosystem

Each plays their part

And each element is essential

A projects has its limits

A website can only be so big

There are not just theoretical boundaries

But practical ones as well

Complexity is easy to create

But difficult to manage

Simplicity is difficult to create

But easy to manage

Plan when you are small

And grow in a pattern

Focus is the key to being understandable

Consistency is the key to being clear

Write with discipline

Draw with intent

Organization is easy

When the components have similarities

Separation is easy

When the pieces are different

Management is intuitive

When you understand your field

Public speaking does not frighten people

When they know their audience

Creating and organizing

Must be done simultaneously

Creation must be done

With thought to the completed project

Organization must be done

With creativity in mind

3.2.6 Cultural Patterns Enlightened Literature

It would be better for us

To be fascinated with literature

From the major cultural centers

Of the Asian continent

Instead of digging up

Places the ancient cultures

Worshipped false gods in

And slaughtered in their names

We seem to think ancient

Greece was civilized

But no culture can compare

To the humanity of China

Their entire system of government

Was based on a subsistence economy

They didn’t try to make

The rest of the world into subjects

Like the Europeans did

Leaders were encouraged

To study ethics, poetry, and history

People were promoted

Based on their character

And their education

Rather than by force or fraud

China’s weakness is that it

Wasn’t violent enough

To stand against the Europeans

What if that were the worst thing

They could say about America?

What a wonderful culture

Art Museum

I approach the museum

From the front

Walking across sidewalks

In an open grassy area

Flanked on 2 sides by

Old brick buildings

With moss planted on the walls

The carvings on the front

Are ornate and abstract

The building is well kept up

I walk up several cement stairs

And I go into the lobby

There is a series of stairs

Behind swinging glass doors

I pay and get my badge

I assume this is some way

Of tracking me by radio waves

I go up the marble staircase

Most the exhibits are on the second floor

In the front, there are exhibitions

Where the museum rents art

And has to return it after a few months

Then you pass by

Their collection are in back

An icons of Russia collection

Of original gold painted illustrations

Of various saints and the Trinity

In the foray there are small items

From India and Southeast Asia

There is a fairly big Siva stone carving

As well as smaller carvings in stone

Of various gods

There is always a large Chinese

Throne room, jade pagoda,

And imperial clothing and artifacts

On the left side are the Japanese rooms

There is a suit of Samurai armor

And traditional Japanese swords

In the far room

In the nearer room, there are

Small paintings or woodblock carvings

The Korean section is on the right

It has giant watercolors of landscapes

And there are several calligraphy exhibits

They also have a painting of a

Traditional design of a tiger

Downstairs they have a store

Where sometimes you can find prints or books

Of exhibits and a fancy French cafe

3.2.7 White Curriculum White Pagan Role Models

Europe and America are still

Falling over themselves about

How wonderful the

Greeks and Romans were

In fact, most Christian theology

Is based more on Greek Paganism

Than on the Bible

The Church respected Rome so much

That they made their capital there

They made their cathedrals like

Roman palaces in design

They made their songs patterned

After Roman songs

They used the language of the Romans

And they helped preserve the pagan

Philosophies and literatures

We don’t need more ideas

On how to destroy other nations

Have more sex and violence in our

Entertainment and popular culture

We don’t need our children

Memorizing the names of pagan gods

And the deeds of the evil spirits

We would never even think of

Letting the Bible into our classrooms

Because that would cause

A conflict between Church and State

Even though it affected

English literature more than Greek writings

But it is ok to promote the religions

Of pagans because we basically

Hate God and Christians

Because we want to live lives

Of hedonism and have no limits placed

On how much deviant sex and violence

We can dream up

White Stories

Instead of picking from the hundreds

Of texts of classical literature from

Any of the major civilizations of the world

Mostly not white

And in easy to read modern translations

Out of the at least thousands of years

Of recorded history

We confine ourselves to 200 years

Of rich white male writers

We are a nation of immigrants

Except for the Native Americans

But the only culture we think worth

Preserving is 19th century America

From the point of view of

Rich white men

We are making a value judgement

That we don’t value non-white cultures

We say we care so much about

Multiculturalism but when it actually

Comes to the work part, we all bail out

And really, you can’t say

Hemingway is a better writer than Chuang Tzu

Or that Emerson knew more about Hinduism

Than the writer of the Ramayana

Don’t teachers get bored by narrowing

Themselves to such absurd and ridiculous

Conditions on what they teach?

Don’t they enjoy learning?

They are after all in the profession of education

Which they supposedly got trained in

And chose instead of careers in higher paying fields

Because they actually care

I guess not

Maybe it was just for the summers off

3.2.8 Computers Painter

Most people paint on canvas

Instead of on the computer

But for many like myself

We cannot tolerate

Being around turpentine

Or other harsh chemicals

And so we would never be

Able to do oil painting

If there were not a program

That helped in this feat

Painter not only allows

A person to paint

In many different styles

But it also has

Hundreds of brushes

The pigments interact

With each other naturally

You can use a digital pen

To draw with

And you can even

Turn photos into

Painting with natural

Looking strokes

There is no other program

That is like it

LaTeX

LaTeX is based on the idea

Of structured documents

Document structure is an

Abstract concept

That people are familiar with

Although not with the name

How do you know

When a chapter begins

Or what is an index?

There is no set form

For any of these

Structural elements

You know in part

What it is based on intuition

The other aspect of

Understanding structure

Is consistent style

While there may be

Limitless variety in how

New chapters are marked

Or how we display an index

We can recognize it in part

Due to consistent design

Of every individual

Occurrence of each element

LaTeX allows you to

Mark where a chapter begins

Or what the title is

And it does the actual layout

For you by itself

You can modify any aspect

But no matter what style you use

Each chapter will look the same

You can easily transform

The document into

Many different uses

Like e-books, web pages,

And for printing on the press

Print on Demand

Print on demand

Is a very recent advance

In printing technology

That has revolutionized

How books are produced

Before print on demand

When you wanted to

Publish a book

Or put your logo

On a t-shirt or mug

You had to specify the

Quantity before it was printed

As it would cost too much

To print out individually

In fact, your price went

Down per item

The more you ordered

And then you had to

Have somewhere to store

The finished products

Print on demand is

Entirely different

Each book is printed

Or your logo stamped

Onto a t-shirt

One at a time

And there is no

Minimum order or

Any fees for warehousing

And as a side effect

You get to keep

Your copyright

Even after being published

Social Networking

Social networking

Allows different people

To form communities

On the Internet

And share their creations

Or their ideas

With each other

In a common environment

With ground rules

And most are supported

Entirely by ads

Basically, the advantage

To the host is that

They get free content

And the advantage to

The individual poster

Is their content is

Hosted for free

These communities

Are a collection of web pages

That are easily designable

Because they are based

On common templates

That are customizable

So they work the same

And the content producers

Don’t have to design from scratch

There are social networks

For kids, college students,

Authors, book lists, music, videos

And even bookmarks

They are also great ways

To advertise products

And meet new people

Or keep in touch with friends

3.2.9 Other Poetry My Creative Process

My pen is not my sword

The Bible is

My pen is my body

I move in slow smooth motions

Every motion is an arc

Each joining and turning

At every meeting point

I place my feet carefully

As in learning a new dance

I feel the warmth flow

From my kidneys

But I am still cool

And goose bumps raise

Off my skin

I stop to think in the middle

I sit down in a lotus position

I open the book

That I am currently absorbing

And leave it in mid sentence

As understanding comes

I make another connection

Another piece of the puzzle

Falls into place

My methods is deliberate

My routine is spontaneous

Where will I go today?

I have some ideas

Where will I go tomorrow?

I have no idea

No other plans than the immediate

I rush to finish it

The project is everything

If there is no record

Then I only benefit

I must provide stepping stones

For others following

I think there is only one person behind me

But he is panting like a hot dog

Who smells a hot dog

And does not want to wait

It must just be my shadow

Aesthetics and Ethics

There is a subtleness to our Maker

My Creator paints with tiny dots

A hundred people may crash in an instant

But a single person gets stabilized on medication

The God I worship is a God of the individual

He does not make every one get down on bended knee

He is gracious and humble

He gently turns individual hearts towards Himself

One molecule different separates a plant from an animal

If even one of a thousand processes work wrong a person cannot see

My Savior understands the power of one

He provided a way for all of humanity by Himself in just three years

Consciousness is a paradox

Existence is a miracle

Is God accountable to us

Or are we accountable to God?

Is it our fault for not making airlines safe

Or is it God’s for not revealing the plot to the FBI?

Can we create a whole world from a singularity?

Can we invent love?

Is there an aesthetics of ethics?

If what we create makes life better for one person

Is not that the definition of divine art?

That Kind of Woman

Independent and confident

Elegant and refined

Like a tower she stands tall

Leaning neither forward nor backward

A top her head a violet waterfall

Framing her long nose and round eyes

A thousand words she tells with her eyes

With danger and excitement she tells her story

Casting long shadows

They are bright and mischievous

Her mouth parts with breath inhaled

There is a glint of star shine

She is worldly and sensual

Many fall for her charms

Face stark white

And lips red as blood

She is strong and bold

Mysterious and hidden

Like a young girl from Africa

Her hips gently swaying

Moving in gentle strides

She has somewhere to go

Nose adorned with precious metal

Looking down her stomach shines

She is radiant and hot

Sexy and charming

Her jeans black and fitted

She walks on platform shoes

She craves challenge

And she yearns for excitement

Becoming an Artist

I finally decide I have said enough

And my message is complete

But two towers fall

And 3000 people die in a plume of smoke

My poetry reaches maturity

And becomes on par with any other

I am published for the first time

In a respectable journal

I get a Mac and I learn to draw

And then I am able to arrange music

I bring my pain and my hope

To others in art

All good writers are moral

Out of compassion comes beauty

And I have an increasing joy

To draw from

As I learn about other cultures

And revolutionary ideas

Out of the poetry and art

An eccentric blend of theory is born

And eventually a subculture

The theory gets a human face

Completion

Being finished and moving on

Is a very satisfying experience

It is not that I don’t enjoy

The stages along the way

But the lifting of responsibilities

Is freeing and relieving

Word by word

And stroke by stroke

I put my thoughts

To digital paper

With each task completed

A new one is born

Ideas drift in in waves

And inspiration hovers for a while

The past is very safe

The best protection for ideas

Putting years between yourself

And the project

Not only gives perspective

But affords time for others to absorb it

New seeds are planted

And grow to harvest

No one can take away your experiences

Nothing can diminish what you have accomplished

In every person’s life

There are moments of reflection

And to have something important done

Provides a place of serenity

And a way to relive experiences

While I don’t know

What the future holds

Nor what works are left undone

I can see progress

And I know I have exerted genuine effort

I have fought for those who cannot

In a way that is both obscure

And possibly very natural

That makes it worthwhile

And the effort seems easy

Fine Art

Fine art is not imitative

It is not photography

Creations are not just objects

They are representations

Of the epic heroes

And of the spiritual realm

Art is meant to teach

And people must understand

Not just feel something

The art does not mean just anything

The meaning is determined by the creator

Art is not meant to teach conformity

Or imitation of a specific style

It is meant to uplift the heart and mind

Art is religion and philosophy

We learn to create beauty

By learning morality

We improve ourselves spiritually

By God’s direction

And this is what makes art classical

Art must communicate

And people must contemplate

Art is a reflection of culture

And it does not evolve over time

Or at least it hasn’t in modern times

When we seek to be expressive

And to enjoy the appearance

This is not fine art

Art is serious and it is ancient

We learn from the classics

But emulate no one

American Literature

American Literature has little depth

To it compared to Asian Literature

But I have good memories

Of when used to study it

Maybe it was because it was just

That I enjoyed writing or it was

Just preferable to math class

I remember mostly how I felt

It opened up ideas that were new to me

And new ways of looking at the world

It was something I felt very safe with

I guess I felt like Hemingway’s

Short story - A Clean, Well Lighted Place

The naturalism writings were new to me

And I enjoyed their cynicism

I remember reading Ken Follet

And James Clavell about other countries

They are obviously overly simplistic

But at the time were exciting

I always enjoy just learning new things

And books even if I don’t like

Their subjects

I was also very good at writing

I won a national peace essay contest

For the State of Oregon

Colors

I paint with the colors

That live in my mind

I paint with the hot pink

Of a picturesque sunset

I don’t stop to see

Often enough

I paint with shades of green

Of avocados in burritos

And kiwi shakes

When I have enough money

I paint with the bright yellow

Of the penetrating heat

Of the summer sun

That keeps my inside

In the air conditioning

I paint with the deep brown

Of a intimate local cafe

I frequent when I am

Out too early for lunch

I paint with the bright blue

Of the brilliant summer skies

I paint with the orange red

Of numerous pizzas ordered

When I don’t have the energy

To walk to the store

I paint with the dark blue

Of the pen I mark the date on

My backup CD-ROMs

3.3 Articles about Art 3.3.1 Art Movements Diversity, Freedom, and Confidence

Like phenomenology and theoretical physics of the early half of the 20th century, the modern art of Picasso was visionary for his time. The variety of his interests in art and the diversity of his creations reflect a complex person. His bold break from tradition showed a confidence in his vision. Picasso and his work are the epitome of freedom of expression.

The twentieth century has brought in many concepts that are poorly understood, because they are strikingly different, than any ideas in the past, and they are so sudden, that there are few frames of reference for evaluating and relating to the revolutions in: art, science, philosophy, and politics.

Although few people understand Picasso and can describe his art in a way that gives him the credit for the changes he inspired, and his personal creativity, confidence, and unquenchable freedom of human spirit, we can see his art bringing about a fundamental shift in the range of forms in which artists are able to express themselves and be accepted by part of the population.

It is hard to understand abstract art and it is even harder to create good abstract art. This is partly because our imaginations are often confined to what we can see, hear, and touch. We do not dream big enough, to allow ourselves the freedom to capture ideas, that we have not been told by others.

Art is not what people think photography is. It is not a Science, and it is not intended to be a reproduction of images or an exact duplicate of what was seen. Art is a way of expressing emotions and if we want everything to be recognizable without thinking, we would probably prefer photography.

Art transcends the limits of a strictly empirical and rational approach to life, where we observe things in a way that can be measured, and hold to some predetermined beliefs about life that other people have come up with. Artists have to have the freedom, to imagine a world of possibilities, and their works are meant to elicit emotions, beyond just what the subject can be described in words.

Abstract art also allows more freedom of interpretation and encourages diversity in points of view. It is not as accurate as a worded description, but is not limited to narrow interpretation either. The whole creation is greater than the sum of its parts in art, which is much harder to so with words.

It is not an understanding of life that is academic, in its strictest sense. It is something that must be experienced. The feelings it brings about, in the observer, are more important, than a technical understanding of how it was made, or the exact intent of the artist.

In a world when we get into wars over words, try to explain phenomenon in purely mathematical formulas, and reduce morality down to legalese, we need something to get us to see the world with our heart, instead of pursuing understanding, with only our heads.

Gothic Art

Gothic art was the first international style and the first to create fashion. Gothic was never a single style; it depended on local traditions. Gothic art was an advertisement of Heaven to come. Many of the forms were based on function, but began to take on symbolic meanings.

The Gothic style gave an impression of lightness and vertical movement. The features were not distinct and the forms exaggerated, to allow for a steep angle of vision. The pointed arch and the canopy serve to make the figures fit for inclusion into the Heavenly framework. Round Romanesque arches represent the Old Testament, whereas the New Testament is represented by pointed Gothic arches. Trefoils and quatrefoils were Gothic shapes. The statues can be identified with emotionally and feelings can be projected on them. The animated images gave people a personal relationship with God, where they felt distant during communion.

The light coming through colored glass symbolized God, as revealed to us in the form of light, but in a dark and mysterious manner. Light also contrasted with the shadows it also created and showed a dualism of good and evil. The walls were associated with this world and were lit by sunlight, whereas the altar was of another world and was lit by its own light, candles.

The Gothic style was most evident in the city. In the city, there was no feudal system, but it was the most policed space. Every architectural element stood for power. Pilgrims would have measured the distance to the cathedral in days. There were bells that told the liturgical time of the day and at sunset they would see the sun shine on the west side of the cathedral. Statues in the sunset light represented the end of times. In the scenes on the church walls, past, present, and future were combined. New Gothic forms were added onto existing structures. Time was measured by sundials, hourglass, and the stars. It was common to have a pictorial calendar, showing what the people did, at different times of the year.

The New Testament events are symbolized in Old Testament events. This was an interpretation of the past that made it significant to current theology. This was not a developmental version of time but one focused on symbols of salvation. The messages are institutional often, rather than spiritual. The characters were shown as if they existed in the present, because they were part of Biblical history too and it wasn’t a so distant a past. Without books available to the average person, the figures had to be arranged in meaningful patterns and with obvious features, for easy memory.

People wanted their own private relics for devotional purposes. Of chief concern were the objects associated with Christ’s suffering. People became fascinated with these symbols of horror. There were books and even jewelry for this purpose. Man was a part of nature. Nature was both beautiful and fallen, depending on how it was depicted. The blooming of flowers contrasted with them decaying showed the doctrine of the vanity of things of this world. The Gothic naturalism is not a uniform style, but the degree of naturalism employed depended on the message behind it. Nature wasn’t symbolizing reality; reality was spiritual. Nature was still seen as made by God, but it was no longer a range of symbols.

The Gothic cathedral came from the tall tree forests of northern Europe. The foliage on the pillars emphasized the upward movement. Nature was considered to be more benign than before in Romanesque art, where people could handle it and be part of it. God could be experienced through His creation. People hung branches and flowers in the church on feast days and festivals, so the carvings had some very material significance. The plants carved were associated with the local countryside and city. Nature was considered to be a magical force. The nobles thought of a garden as a place of love and something to decorate their houses with.

The animals were drawn from real examples, but rather from tapestries, shields, or encyclopedias, drawn to entertain rather than inform, and were represented as universals, not as individuals. The continuous narrative was employed, showing numerous repetitions of a figure to indicate movement.

The world was seen in fragments. Human and animal are always kept distinct. In the monster, they combine. The grotesque is an important element of Gothic art. They are drawn for things that are not appropriate enough to be described, things that were considered unnatural. They are representatives of horrors of the flesh. They also come from folklore. Grotesques are on the roofs of cathedrals, on the edges of illuminated manuscripts, and on the back of church chairs. Gargoyles are one example.

People aren’t drawn naturalistically, because that symbolizes sin. The first humans that were approved to do naturalistically were corpses. Because of the Bubonic Plague, death became popular in art. The artists were showing how life is fleeting. Before anesthesia, people preferred death. These were depicted in the martyrdom of the saints. This was because there was constant war and punishments were public to discourage crime. The naked body engaged in sex was outlawed, but it was ok to show tortured bodies naked.

The Purpose of Gothic Art

The reason behind Gothic art is to show the contrast between Hell and Heaven, Good and Evil, and other common dualities. Gothic architecture came in the 12th Century, when European cathedral builders realized that the walls could be made much thinner and the windows much bigger, if the walls were straight, which did more than just save money; it brought in light. Not only is Gothic art obsessed with showing us suffering, but it also shows a very cultivated and cultured view of beauty. The Gothic perspective reveals that what society labels as good like luxury can be evil and what society says is evil like faith can actually be good.

3.3.2 Practical Art Finding a Hobby Introduction

According to Viktor Frankl, a person with Schizophrenia needs not worry about what causes each delusion or paranoia, but, rather that he has a disease and that the medicine he takes does the battle for him. He needs to focus on something else, because if he faces the battle head on, his subconscious will overtake him. There is a place for religion proper: when dealing with acute symptoms; but it is also important to work with your hands, to find balance and meaning in life. Craft materials don’t cost very much anymore and can help a person with Schizophrenia to express their feelings, through the arts. And the arts are very interrelated with religion. Music and decorative ceremonial objects are a vital part of the religious experience. Not everyone can write their own music, but handicrafts are a more universal creative medium. I have discovered 5 crafts that I enjoy. You might want to consider one or more of them.

• Examples

• Cross Stitch

• Sculptey

• Stickers

• Laminating

• Terra Cotta Pots

Cross Stitch

Cross stitch is a type of needle-craft. It is easy to master the several main stitch types and you can get complete kits with the needle, threads and stamped pattern. You also need a wooden hoop. These are available at any good craft store. One of the draw backs is that it requires good eye sight.

Sculptey

There are several brands that work almost identically, but the idea is that you mold this special type of plastic and then you bake it in the oven, at low heat, so that it hardens. It is easier to work with than clay and it already comes colored. You can buy it and books that give ideas on how to make animals and decorations with it at most craft or toy stores. This requires good eyesight, but to a lesser degree than cross stitch, as the sculptey comes in small squares.

Stickers, Lamination and Magnets

This type of work requires a modest investment. To just do small stickers, it will cost you 20 US dollars for the machine, and the cartridge included. To make larger stickers, as well as laminate and make magnets you will have to invest 50 US dollars plus 20 US dollars per cartridge. It comes with a sticker cartridge and idea book. And the cartridges are about 8 feet long of sticky. I bought a Xyron 510 from Joann Fabrics online.

Terra Cotta Pots

Terra Cotta pots can be used for more than just planting. They can also be used to make animals and decorative containers out of. I found some free designs at About.com and also bought a book for about 10 US dollars from the Craft Ideas online store. You can also likely get some designs at national chain book stores like Borders, or Barnes and Noble. I had trouble finding designs at even major craft store chains. The pots cost 50 cents and up, depending on the size, and can be bought at any craft store.

Galleries Frequently Asked Questions Why Cows?

Cows are a symbol for my website and are significant to me because they suffer because other people treat them as objects, just as others treat me as a monster/freak or don’t recognize my struggles as valid.

How did you learn to use the computer?

I was in charged of the military part of the post high school section of a high school orientation program that our class made with Sony Disc Manufacturing. That is what gave me an interest in graphic design. I got my confidence when I used UNIX in the military. I keep up to date on all the latest software by reading daily news sites about what interests me.

What do you mean by Still Life?

Still Life is a term I use to denote inanimate objects that are sentient beings. Just as God dreamt us into existence, so we give human being to plush animals (stuffed toys) and other still life.

How did you learn to draw?

I never received any formal education in art other than craft work I did in Cub Scouts and elementary school. I did take one class in Gender and Art and a class in Design for Journalists as they were required classes in college. But most of my ability in photography and drawing on the computer is intuitive and I do not use any methods I was taught in school. There are some strategies I use to draw digitally, but this was something I came up with and not something I read somewhere. In fact, still to this day, I don’t use bezier curves to create shapes like most designers do.

Why are there no photos of exotic locations?

It was said in the Tao te Ching that the sage knows all things although he never travels far from home. I don’t travel far from home because it is hard for me to wait and there is a tremendous amount of waiting in travel. I couldn’t go to other countries, because I depend on my medicine to keep me in my right mind. I could easily get into a life threatening situation, if I wasn’t on my medicine. I also want people to realize how much beauty their is just in our communities and to respect all our resources and life forms that we encounter.

Why Trees?

I have always liked trees, long before I had any connection with cows. Trees have many attributes of God and I feel closer to Him when I am near trees. A tree can be very big like God, silent and still like God, very old like God, and provide protection from the elements like God protects us from potential problems.

3.4 Ecological Prose 3.4.1 Unified Social Theory of Natural Science

• All creatures that feel pain should be kept from any unnecessary suffering

• The difference between humans and animals is a matter of degree

• Human beings are not defined by any distinct characteristics in the Bible

• The distinguishing factor between people and animals is a social construct

• People have social and physical power over animals and are responsible for their well being

• Flora should be treated with respect to their well being as well as fauna

• Water and cells should be carefully looked after as they are the building blocks of life

• The earth should be treated with the same respect as other life forms

• Preservation of life does not mean no harm is done

• Although animals and people may be perceived as the same, the human has a responsibility to look after the animal

• Not subjecting sentient beings to physical pain is just the beginning of a social ethic

• Humans should use their resources to actively advocate for the well being of all sentient beings

3.4.2 The Theoretical and Everyday Life

In the first 30 years of the 20th century (1900-1930), discoveries made by leading physicists, challenged the old order of thought. Where we first saw the world in only three dimensions and fundamental particles as simple, solid objects, we now found that the absolutes, rules, and language that we were educated in did not hold true in many situations which we found ourselves.

Most people who believe in Science as a world view do not really understand the Scientific process. Science was never meant to be a world view, but was a creative process that would evolve its beliefs over time and continually change the foundations of its theories, as more evidence came in. Science does not have any definite assumptions, that which it does hold true is under a constant evolution, and science can not say anything about God one way or the other, but scientists are just as bigoted as anyone else.

Scientists are experts about the scientific process and established theories, but they are not experts on ethics or spirituality.

And we don’t figure in the circumstances under which scientists work: scientists are usually employed by research institutions and get funding from the defense department and big business. They are taught to reject theories that are not approved, not only by independent verification, but also by the culture of assumptions that the Scientific community perpetuates. Announce to the world that you are a Creation Scientist and see how many publishers will publish your books, feature your work in established Scientific journals, or what research institutions will hire you.

Modern physics challenges everything we were taught in school. We are taught that the more we know, the more our questions will be answered, the more we will understand the world, and the easier things will get for us in life. But 20th century physics has proved just the opposite for us. And it is true as much in our everyday lives as it is in theoretical physics.

In the Postmodern world, nothing holds up as an absolute and their is no central or dominant world view. We have nothing to guide us, but our own intellects. For every view, there is a counter and the only thing that is believed as wrong is actually believing anything is absolutely true, or being committed to anything besides your job. We have no compass in this brave new world and the more we learn, the more we realize our limitations.

We understand that we live in a world carefully crafted for us and we are standing at the edge of a cliff, trying to balance between chaos and totalitarianism. We cannot be free to the point of having no beliefs and no direction morally and expect to keep our affluent existence. We have to realize that building prestige and building wealth is not the answer to our problems.

There are two worlds in violent opposition to each other. We have the first world where we are dying from being so well fed and are biggest problem is getting rid of all our waste, where we are technologically advanced but morally bankrupt. The other side of the world is rich in culture, history, and diversity. But it is at the stone age in technology and the greatest problem is where the next meal is coming from.

We have to learn from each other if we are to survive, because technology doesn’t always win. And when someone else is defeated, we lose more of our soul.

3.4.3 Animal Rights

What does define a human? A popular modern answer is DNA. But even a frog has 95 percent of the same DNA as a human. And DNA differs among races and even among families, right down to the individual person. What makes a person human is their humanity: having ideals and not living up to them.

We are famous for our technology, but we can’t make our robots swim as well as fish. We learn about art and design from nature. Are some cultures more human because they have faster computers? Even the largest computers doesn’t come close to the billions of processors inside each human brain. And with all the more information in our century, do we cherish ideals as a possibility, or are we too overwhelmed by the violence of the 20th century and how our knowledge just turns into better weapons, weapons that don’t make mistakes - they’re just programmed wrong.

Animals also have compassion and humility as well as other ideals that we long to emulate. Does your cat get impressed by your new gadgets? Does your dog expect you to be economically successful? Does your cat comfort you when you are sick? Does your dog try to help you when you are hurt?

People often quote the Bible that there is a hierarchy of God, then angels, then humans, then animals. But, if animals are not considered to have humanity too, then are we considered to be less important or moral than aliens or angels? Is it ethical for aliens to experiment on humans? They are certainly more technologically advanced and more intelligent than us.

Even if we don’t consider animals to have humanity by some technicality, then why do we not strive at least for our ideals of compassion and humility and consider their pain and their weakness? It is not because we believe deep down in our heart that animals are actually more cultured and sophisticated than us? Do animals destroy other species, in large numbers, or fight to kill off their own species, because they think differently.

3.4.4 Based on Outlines of Unfinished Tolkien Stories Clay Vessels

The One conceived of a thought and a dream was born.

A great bubble swelled up and broke apart from the rim of the spoke. The bubble began to turn about itself as it hurdled through the confines of this maze of energy. The bubble also spun across its surface down deep into the center of its geometry.

Out of the deep blue expanse there arose form and substance that broke the symmetry of nothingness. The blue expanse spread out and hung thinly from that which it came. Something new separated the great waters above from the great water below.

The land was hard and empty. There was nothing more than the hint of footprints across the thin layer of dust that coated the plain. There were piles of rocks falling as they pleased from detailed patterns that began to break into disorder.

The air was cold and silent. There were only thin trails of mist that hung down beneath the piles of rocks. 

The sky was dark and still. There were a few small lights that flashed in the sky and the silver sliver was smooth and bright without a blemish. There were several small dark patches that appeared to be moving across the silver surface.

A cool Wind arose in the midst of the night. The spoke tore open with a brilliant Light that made the night turn into day. As the Voice in the midst of the flame pierced the silence with song, the lights in the great sea above began to multiply and join the chorus.

A nearer light was given a new theme and the sky turned silver and faded into gold. There were streaks of blood and passion that streamed like ribbons around the nearer light.

The surface burst open in an instant of flying rock and heat. Where the river of rock flowed into the waters below, there was a cloud of dust and steam that rose up to meet the waters above and returned to the edge of the dry land.

Where the great wild sea lapped at the edge of the dry land, pools of warm and gently circulating dust melted into the cool water. As the water circulated, the dust collected into mounds of clay that became smooth and thin. The sea pulled back into itself and placed the clay vessels up onto the dry land, as the nearer light drew back and faded into a purple shimmer over the horizon.

Rocks came flying in from all sides out of a new tear in the great expanse above and there was a new color that drew its life from both the nearer light and the great sea. Thin and small forms of this same color began to root themselves into the damp mud that formed the clay vessels.

There the clay vessels hardened under the presence of the nearer light. The green trees began to wander about under the new light and spread over the land wherever they could still taste the great sea below. The music grew more intense and the entire spoke shuddered as the Wind stirred up in a great breeze like that which comes from the great sea but with another intensity.

The vessels were set aflame by the great fresh gust of Wind and they began to roll down the mountain from under the forest that grew up around them many years before. As the clearing was awoken with the rush of smoking clay vessels, the nearer light fell down over the horizon.

When the clay vessels cracked open, it was a clear dark night with a thin layer of mist. The stars filled the sky with a gentle and magical light. Creatures stirred from within the clay vessels. The first few awoke from nothing into His dream alive and, upon walking out, beheld the wonder of the night sea of light as they gazed upwards.

Strange Gift

The great light tore open the darkness and reached out in all directions, consuming the darkness at its leisure. Shadows grew as the light became more intense. Figures began to rise up and stumble in the mist that covered the valley as far as their eyes could see.

The trees spoke and wandered somewhere between waking and sleeping. The eagles rode on the back of the wind and occasionally just let go and fell out of the sky suddenly. Somewhere between non-being and death, a Voice echoed in their minds.

The figures let the thoughts dance in the corners of their minds as they explored all things with equal intensity. Armfuls of branches were thrown high into the air and leaves of wild flowers were exchanged between person and plant. Animals and people chased each other down through the open valley, while others leaped off trees and rolled down through the various bushes.

When they were all alone or all together, dreams would dance in their minds to the rhythm of their Father’s voice. There would be adventures so clear and intense that waking and sleeping were only like night and day. Some people started to imitate animals in their noise and their movements and others made simple rolling grunts in response.

Other things awoke in their minds and that enhanced their desire to explore and experience. When they had seen a new animal or a new mountain, there was a desire to express this to other people. Events became distinguished from experience and there were names to describe these. Harmony was broken.

Then there were many who desired to make things that they dreamed, so that others could see the wonder of their minds. Some wandered beyond the mountains and were not seen of again. There were shapes that seemed to come from the edge of existence and gave people dreams and power that did not bring harmony.

When these dark shadows grew over them, their interaction became functionally fixed and they began to patent what they learned. They saw one, that came as a bright light, who led the others to separate himself as morally superior. They were persuaded to differentiate between things and to assign different values to them.

They did not have to wait as before to make what they dreamed, so they were afraid to abandon their bill of rights. They were told that they had an enemy: the Voice that gave them dreams to dream. They were told not to listen to the first Voice, if they wanted to have what the commercials told them they wanted.

They began to fear the second voice and they no longer got premium service. They had to sacrifice their young kids to be burned alive for the housewarming gifts. The first Voice spoke once more and gave them the freedom of death to part from the dream in which they could not now awake on their own.

Some hearts were divided between the voices and death was feared more and more. People now starved to death because others wanted gourmet food, others suffered with mental illness because of the electromagnetic radiation, and others grew weary from polluted water because some people didn’t have time to recycle. All this was started because they loved life and feared death. Those who embraced death were killed and rested and those who embraced life lived in fear.

A remnant ran as far as the ocean and found that they could not escape from the alien hovercraft.

The People of Stone and Leaf

Walls of stone kept the long hallway cool even in the heat of the day. The stones were being broken into rubble by a soft and wet form that draws life from both the nearer light and the great sea below. The empty air was full of stale sea life.

The hammer pounded faithfully, as the steady hand beats form out of thought. Iron continued to strike iron, until the extra form of the stone figures fell away into great piles of rubble. The chisel carved the figures into pillars of stone, as the clay vessels were washed onto the edge of dry land.

Seven figures were arranged about the inner chamber, and the rock that they were made of was hardened by ten thousand blows of the hammer. Standing low to the ground and with thick limbs and middle, the faces were weathered for many ages of great sorrow and violence.

The great hands cast a mold of a curious metal. Radiant and flexible, light and impenetrable, there were none that could compare. As the figures were fitted with the special coats, a Voice spoke and the hammer fell to the ground with a piercing clatter.

Challenged by the One who made the spoke of time, he who beats the hammer to the anvil gave up that which he could not cause to wander. How would the people of stone become a nation without dreams of freedom? There was room for those whom the world would seldom see for how hard it is to set aside that which the craftsman has made.

By a heart sinking down in shame, the mighty hammer was cast down wildly as the stone people fled for cover. The Voice that made the people flee suffered the stone people to be His adopted children and to share in the wealth of His first children.

The great craftsman accepted even the foreshadow of rivalry as a gift of which he was not worthy. The craftsman now laid his people down to sleep in the heart of the great trees of stone, until the clay vessels would first dream of magic and light.

There was need to share this story with she who made the form that draws life from both the nearer light and the great waters below. Secrets held long make friendship seldom and painful. What does he who beats the anvil in the darkness of the halls of stone, think of that which dances in the symphony of the raging wind and flying streams of water?

Hold thy mind now fast on that dream that brings thought into form. The forest shall be alive with shepherds and not all trees will sleep through their own death. The sky and the great trees of stone shall be filled with those who come and leave as if from nowhere. But the stone people will still need wood.

3.4.5 Philosophy of Fun Less money but more fun

Businesses often make money not by satisfying genuine needs but by appealing to a person’s emotional insecurities. They create a market for their goods when there isn’t an established market for their good or service. Advertising is the usual medium that is used to create this emotional need. Advertisers convince people that people need to buy their product to be happy, by convincing people that only things that cost money are fun. These are false distinctions that separate luxury from subsistence expenditures and that create inequality and suffering.

This kind of advertising is often common with a corporation because of the abstraction of the stockholders (owners) of the company from the management decisions that the company makes and the lack of the personal responsibility that this arrangement fosters. Most businesses are not corporations, have first hand insights into social justice issues, and often bear more personal responsibility than individuals, but most of the businesses that people are familiar with are the multi-national corporations that dodge personal responsibility and pursue profits blind of the consequences.

Save on public transportation

Not only is money saved when people use city buses, greyhound buses, and trains instead of cars, taxis, and airplanes; but it also saves time because the routes are organized better and they stop closer to the places where a person can find entertainment with less time spent questioning others and learning by trial and error. Cars cost a tremendous amount of money and some families have found that they save thousands of dollars a year even when they rent a car for vacation as compared to owning one.

Find joy in producing, rather than consuming

Entertainment that costs the most money is where there is the most service rendered and the most personalized attention. Entertainment requires both of these. When you are the one performing rather than being the spectator, you feel greater involvement and personalization and it can cost quite a bit less than consumption-focused entertainment.

Do things for others rather than yourself

A person will always be disappointed when they try to satisfy their own ever increasing desires for pleasure. There really is often more joy in helping others than in consuming for ourselves. It is free to volunteer and it is usually more fun than doing things for yourself because the attitude is more positive in volunteering.

Be spontaneous and absurd

Humor is just an incredible insight that hits at just the right moment in an understandable way. Absurdity is that which is human and defines our unique existence. It is the human that challenges our conception of what is human most that is the most human. When someone just goes and does something without being self-conscious they often have more fun than if they spent time planning it. There is no one to impress unless you are into politics or in high school. Business makes money by having a person engaging in activities that they can control and manipulate. Spontaneousness and absurdity are things that businesses cannot make sense of and those inclinations lead to less consumerism.

Motion = Stillness

When the body is still, then the mind races. When the body is moving, then the mind is still. People spend much of their lives sitting and talking or resting and planning to help alleviate stress and conflict, when just forgetting the whole thing would be much better. Non competitive sports are great for this but the same motion can be derived from spending time with animals or even reflecting on the wind, rain, and racing shadows. Getting where there is fresh air is important for this (for the ears and a sense of space, not for the lungs), so when there is reading of books, spending of time planning, or spending of any money the action becomes too purposeful and the uselessness is lost.

No Expectations

This is one of the reasons why humans experience so much more pain than animals: they have an expectation of what events should be like. This leads to drug use and a compulsive consumption of luxury items. Don’t expect events to unfold like you have been told they should, and don’t look for some set course of events or outcome that will make it a good story.

Holding onto the Moment

There can be an eternity in a moment. Camus said that a person only needed to live one day to survive a lifetime in prison. Society is very wasteful not just materially but with memories, time, and thought. When a person is at work, the time seems to last forever, but when they are having fun, it seems to go by so fast. Time cannot be changed but perspective can. It all works out the same for us, because we live our lives in our minds.

Understand the Ecology

There is no one set way of having more fun with less money. The key is understanding your entire ecology and the system that you live in. By working within it, and not against it, you will can learn to escape from the way the world works more with your mind and so you will need to expend less effort with your body.

3.5 Ecological Poetry 3.5.1 Nature Appreciation Poetry Help Farm Animals

Human laborers are not the only

Foundation of civilization

Farm animals were used

In the creation of modern civilization

For food and other products

They could be made into

As well as their labor on farms

Although most farmers

Now use machines

We would not have gotten to this point

Without the labor of farm animals

We still crave the products

That come from the farm animal

We crave the meat, milk, eggs

To enrich our diets

And we make leather and glue

Out of horses and cows

We also do cruel things

To farm animals

In the way we feed

And how we house them

We are also cruel

In using the smaller ones

Like rabbits and mice

As guinea pigs

For products too toxic

For humans anyway

With all the farm animals

Contribute to our culture

And for all they have suffered unfairly

Find a way to help improve the life

Of a farm animal today

The Land is a Gift

The land has given us

So much wealth

The earth gives us vegetation

For shelter, medicine, and food

The earth gives us minerals

For shelter, medicine, and art

The land gives us water

For energy, health, and hygiene

The earth gives us fuel

For transportation, warmth, and machinery

The land gives us space

For shelter, community gatherings, and monuments

The land has given us so much

And asks nothing of us

But to be good stewards

Of its forests and landscapes

Deserts and tundra

Mountains and hills

Valleys and lowlands

Oceans and rivers

Sky and clouds

To keep the earth alive

With vegetation and living creatures

Not only have we not appreciated

The resource we get

From the earth

We have poisoned and torn apart

The land and its creatures

We need to stop creating trash

And waste that isn’t organic

We need to live within

The energy we have available

We need to keep at least some of the land

Free from any development

And where we do develop

We need to not disturb

Its living creations

Loving Pets

Our animal friends love us

No matter what we look like

No matter how smart we are

No matter how much money we have

The only thing

An animal cares about

Is how much you love them

How you take care of their needs

How you create joy in their lives

The time you spend with them

The quality of food

You provide for them

How clean you keep

Their living space

How gently you touch them

And pick them up

For the amount of effort

You put into caring for them

They create in enjoyment

10 times as much

When we think of helping

In poverty and injustice

We should think first

Of our animal friends

Who live without homes

And in unclean situations

Who are neglected and abused

Or who are in jail though innocent

3.5.2 Animal Liberation Animal not Plant

1

An animal is a living being

Created directly by God

Animals are not just objects

To be used how we see fit

They have feelings and souls

They are to be taken care of

Like we do our own children

2

There is no excuse for cruelty

Towards our weaker friends

We have all the power

In the human animal relationship

We should not abuse this power

3

Because animal are not always

Committed to just one spouse

For their entire lives

We think

That they are not worthy

Of our respect and compassion

4

Instead of looking at animals

As a degenerate form of humans

We should look to animals

Kindness and genuine affection

As the highest goals for expanding

Our own morality and godliness

5

The more we find out about animals

The more we realize their intelligence

And their range of possible emotions

The difference between an animal

And a human is a matter of degree

Their is nothing essentially specific

To humans about reasoning or emotions

6

The only thing that separates us

From the animals is our technology

And our power over them

We reach out our hand

In destruction in a way that no animal

Has ever dreamed of

7

Could you imagine an animal

Trying to wipe out an entire species

Or destroy an entire culture?

Could you imagine an animal

That would poison its own environment?

8

I challenge those who think they are moral

Or think they are smart

To study the behavior of our weaker friends

And try to find a way in which

They don’t excel beyond us

Intellectually and morally

Jesus and Animals

1

We were given the Ten Commandments

To be a written record of our conscience

But the law was not limited to

Only 10 offenses

The Ten Commandments were a summary

Of that vast codification

Of what we know to be right and wrong

2

When Jesus came to earth

Representing the perfect man

He challenged us to not just refrain

From murder and stealing and adultery

We were to stop the thoughts in our heads

That were the beginning of a desire

That could eventually result in the breaking

Of one of the laws

3

Jesus expanded the law in one way

And contracted it in another

We are to love our neighbor as ourselves

This goes beyond just our actions

But into our feelings and our reasoning

We are to refrain from having

Even evil thoughts towards another

4

But Jesus never specified

That we only treat people with respect

We were to reach out to others

Beyond just refraining from sin

Or even the thought of it

But to work for the betterment of others

Which focused on what Jesus called

The least of these

Who are the victims of our society

5

The animals suffer for our food

They suffer for our entertainment

For our beauty products

For our “advances” in technology

We should think first

Of our weaker brothers and sisters

And improve the lives of animals first

Before we take on causes to help people

6

Our domination of nature was meant

As a responsibility and a challenge

It was not meant for us to exploit

The weak and powerless creatures

We should look for ways

To go beyond the literal words

Written in the law and expand

Our compassion to the limits of

Our imagination as the road that

Jesus has only started us on

7

challenge yourself to go beyond

The letter of the law and recognize

That the spirit of the law

Is an ever expanding frontier

Don’t be content to just do no harm

But reach out to those who are weaker

To make their lives the best they can be

Master of Humans

1

Does it scare you

When you think of a wild animal

And what they might do to you

If you come too close?

Try to think how the animal feels

To have its home taken away

And to have no food left

2

Is it right that for better scenery

We build our homes in their habitat?

It is no surprise that they venture

Into our cities for food and for shelter

3

What really scares a person

Is the idea of supernatural or alien

Enemies that have more power

And more technology than us

As we venture out into space

Or explore portals to other worlds

Through drugs or magic

We have something to fear

That is greater than ourselves

4

We become the animals

And we are hunted

By higher powers than ourselves

Is it wrong for aliens to victimize humans

When we hurt our fellow animals?

If our criteria for sentience is

Intelligence and technology

Don’t these other powers

Have the right to persecute us?

5

We are afraid of our machines

That one day we will design them

To be too smart to just serve us

When our machines become

More intelligent and sophisticated than us

According to our reasons for dominance

The machines have the rights

To use and exploit us

3.5.3 Animal Epic Poem Ecclesiastes 3:19

In a blink of God’s eye

We share the animals life-span

No one knows the fate of the beast

Back to the earth or raised to glory

We are made of clay

And share in its instability

From nothing but matter we were designed

And back to organic sludge we will return

How are we different

From those we lead to the slaughter?

Jeremiah 9:10

Drowning in our own pollution

Our mega-cities vacant as a ghost town

All this comes from sin

And God’s wrath

God mourns for the livestock

Which he can no longer hear in the fields

Wild animals roam

In what has become badlands

Daniel 1:8

With nothing but the fruit of the vine

We need not feast on another’s life

Daniel was stronger than the king’s best men

Living on nothing but herbs and clean water

Wisdom and understanding, health and vitality

Do not arise from piles of carcasses and the devil’s water

Matthew 25:40-43

Your dog was hungry

And all you gave him was the scraps from your table

Your dog was hot in the car

And you let the heat damage his brain

You left you dog chained up outside

And he came back with frostbite

Your dog’s brother was in the kennel

And you left him to die

You’re dog needed to visit the vet

And you said you couldn’t afford it

As you have done to those which society does not value

So you have done to the Son of God

Hebrews 2:10-11

Christ was the supreme sacrifice

With his death, no animal needed give its life

As a sheep transformed into lamb chops

Jesus identified with our woolly friends

Paying the ultimate price

He asked us to eat His body

And drink His blood

And we are His sheep

To be sacrificed in our choices

3.5.4 Plush Moments Poetry Plush Valentine

Strong hooves and a beaming smile

I reach out wide to hug you

I give you my plush heart

And shower you with muzzle kisses

I know you like chocolate

Would you like your very own

Plush M and M friend

We can move to the beat

We can boogie-woogie the night away

We can sit together under the plastic tree

And find shade under the brown tent

Let’s share the grass

And roll around in plush meadows

You are always on my mind

Even in my dreams

From when we are set on the couch

To when we count the sheep

Each day my love for you grows

As our friendship progresses

I even care for your child

As if he were my own

Let’s be more than friends

Lets make memories together forever

And walk into the everlasting pastures

Hoof in hoof

New Calf

I am so excited

About your new friend

The little calf

Who follows you around

And looks up to you

And shines when he sees your smile

He can barely stand for long

His legs are wobbly

And his balance isn’t developed

But he has the heart

Of a seasoned ox

With each new step

You record his progress

And he surprises you each day

He still talks in simple words

And is puzzled with most of life

Everything is new to him

And he feels awkward and uncomfortable

When he is alone

He looks to you for guidance

And he is impressed by your wisdom

I look forward to meeting

Your little one

To watch him graze

For the first time

And jump over the fence

For greener grass

Today an Ox

Today is the day

You become an ox

I have seen you grow

In stature and wisdom

Over these last few years

As the grass grows and withers

You have learned about

Your fellow grazers

The folly of revolution

How to cheer each other up

To not wander outside

Developing your inner joy

Seeing beyond toys and entertainment

To a bond of friendship

And taking time to rest

Along the way

You have a love of learning

And have grown capable

To lead entire herds

As each day passes

I enjoy each stage of your growth

You are now capable

Of making decisions for others

And see the bigger pasture

And seek to stop the suffering

Of the steer

3.5.5 Ralph Nader Vision

I was discouraged

For a long time

About working through the system

To affect the

Betterment of humanity

So little had been done

Through law and science

That I had believed

That the only route

For substantial change

And the method for

Making a dent in

Human and animal suffering

Was by God’s direct intervention

That science was

Part of the problem

And the legal system

Was corrupt beyond repair

But then I saw a movie

About a man I voted for

And admired him

For the party he ran under

I was blown away by all

This one man has affected

And how many others

Were affected by his vision

Part one man crusader

But with an army

Of foot soldier activists

He got passed almost

Every consumer safety,

Environmental and humanitarian

Law that has helped curb

The tide against the

Excesses of corporate America

Occupational Safety and Health Administration

Thank God for Nader

We have a safer workplace

Because of him

We have protection

From being caught in machinery

There are limits on

What concentration of toxic chemicals

We are exposed to

We have protective equipment

Like goggles, face shields, and ear plugs

Power is cut off

Before making adjustments or repairs

To moving machinery

When working in enclosed areas

Like tanks, manholes, pits, and bins

There is enough air

And workers are checked on

Now we know what chemicals

And what infectious diseases

We are being exposed to

Miners are protected

From cave ins

Clean up of accidental releases

Of chemicals that are

Toxic, reactive or flammable

Are managed safely

He helped prevent

Repetitive stress injuries

He brought justice

For those who died

Because of manager negligence

All this happened

Because of him

Consumer Product Safety Commission

Alcohol, tobacco, and firearms

Automobiles, and food and drugs

Are regulated by the government

But what about everything else?

That is what the

Consumer Product Safety Commission does

Thank God for Ralph Nader

Its mission is to protect

Against unreasonable risk of injury

Its weapons are developing standards

Banning unsafe products

Recalling products already purchased

Researching possible problems with

Various consumer products

There is a phone number and website

For consumers to report problems

And they collect statistics

On injuries suffered by

Emergency room patients

Related to consumer products

All this happened

Because of him

Freedom of Information Act

Thank God for Ralph Nader

Did you know that you

Could ask the federal

Government for information

And that they are required

By law to send it to you?

As long as it is not classified

Or is part of our defense

Or national security

Or confidential information

Which would violate someone’s

Personal privacy like medical records

And you have to be a US citizen

You can check the FBI web pages

And they release information all the time

Most of the information on UFOs

Came from this law

This law helps keep information

That doesn’t need to be kept secret

For our safety from giving the feds

Too much power over us

It is just another way to limit

The power of government

And make it more accountable

To its tax payers

All this happened

Because of him

Environmental Protection Agency

We take the fact

That the government

Helps protect the environment

As something that we can depend on

But it was not always that way

Thank God for Ralph Nader

The government has an

Agency of 17, 000 people

Composed of engineers, scientists,

And environmental protection specialists

Lawyers, PR people, accountants,

And computer experts

The main areas of work done

Are assessment, research, and education

It sets and enforces many

Environmental laws along with

State and federal agencies

It also lets some of the responsibilities

For permits, monitoring and enforcement

Fall on the shoulders of other

State and federal agencies

Some of the things the EPA has helped with

Include a Energy Star,

A voluntary program for

Reducing the energy consumption

Of appliances and computers

They rate the fuel economy of cars

Based on how much they pollute

They test the concentration of air pollution

They outlawed the chemical DDT

Which killed off wildlife

They regulate the release of the

Toxic heavy metal mercury

All this happened

Because of him

Safe Drinking Water Act

The Safe Drinking Water Act

Ensures that all Americans

Have access to water that is

Safe to drink

Thank God for Ralph Nader

They limit the amount

Of toxic chemicals

That can be present in our

Drinking water

And even tougher goals

Which allow money to

Be taken from abusers

To clean up pollution with

None of the toxic heavy metal

Lead is allowed in water pipes

People who report violations

Are protected from retaliation

All communities must

Publish reports of water quality

Every year

New drinking water standards

Must be evaluated by how

Much they cost in relation to

Their expected benefits

States are given federal money

To clean up or monitor

Their local water sources

Drinking water is to be free

Of both infectious diseases

As well as toxic cleaning agents

Used to kill off harmful

Micro organisms

Water system operators

Must be certified to make sure

They keep the water safe

Information is released to the public

About what chemicals are in the water

Where their water originates

How it is cleaned

And how a private citizen

Can help keep it clean

Small water systems

Are given extra federal funds

To comply with the drinking water act

All this happened

Because of him

3.5.6 Furry Friends Poetry Zen Dog

Sweeping tail

And running in circles

She wolfs down the biscuit

Her colleague is crunching patiently

A frisbee takes off

She catches it in mid air

She sees water

And she runs in

A rock takes leave of my hand

She dives in and finds another near by

A flock of birds takes off nearby

She points

What is it like to have such a friend

With so much excitement

With no ego

And no wasted time?

Each day she grows more alert

Staying away from alcohol

And hard bones

She takes care of herself

And it shows

With each sudden step

She has an inner confidence

In every aspect of her life

She grows each day

Her mind is full

Of her best friends face

Taking her along on long rides

She frequently stops at familiar parks

And for people they have come to know

Collecting twigs and leaves

They both are friends of the earth

Each time they meet

There is a warm embrace

The food is plentiful for both

She sees her colleague

In good moods and in bad ones

Their fur is the same color

One woolly and one silky

But they come from different cultures

And have a diversity of proud lineage

They share a meal

And each other’s toys

Feelings are shared without hesitation

And communication is always open

Fat Cat

Most Persians are nice

But I am not

My smooched face

Is a product of my distemperament

I go to bed angry

And my face get stuck like that

I am definitely a Republican

I don’t think anyone deserves to live at the expense of others

Except me

I know that I am cute

And I use this to my advantage

I use my looks

To get them to let me in

And then I pee in the corner

When no one is looking

I only like to eat expensive food

Like seafood out of the can

I don’t keep my fur up

I am too good to have to groom myself

I let my peasant person do it for me

She combs out the knots

I growl when she helps me

So she knows I am higher class than her

I love baskets

And still delude myself into thinking

I am always safe in them

As I was taught as a child

If you pick me up

Out of my basket

I grab on to it

I don’t let go

And then drop it down

For you to trip on

Little Chipmunk

I enjoy living here

There are so many nuts

And other chipmunks

To play with

I spend most of my day

Gathering nuts and burying them

I like to watch the people

But if they get close enough

To catch me

I run up the tree nearby

Sometime when we get bored

We throw nuts at the windows

And laugh

As the neighbor kids get blamed

We purposely bury our nuts on the lawn

In little mounds

So when it is mowed

Our nuts are chopped up for us

We are starting to get sick now

As your bug and weed poisons

Are making our kids disruptive in school

And our kids become violent

After watching human children play

Please don’t chop down the nut trees

We have lost most of our forest friends

Don’t let us lose our families too

3.5.7 Other Poetry Destructive Toys

When we were young

We made mistakes

But we were limited

By the power of our toys

As we grew up

So did our toys

As we began to learn

We got better at destruction

We found creating problems

Was easier than solving them

We began to compete

Bigger, better, faster

At any cost

First we dominated

The land and the animals

Then our mothers and sisters

Then we moved on to our young

And then to outsiders

Eventually we conquered

Whole ecosystems

It wasn’t enough

To dissect and reassemble

Believing man could make better

Than what God created

We created powerful poisons

To destroy each other

With greater efficiency

People became afraid

Of each other

Instead of fearing

The wilderness and the elements

As we became stronger

Than God’s creation

We became more arrogant

As we learned what we destroyed

And how to prevent it

We lashed out

On the animals and the land

And now little is left

And much more is wiped out

Faster and faster

Global Crises

I am tired now

I have stretched so much

To get where I am now

But my ambitions

Keep moving farther ahead

There is so much evil

In the world today

And most people in my country

Are a big part of the problem

We get used to having so much

And we struggle to give up

Even a little, now and then

But the planet can only

Withstand so much

And we are some of the most fragile

Forms of life on Earth

The planet may live on

Minus humanity and its people

Prayer is the only thing

That can save us now

We need God to intervene now

Because the problem is too great

For any human group to solve

We wait until the last minute

And then we do something radical

But it backfires and things get worse

This is what I fear of

For the future of humanity

There is so little time left

And so much left to do

If only I can reach someone

Who can commit to prayer

And inspire people to help in small ways

I am certain that God will be faithful

And multiply the effort applied

I believe that miracles

Are not just for the Bible times

But that God is amongst us

In purpose and in power

That Christ is willing and able

To bring us from destruction

If only we submit ourselves

To God and His plan

And we are patient for His timing

Chapter 4

Theoretical Breakthroughs

by Ben Huot

4.1 First Things 4.1.1 Logo

I should explain what the logo is meant to be representing. The guy is a pen, which is me, which comes from my first poem in Philosophy Core, called Creative Process, where I refer to myself as doing Tai Chi, with my pen being my body. The idea is based on “the pen is mightier than the sword” so I created “the Bible is mightier than the pen”.

The Bible is shooting out flames because in Ephesians it talks about spiritual warfare and the Bible is the only armament that is offensive. (It means offensive instead of defensive. These are common terms used in combat. The sword is the only spiritual weapon. All the other armaments expressed in Ephesians are protective and defensive in nature like a shield, a helmet, a breastplate, etc.) The flames are meant as in James when it talks about being purified by fire or struggles with temptation in our lives. Isaiah also was purified by a live coal to his lips by a Seraphim. So the usage of fire is not evil or anything violent. Think of it as purifying.

I would ideally like it to show the sword turned inward to his chest, symbolizing like in many fantasy books that when they defeat the great evil force in the world, they are left with the greatest task, which is to defeat the evil within. The Bible is said to be a 2 sided sword, with the ability to cut between bone and marrow, and show the truth. Christ’s tongue is said to be a 2 edged sword in Revelations, to defeat the Devil with. The reason I didn’t show this is it looks like he is committing suicide.

The spiritual warfare is not against people, ideas, or even spirits. It is about fighting for the purity of our own minds. It is an internal thing. Like the Native American proverb “my greatest enemy is myself.” This purity is in regard to our own sins and does not refer to purity in any other sense. But this is a process, not an outcome, as it is not possible for us to live without sin.

This warfare is only spiritual in the sense that it is not militant, social, economic, or political. This is for my own moral and ethical development and consists of practical qualities I try, with Christ’s help, to cultivate like humility, compassion, kindness, and seriousness and do not correspond to anything supernatural.

4.1.2 Other Books

My text books and picture books contain most of my work over the past 10 years. These include my reading of some 235 books containing the philosophical and religious thinking of the worldÕs cultures for several thousand years and the application of the main themes of some of the major Old Testament Prophets and major works of the New Testament.

The main point of this work is to get people to stopping living their lives with their minds, but instead follow their hearts. I bring a radically different combination of viewpoints that you have not heard of before. I am not asking people to follow what I have written, but rather let the words stir up some sort of emotional response in your heart.

I challenge my readers to come up with their own unique ideas and that can lead the world in a new direction. We need a much broader diversity of ideas in our culture to deal with the problems we are facing in America and throughout the rest of the world.

4.1.3 For More Information

For more books and information, visit me on the web at http://benjamin-newton.com/

Feel free to send me e-mail regarding the books and website at ben@benjamin-newton.com I even enjoy constructive criticism

4.1.4 Cover Graphic

4.1.5 License

This entire PDF is licensed together under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License as a whole, and nothing is to be separated, added on to, or modified in any manner.

Clarification on what no derivatives means:

No changes may be made in any way including but not limited to:

the material content and design must be copied as a whole (everything contained in this pdf file)

1. with nothing added

2. without anything taken away

must be kept in its original form with no additions or subtractions to

1. file formats

2. HTML and CSS code

3. PDF files

4. graphics and movies

5. sounds, music, and spoken word

6. interactivity and flash

7. file and directory structure

8. filenames and directory names

9. links

10. distribution method

4.1.6 A Unique Approach

to Asian Philosophy, Religion, and Literature

There seems to be a tendency among those in the West to go to extremes in their approach to studying the Asian classics. Many Christians see any other ideas that don’t come directly from the Bible as either not important to study or that lump all non-Christian books together as New Age and therefore see them as forbidden. Many non-Christians think that anything that is not the Bible or is not an Abrahamic religion to be legitimate for study. I have chosen a third option. Not every belief system should be totally rejected or totally embraced.

I think that there are many things that a number of Asian classics can teach people that have ideas that can be compatible with the Bible. I think what Christians don’t understand is that there were centuries of time and billions of people who never heard of the Gospel and did their best to find the truth as they knew it. Many traditional cultures in Africa and the former communist countries in Asia are very open to the Gospel and did not intend to worship anything the Bible would describe as forbidden or evil.

I think that many non-Christians are ignorant about the dangers of just embracing any belief system without being a critical thinker. Not everything is as it appears at first. Ironically, many things that turn non-Christians away from Christian beliefs and the Bible, are actually forbidden by the Bible. Many of the things that bother non-Christians about the Bible are true about other belief systems as well. There are also negatives about belief systems other than Christianity that Christians don’t have to deal with.

Another thing to realize is that it is considered perfectly acceptable to mix and match different aspects of different Asian belief systems other than the Abrahamic religions, while the Bible forbids just taking select aspects of Christianity that they prefer. So, for a Christian to bridge this gap, they should embrace all Biblical doctrines but only select the elements of the other Eastern belief systems that are compatible with Christianity, or, in other words, say something similar.

Another thing to realize is that although you may find similar meanings in Asian classics other than the Bible, that they don’t necessarily mean the same thing the Bible does and almost definitely are not meant to be understood in the same context. Taoists were not all trying to find Christ and in Hinduism, the 3 major gods are not equivalent to the Christian Trinity. Another consequence of this principle is that there is not the same perspective on what is forbidden, so although some philosophies and religions may be useful to Christians while some of the combinations of those beliefs, could likely be forbidden by the Bible. What the Bible forbids are the things that people keep hidden or do in secret. Some of the terms for this are esoteric or mysteries.

What is the point of Christians reading about other belief systems? One of the reasons is that Biblical doctrines have already been compromised and changed in order to mix better with Greek philosophy and paganism. Some of the things that has been compromised is that many Christians think it is ok to study Greek mythology and the Church has tried to ignore the supernatural aspects of the Bible and its implications. Another corruption of Christian doctrine caused by the Greek pagan and philosophical influence is that the paradoxical doctrines of the Bible have been altered to a divisive theology where people think they can pick one or the other when the Bible clearly specifies both.

Studying Asian philosophies helps a Christian to see the Bible more closely to what it really is - an Asian religion. Another reason is to study non-White cultures and understand why many non-Europeans believe different than Christians and how this affects world history and politics. If you understand what people believe and elements of their culture, it is easier to share Christian beliefs with them. Another reason is that Paul was an intellectual and understood the belief systems of his time and showed us by his example that we should do the same.

So, where do you start? To find some great books written by Asians, look at my Book of Books, which has 78 Asian classics, other than Bible books. You will find all the information about how to obtain them and which ones to choose, based on your interests. I promise that if you stick to the list, you won’t find anything that is forbidden by the Bible.

4.2 Intellectual Breakthroughs 4.2.1 Philosophical Positions Hermeneutic (Method of Interpretation)

• I use primary sources to derive theology or philosophy for a particular belief system

• I focus on what I see as the pure or original interpretation of the philosophy or theology

• I do not research current or past deviations of each major belief system

Practice and Bible Derived Reasoning

General Methods

• My method of ethical reasoning is derived from practical considerations.

• My method of theological reasoning comes from Biblical considerations.

• My method brings these perspectives to their logical conclusions.

• My theory is based on what the Bible says about theology and what helps influence a person do the right thing.

• I back track the way people should act according to the Bible and what the Bible says about God into a theory that is most consistent with these outcomes.

Applications according to Theory

• My theology, Towards a Philosophy of the Bible, mirrors what the Bible says about God and a solution to suffering that best answers this problem.

• My ethics, Still Theory, are based on a combination of the philosophies most consistent with the Bible and having the least major ethical dilemmas and answers postmodern questions about suffering and uncertainty.

• My psychology, Liberation Psychology/Theology, enables the person to be their own advocate and focuses on religion as a secondary approach to solving lingering problems with Schizophrenia, as the most effective practice is to take the medication.

• My aesthetics, Bible Model Aesthetics, works to solve practical issues like accessibility, morality, and quality from a Biblical perspective.

• My sociology/biology, Community through the Humanities, focuses on finding harmony with the groups of people we come into contact with in real world situations and applying ethics from Still Theory.

• My theory of education, Learning of the Heart, is based on the realities of life and how people can know what is right and wrong.

Contrasting Theories of Education

Learning of the Mind

• The establishment assumes that public education through high school prepares a person for the world

• The establishment assumes that everyone should be educated in the same manner

• The establishment assumes that they know best what the public needs to learn

• The establishment assumes that what they believe is right and wrong should be imposed on everyone else

• The establishment assumes that public education improves people’s social status and morality

• The establishment assumes that with slight modifications, they will get radically different societies

Learning of the Heart

I believe that being prepared for the world is a combination of different things, which the public school system fails at all of them, including:

• understand how the establishment works, how to use it to improve one’s life, and avoid it changing the individual or placing more limits than normal on the individual

• develop critical thinking skills and determine what is right and wrong by conscience

• develop a useful skill for financial support and independence

• I believe that different people should be taught different things

• I believe that people know what is right and wrong at birth

• I believe that the world’s idea of right and wrong is contrary to God’s

• I believe that people’s social status is determined by who they know and what status their parents have and their morality is determined by personal choice

• I believe that in order to radically change society, we must make major changes

Unified Social Theory of Natural Science

• All creatures that feel pain should be kept from any unnecessary suffering

• The difference between humans and animals is a matter of degree

• Human beings are not defined by any distinct characteristics in the Bible

• The distinguishing factor between people and animals is a social construct

• People have social and physical power over animals and are responsible for their well being

• Flora should be treated with respect to their well being as well as fauna

• Water and cells should be carefully looked after as they are the building blocks of life

• The earth should be treated with the same respect as other life forms

• Preservation of life does not mean no harm is done

• Although animals and people may be perceived as the same, the human has a responsibility to look after the animal

• Not subjecting sentient beings to physical pain is just the beginning of a social ethic

• Humans should use their resources to actively advocate for the well being of all sentient beings

4.2.2 College Education Conservative Curriculum

Some study to learn

What others have dreamed of

Some study to learn

What is popular

Some study to learn

The values of the past

Some study to learn

The traditions of their ancestors

Some study to learn

What they already believe

Some study to learn

What is well understood

Some study to learn

To be respected by others

Some study to learn

The path well traveled

Some study to learn

From a specific ideology

Some study to learn

From what others tell them

Some study to learn

To be opinion leaders

Some study to learn

To memorize information

Some study to learn

Rules others have made

Some study to learn

What is practical

Some study to learn

What is widely accepted

Some study to learn

What isn’t controversial

Some study to learn

Without questioning

Liberal Arts

There are few colleges

Where you can create

Your own major

There are few colleges

That encourage you to think

There are few colleges

That care about

More than reputation

There are few colleges

That don’t bend over backwards

For a few dollars in grants

There are few colleges

Who dare to have a vision

There a few colleges

Who don’t depend on sports

For getting funding

And recruiting students

There are few colleges

Who are not indebted to

Government and big business

There are few colleges

Who control their own curriculum

There are few colleges

That challenge the status quo

There are few colleges

That prepare students

For unpredicted changes

In the future of society

There are few colleges

That take pride in

Creating controversy

On campus

There are few colleges

That spend as much

On human development

Than on Scientific research

College Football

America is a society

Oriented around sports

We believe that competition

Brings positive change

We believe that physical fitness

Is more important than education

We believe that winning

Is the most important method for change

We are aggressive in business and politics

We are not interested in the community

The leaders only care about

Their own status and wealth

Our young all believe

That they will play

American football for money

They either want to get money

For being famous

Or get a welfare check

Our athletes make millions of dollars

For running a ball across a line

The players feel tough

Because they run into each other

We think that being a man

Means memorizing sports statistics

We spend most our time

Talking about what teams win

And about our football team

We played on in high school

We believe that we peaked in college

And that the only thing important

Is whose team won the game

Lost Opportunities

How will we compete

When every one

Has a college degree?

Will we have to get doctorates

For a family wage job?

How are we to pay

For our education

When our families

Are too rich

To receive aid

But too poor

To afford to help?

Will anyones be rewarded

For a liberal arts degree?

The only degrees that pay

Are business and engineering

Is that what

We want to base

Our future on

Technology alone

With no room

For the arts or religion?

We only care about

What is the quickest way

To build things

Bigger, better, and faster

We have no culture

And no reason to create

We have no imagination

Or reason to live

Other than for

Getting drunk after work

Or losing ourselves

In virtual worlds

We are afraid

To confront reality

And solve real problems

We are told

The problems are too complex

And we need

To solve problems

Through politics and business

We don’t have the creativity

Or the time and energy

To pursue positive change

4.2.3 Philosophy of Religion Theology includes Philosophy

Everyone has a perspective

Everyone has opinions

There is nothing theological

That is not influenced by philosophy

We do not live in a vacuum

And ideas come from somewhere

There are no new philosophies

Just restatements done with less eloquence

There is no way to only study the Bible

We are only fooling ourselves

And no one else

We cannot distance ourselves

From our own foolishness

We are corrupt to the core

It is not possible to read the Bible

Without prejudice and without feelings

The Bible is not meant to be

A list of rules or a systematic theology

Don’t you think there is a reason

That there are so many views on

Every branch of theology?

The Bible is not meant to be interpreted

The same by the entire church

The Bible is not about a set theology

No one will ever uncover

The full philosophy of the Bible

The greatest theologians

Have only scratched the surface

And were wrong more times

Than they were right

Verses don’t mean just one thing

The Bible should not

Be read in any set order

Verses should not stand alone

There are no hidden meanings

But few meanings have been found

There is more to a single phrase

Than can be understood

By the human mind in all eternity

And the Bible is only one small part

Of who God is

To say we were only influenced by the Bible

Or that we believe what the Bible says

Does not adequately explain our beliefs

We have presuppositions and experiences

But these aren’t necessarily stumbling blocks

Feelings are great and mental exercises are of use

But we need to reflect on our background

Or we will be repeating the mistakes

Of even the greatest of theologians

It is ok to not be right on even the main points

To disagree creates a healthy diversity

The church does not need core beliefs

Our doctrines only hold us back

There is more to life than theology

And there is more to the Bible

Than your statements of faith

Honesty

When you make claims

Which you use Scripture

To support your position

It is not honest

When you don’t state

Your intentions up front

And explain your background

We are not merely spiritual beings

We are not just vessels

Of God’s will

We have our own

Hopes, desires, and dreams

We are not pure spirits

With empty minds

There is a psychology

To religious beliefs

Ideas don’t come

Out of a vacuum

We cannot wall ourselves

Off from unbelievers

We cannot understand

Our culture expect by

Reading books

Besides the Bible

Our minds are sponges

And we absorb ideas

From places we are

Often unaware

This is the use of

The study of philosophy

We get impressions

From many venues

We just assume

They are all from the Bible

Just because we are Christians

What we come up with

Is not independent

Of our culture and history

Ideas influence us

In subtle and surprising ways

We do not need to read a book

To be influenced by capitalism

Or to evaluate atheism

We are part of a larger

Ecosystem of dialogue

Great thinkers build

On what others have said

Christian and otherwise

Great theologians study philosophy

Some of the greatest philosophers

Were trained as theologians first

The early church adopted

Many ideas from Greek paganism

There is no way to be purely Christian

Without affection and sympathies

Freedom of Choice

Scripture is not meant

To be understood intellectually

Nor by our feelings alone

Although Scripture ministers

To all areas of our person

We should keep our focus

On the heart and the will

It is good to have diversity

Especially in opinion and perspective

The Bible is not meant

To be interpreted in just one way

We don’t need an entire denomination

To be in agreement on any doctrine

Don’t you think there is a reason

Why no one can agree

Or that theologians were interested

In such different topics

Throughout divergent eras?

The more widespread the views

The harder it is to see a pattern

God deliberately designed the Bible

To be poetic instead of legalistic

God could have just written

A list of rules and left it at that

We could just turn off our brains entirely

But that is not God’s nature

He wants us to make rational decisions

And for different people

To go into different directions

And to see the Bible from different views

We have to realize that God speaks

To our entire person

That God is spirit and flesh

Christianity is not meant to be an organization

Or to have a rigid structure

Even the Bible explains salvation

Differently every time

All believers will enter Heaven by grace

But each will do it in a different way

4.2.4 Striking Back What is Rational?

W hat is the definition of rational?

Believing that man is the highest good

Or that his intellect can grasp everything

Do you think you can disprove God

By quoting a famous atheist?

You win an argument

But just show your own limitations

And your own weak intellect

Not everything is meant to be

Analyzed in the Scientific method

What cannot be disproved

Is greater than that which can be proven

Guess and check can only go so far

And scientists are as bigoted

And resistant to change and new ideas

Than as are any other bureaucrats

The ideas of Science may have

At one time been an area for non-comformists

But it is no longer

Everyone believes in Science

And that is a great weakness

The masses can be convinced of anything

Scientists fail to realize

That it was their community that

Made a fool of Galileo

The first scientist was a smart ass

When your belief system

Can only understand matter-energy

Aren’t you smart enough

To realize that it cannot explain

Anything important

It is not wrong to have a theory

To explain something

But when you use it as an excuse

To hide from spiritual realities

Who is the greater fool?

It doesn’t matter how good you are at debate

Or how many facts you have on your side

Some things just don’t make sense

Just because the entire Scientific establishment

Believes in one thing, the masses think it is true

No matter how many times

Society confuses facts with truth

The number of believers is growing worldwide

It is interesting that those who think

They are so enlightened

As to be better informed than God

And think that they are the enemy of the establishment

That their ideas resonate best with

The people who create the problems

They are trying to fix

If the same system that said the world is flat

Now even admits they cannot observe

95% of the mass of the universe

Why should I believe them about evolution?

For a community that shuns innovators

And anything unusual or different

And is mainly motivated by prestige

Why would I believe anything

They print in numbers

And collect evidence for?

If scientists would study other philosophies

They would start to realize that the world

Is much bigger than Science

And that the real problems in life

Are not going to be solved by more technology

That we are never going to resolve

The true cause of suffering through education

That the innovation that will bring solutions

Is something that was written down 2,000 years ago

That the most unusual ideas were some of the oldest

That we are just re-inventing what China

Designed thousands of years ago

Without the Scientific method

If the Chinese were not smart enough

To keep the empire going

How are we going to be able to survive

A few more generations of Science?

One of the big problems with Science

Is it has no ethical foundation

Just as you cannot add security onto technology

Not designed with a firm foundation

Ethics are not just an add on

People do not become ethical by

Attending a one semester course

Or even after earning a Ph.D. in philosophy

It is not that we do not know enough

To do find a solution to our problems

But that we need a way to stop

Ourselves from creating more problems

Self control is the key to our survival

But the solution is not an invention

But supernatural intervention

Where Blame is Due

If Christianity is to blame for everything

People claim it is

Then why is there so much more evil

Done by countries which are primarily atheist?

Before jumping on the bandwagon

And blaming every problem on Christianity

People should actually read what the Bible says

The Bible never says it is ok to mistreat animals

Augustine and Thomas Aquinas hated animals

But their theology is based more on Greek paganism

Than it is on any possible interpretation

Of the Bible come up with by the biggest idiot

The Bible holds humans responsible for taking care

Of the entire ecosystem

Not only are we responsible for what we have done

But we must correct any problems no matter

How they were caused

Unlike what the religious wrong say

The Bible states very clearly in several places

That there is no distinction between man and woman

Or peoples of any race or any other background

Contrary to popular belief, the Bible noes not say

That corporations should control the government

Or that the wealthy got that way because

They were following God’s laws

The Bible says over and over and gives many examples

Of moral people who loved God and suffered terribly

Many times exactly because of it

Contrary to popular belief, claiming to be born again

Does not get you to Heaven according to the Bible

You have to humble yourself before God

And believe you are equal to your fellow man

Before you can be saved

According to the Bible, environmental destruction

And stealing from people’s retirements are sins

And are greater than that of committing adultery one time

Unlike what many people think

The Bible does not tell you everything to do

And is designed for there to be different interpretations

Of many ideas in theology

Similar to Taoism, the theology of the Bible is no-dualistic

Even though many Christians treat Paul’s letters

Like analytical arguments, they are really mystical

Unlike what many Christians believe

The Bible encourages study of other religions and

Being intellectual by Paul’s example alone

The religious ideas the Bible disparages come from

Occult religions like Greek Paganism

Which has been synchronized with Christianity

By Augustine and Thomas Aquinas

God and Country

The religious wrong have long believed

That America was a Christian nation

What America really was and this includes

The religious wrong

Is founded on the idea of

Not wanting to pay taxes

The founding fathers were anarchists

So to follow in their foot steps

Would be to overthrow the current government

The United States has always been

An aggressive and violent nation

Something we inherited from the English

We thought we were better than

The rest of the world

It was our duty to spread our power

No matter what the cost

Following in the footsteps of the English

We held people as slaves even though

We claimed to be a democracy

We used biological weapons on the

Native Americans and dishonored treaties

These are not things a Christian nation would do

They do not honor God

And they do not promote human dignity

Now the religious wrong want us to protect

Humans that are not even born

But thinks it is ok to torture baby animals

In their use for food and experiments

Both of which are unnecessary

They believe that monopolies/dictatorships are good

And that our bill of rights is unimportant

They are against giving to charities

They instead want to tax the poor

And give it to the rich to make bigger weapons with

They are using a couple of attacks worldwide

As an excuse to invade another nation

When it had no intention of attacking anyone

So our dictator could settle an old score

The American House of Bush

Loves to redefine worlds until they have no meaning

They have over written every law against pollution

So a couple rich white men can get even richer

He has held teachers responsible for how

Prepared the kids are for school without

Factoring in different socioeconomic conditions

Which will ultimately destroy the school system

After doing all this our dictator has the audacity

To claim he is a born again Christian

There is absolutely nothing Christian

About the way this creep acts

Medieval Morality

Enlightenment writers love to denigrate

The European Medieval period

By referring to it as the Dark Ages

Because they hated God so much

And they were enamored by material wealth

And advanced technology used in warfare

They blamed all their problems on God

Modern authors refer to the time

As being backwards and violent

What they really hate is that it was

A relative time of material poverty for Europe

After the fall of the Roman Empire

The entirety of Europe struggled to survive

But people don’t see the bright side

Without the wealth to destroy others

And depending on the harvest for their food

People began to rely upon God

And had respect for God and nature

People still had evil in their hearts

But the scale of destruction was

Exponentially less than in “enlightened times”

In fact, although historians love to blame

Christianity for the big wars of the next 500 years

The Church was losing more and more power

As things began to be more and more violent

People saw Science as a way they could

One up God and avoid those inconvenient

Sexual and financial morals

See the main problem with Science is

That it has no formal ethics as part

Of its system of discovery

The superiority of philosophy

Is that it has an ethics

The superiority of religion

Is that is also has a reason

The superiority of Christianity

Is that is also gives a way

A Matter of Faith

Many people believe

That evolution should be

Accepted because

Most scientists believe it

They say it should just be

A matter of evidence

I believe it as a matter of faith

First of all, Science did not

Just arrive out of nowhere

And was not always

The way everything was decided

Neither are we more advanced

For relying on it for everything

Science was invented and came out

Of a particular western philosophical

School called the Enlightenment

Contrary to popular belief

Most technologies of the modern world

Were not invented by Europeans or

By their precious Science

They were dreamed up and produced

First by the Chinese

In fact, the Industrial Revolution

Came about from our discovery

Of Chinese technologies

Invented hundreds or even thousands

Of years earlier

There are many other methods

Of discovery and verification

Jainism has a number all by itself

The five senses, testimony, ESP,

telepathy, and an all knowing ascended being

Mystics have a number as well

Faith, intuition, and prophetic visions

Most schools of Hinduism

Verify knowledge by

Perception, inference, comparison, and testimony

So we see that Science is only

One school out of many

In the panorama of philosophy

Even if I would be convinced

If provided the evidence

In the Scientific form

It would not be possible

For me to accept evolution

Except by blind faith

Because it requires a Ph.D.

In Science to have the background

To make an informed position

Otherwise it is just oversimplified

And I have seen this done

In philosophy and religion

So I would only trust my own

Research into the theory of evolution

Circular Argument

Most people believe anything

Someone with a Scientific education says

How do they prove things?

By facts, of course

How have they proven

That facts are truth?

Because that is Scientific

Facts determine details about

Specific events and measurements

But how does one prove Love?

How does one disprove it?

Many people believe if there

Are no facts for proving something

Than it must not be true

But facts are less important

Than things determined by faith

Things determined by experience

Things determined by reflection

Things determined by immersion

In a particular field of work

Things determined by scripture

Things determined by miraculous

Answers to prayer

If there is nothing to prove

That facts are true

Other than a circular argument

Then why do we base our society

On this shaky ground

And why do we force

This viewpoint on young children?

Our world is getting worse and worse

The more we use facts

To determine policy and direction

Shouldn’t we base our ideas

By what works and what doesn’t

In the real world

With cold, hard truth

Not by just flimsy facts

After all, it’s not like it’s hard

To present lies as facts

Only One Answer

There are few things in life

That only have one answer

This is one of the things

People like so much about Science

But this a false premise

As Science is only one way

Of discovery

And is only applicable

To one way of thinking

Coming from the culture of

One part of the world

Having multiple answers

Is the great thing about art,

Philosophy, and religion

The humanities are the only

Fields that treat other cultures

With dignity and respect

They are the only ones

That explain what being

Sentient is like

They answer the most

Important questions

Better because they can

Have multiple answers

Most things in life are paradoxes

Which aren’t very compatible

With Science and math

How can you reduce

Most fundamental problems

Down to one solution?

How can you explain

Feelings in numbers and attributes?

How do you express mystery

With a system that is designed

To explain everything?

Ever wonder why economists

Can’t predict the future

With mathematical models

Or why it is so hard to

Communicate with psychologists?

Ever wonder why scientists

Are surprised when they

Discover animals are sentient

Or can have mental disorders?

We have an ancient heritage

Of wisdom and understanding

That is aware of things

Science can only dream of

To rely on a system that

Ignores questions of the spirit

Or things that cannot be tested

Under controlled conditions

To guide society into a better world

Shows that our world no longer

Values the truth and is only looking

For easy solutions and doesn’t care

About how bad the consequences are

4.3 Social Breakthroughs 4.3.1 Religion Philosophy of Life and Death

Many Christians see salvation as an end and not just a beginning. They absolve themselves of doing any help in the world, because they see the world as corrupt and take the easy answer of letting the world fall apart. They look knowingly at each other and think they are so much better, because they are saved.

This is based on the theology of saved by faith alone, but it is not consistent, even within its own system. If God saved us, because we repent of our sins, then why do we think we are better than others? We are all equally bad and God’s criteria for reaching out to us is just that we humble ourselves before God and consider ourselves equal to unbelievers. If we can’t even do that, how can we consider ourselves to be born again or followers of Christ?

If Christ, who is God Himself, did not even consider Himself equal to God and submitted Himself to the authority of men, then where do we get off thinking that we are better than unbelievers. Often, theologians compare Christ’s descent to being human as equivalent to us descending to being a bug, but this is a gross exaggeration of our worth and gross simplification of God’s glory above man. Christ being born as a human is more equivalent to use giving up our existence permanently.

God is not limited by any thing and He is so far above us that we amount to a grand total of zero in comparison to God. It is a miracle that any of us is actually saved and the effort is almost entirely on God’s side. It is not that our submission to God means anything, but just a rightful understanding of our place in the universe; it is the grace of God that does the work.

It is important that we make a choice, to submit ourselves before God, but this is just the beginning of the path. Just because we can’t get beyond grace, salvation, and faith, does not mean that we do not make the effort to grow. Just because the world is going to end soon is no reason to let everybody suffer, without attempting any way, to help reduce the suffering.

The majority of the Bible tells about how we should live our lives, while on earth. If we really want mass conversions to the Christianity of the Bible, we are going to have to show unbelievers that we truly value life.

For a person to choose a philosophy of death and to totally give up on improving the world is a defeatist mentality. How can we expect to have victory in Christ if it doesn’t start by reaching out to our own communities in Christ reflected love?

Future World Religion Trends

By the year 2050, the term White Christian will be an oxymoron. If you take into account the actual faithfulness of people calling themselves Christian, the Christian world has already shifted to the Southern Hemisphere. In many of the countries throughout the world, they are not as honest at doing statistics as in the United States, where predominantly Muslim countries are going to severely undercount the number of Christians and the same will happen in the predominantly Hindu country of India.

Europe had not entirely converted to Christianity until the 14th century and there were more Christians in Asia than in Europe, until the years 1000. Most of the reduction of Christians in the Middle East happened in the late 19th and 20th century. The first big reduction of Christians in the Middle East came, after they supported the Mongol Empire. The conversion of non-Muslims to Islam was largely brought about by the missionary efforts of the Sufis. 10 percent of the populations of Egypt and Syria are still Christian. Islam is now experiencing a major fundamentalist revival and many more nations are going to be governed under Islamic law.

Many of the most populous African nations have a mixture of Christians and Muslims and there is not the same idea of separation between church and state in Africa than there is as in the West. When a predominantly Christian nation, with a large Muslim minority, declares itself to be a Christian nation or the exact opposite situation occurs, we are going continue to have major wars in Africa. And now we have nuclear, chemical, and biological weapons on the open black market.

At the same time, Europe is going to have more and more immigrants from Africa, for there to be enough labor pool to keep Europe’s economy going. America is going to continue to have a strong Christian minority, reinforced from a strong influx of Christian immigrants from all over the world, especially Latin America. The Pentecostal movement is very strong in Latin America. Europe and the United States are going to be dependent on oil for a long time and this will dramatically affect our alliances. We will continue to be afraid of angering the Muslim nations and will continue to bend over backwards, to keep our supply of oil coming.

Some of the biggest world religions by 2050 will be Pentecostalism, Catholicism and Islam, just counting in the population increase and not on any new converts. Buddhism, which not long ago had 20 percent of the population of Asia, now has shrunk to 5 percent, due to the spread of Communism in traditionally Buddhist countries. Whenever China allows more freedom of religion, it will not be surprising if we find out 10 percent of China is Christian already, even under extreme persecution.

The Christian South tends to be: much more conservative in sexual morality, supernaturally and community oriented, and by all evidence much more biblically based. The most popular book in the Bible in Christian Africa is Revelations. Much of this is due to cultural backgrounds of those in the Southern hemisphere, where: they are coming from animist religions and are in extreme poverty, they experience persecution regularly and have large refugee populations, all of which reinforce the relevance of the Biblical narrative of God’s work with Israel, in the Law and in the Prophets.

The Case for Liberal Christianity

If we follow the example of the early Church, as recorded in Acts, we see the early Christians as members of a ideal collective community like an Ashram, Kibbutz, or Monastery. If we follow Jesus example, we would carry out the Gospel, while doing good works, especially in service of those rejected by society. Convincing people to be born again was originally linked with helping out those in need in practical situations. Christianity is inherently liberal in its social aspects.

Now we see famous people, like the American president claim that they are born again Christians, the word Christianity loses all meaning. Voting conservative counters all the money sent to help starving people in Africa. Conservatives (in other word, people following atheistic convictions) voting either Republican or the very similar Democrat, in the United States, just perpetuate the establishment, which is referred to in the Bible as the world and Christ told us to be no part of. In fact, Jesus was most critical of the equivalent of the Church establishment, which at that time was in the form of the Jewish establishment - these are the people referred to as the Pharisees and Saducees.

Although I believe that Christianity is socially liberal, I hold to what the Bible says on salvation and eternity. I see helping others out who are in need, as another note in the same song on the same instrument.

I believe that our American society is pluralistic and that holding people to Biblical standards who aren’t born again doesn’t make any sense, if you believe in eternal salvation and a literal interpretation of the miraculous of the Bible. The Bible is not about a set of rules, but about a relationship with God. According to Jesus, following the Ten Commandments alone not only doesn’t get you to Heaven, but is impossible. And according to Paul, the only way we can keep from sin is by the direct divine intervention of our savior, Christ.

Not only is it non-sensical to expect people to follow the laws of the Bible, without becoming born again first, it actually goes against an orthodox interpretation of the Bible. Furthermore, if I had the choice of living in an idealistic society with conservative “Christians” as leaders and live in a predominantly atheistic society, I would definitely choose the later. The only kind of Christian dominated society I would want to live under would be directly under the authority of Christ, in the flesh.

The thing on the mind of most conservatives to change about society is to persecute or severely limit the rights of people who are homosexual. Although I believe that homosexuality is a sin, I believe divorce is also, but I don’t see many conservatives giving up sexual relations with their previously divorced spouse. And these are the same kinds of people with the same reasons for discriminating against people of color and women in previous generations.

Instead of targeting people, because I don’t agree with their values, I seek to help those out who society has rejected. The most rejected by society are animals. Cute little furry animals are kept as prisoners and tortured, so that the chemical and meat industries can collect more cash from unsafe products. Their habitat is destroyed all over the world, in a senseless rush to use up all the world’s potentially renewable resources in a couple generations. Also, prisoners are discriminated against. We often see them as the enemy in our society, but we all have sinned and are to forgive our neighbors. So we should help people who have made mistakes to get back a productive place in society and find a way to keep from getting sent back to jail.

4.3.2 Innocence Lost

I used to think that the common conception, that earlier decades of this century or earlier centuries were more innocent, was just nostalgia. But, as I now enjoy watching TV shows that I watched in my youth, I am reminded about how much simpler things were, even 15-20 years ago

Technology

One of the things that has really complicated life is the increased complexity in software, games, phones, mainly centered around the Internet.

I remember when I first used a computer, the main difference between using the computer for word processing rather than by hand or on a type writer was the ability to cut and paste. When you make the jump from producing for print, to producing for the web or email, the complexity increases at an exponential rate. Things like structured documents and file size matter much less, when you are not moving documents around primarily in an electronic format.

I think the problem is, that things are advancing so fast that we are not able to adjust our society, in a useful way. Criminals, people in the sex industry, and the military understand technology well and make good use of it. But for the average person, just understanding what the main features are, or even what the feature descriptions mean the software does is overwhelming, even for as simple a thing as a word processor, even for me.

I was reading about 2 things over the last several weeks, that sound like very useful technologies, one quite old and the other not even ready for use yet. One is Web 3.0 or the Semantic Web and the other is the RISC OS operating system.

The RISC OS is a operating system first made by the BBC and comes from the United Kingdom (also known as Great Britain). It is not well known anywhere, especially in the United States, but this system is easier to use and more suited to desktop publishing than the latest Mac. It is relatively expensive and is not compatible with many things, but it makes up for this in its well thought out design.

The Semantic Web is a way of getting computers to understand human language better, by making the information smarter. This means giving extra information for the computer, along with the writing designed to be read by humans. This is built on what is called an ontology, or system of knowledge, where the computer is shown how words are related. This is a very simple level of complexity for the computer to handle, but should make things easier for us. For example, when you search for pizza, the computer doesn’t understand that Italian food is related to pizza, so if you search for pizza places, it is not going to list the Italian restaurant.

This is a great idea, but the problem is who gets to decide which ontology to use. What if the ontology said that Jesus Christ is the same as Buddha or Allah?

As our jobs become more and more directly associated with computers, we socialize mainly with computers, and we get entertainment mainly with computers, the less culture we will have. Art created based on watching people type into computers is not a interesting subject for most artists. When I was a kid, if someone could use a computer on a TV show, they were a nerd and specialist and they were only used, as one of many skills. Now on TV shows, almost everyone uses a computer and the computer specialists know a tremendous level of background knowledge and skill, in almost every area of computers.

Human Relationships

Over the last 20 years, the family and other social interactions have changed rapidly and are quite different then they were even a few years ago.

When I was a kid, no one was talking about Gay rights or discrimination against homosexuals. I never thought of the idea of same-sex marriages. There were no actors playing gay main characters on any of the TV shows I watched. Now we have numerous shows where men even kiss on TV and everyone has an opinion on gay marriage.

International relations were different when I was younger. We didn’t worry much about terrorism in America and Russia was our main enemy. Russia was falling apart and so we were entering a time of peace without there being any conceivable future threats. When the first Gulf War happened it was fought in a few days.

When I went to school, my parents supported the teachers and we followed the principals rules. Today, parents can get the schools to do anything they want them to by threatening to sue. When I went to school, we didn’t know of anyone who was an illegal immigrant. I did not know of anyone on paid school staff who did translating. When we learned about history, it was just about American history and a little history of England. When I went to school, we didn’t have any after school programs. But we had numerous sports to choose from.

On sitcoms today, the relationships are totally different. We see the mothers as the leaders of the family, and the dads act like kids. The kids are seen as equal partners in decision making. The parents have the same amount of maturity as their kids. Sex is commonly talked about and the women don’t want to get married any more than the men. Women are as interested in the way the guy looks, as the kind of job he has.

4.3.3 The Public Mind and American Democracy

Many young people are critical of America and then my parent’s generation will say “it is the worst form of government, except for all others”. American democracy works, but not for the reasons people think. Sure we are free to vote, but there are only 2 parties that have a chance of winning and they are almost identical.

Many young people get upset because they want real change and they believe that our democracy should allow them to make radical changes. Then, when they realize it is not possible: they stop voting, they get involved in violent protests and sabotage, they take out their frustrations with their cars, drink heavily or take drugs, or try to do various lobbying efforts.

The reality is that we are not ruled by a democracy but by a dictatorship, but instead of using violence to control people, the dictatorship uses the media to control our world-view. People say that is not true because we can say almost anything we want about the government and there are no censors. As long as it is not communicated to enough people in a way that will convince them, then the government doesn’t care.

Controlling people’s minds is the best way to control the government. People will put up with almost anything, as long as they think they are well enough off financially. People like to talk about freedom, but really all most people want to do is just follow orders. Most people don’t care about doing what is right or wrong, as long as they are members of a large group that can tell them what to believe. It is not that the average person wants to cause problems for others, its just that they are unwilling to change anything about their lives to help.

They key for individuals, who want to do what is the right thing and not just what is comfortable, I would like to introduce: the concept of “no blood on my hands” where we work to limit the amount of destruction we cause to others and use creativity to go “under the radar” so that we are following all the laws, but we are at the same time freeing them from the media controlling our minds and we work to “free others” on a small scale.

“No blood on my hands” means limiting our impact on the environment and the poor. Many things fall under this, which is often called the voluntary simplicity movement. Some of the things I do are: use shampoo and detergent that are not tested on animals, I don’t eat beef, I don’t drink alcohol, I use open source software, and I give to help farm animals left to starve to death and to Christian ministries in prisons.

“Going under the radar” seems the easiest to do on the Internet. Be part of the long tail, where you appeal to a small segment of the market or a given specialty. You can effectively compete with the likes of Google, Yahoo, and Microsoft in concert with many other specialty sites, without any coordination necessary. You can subvert the media by licensing your work under a creative commons license.

“Freeing others” comes from sharing information that condemns consumerism and materialism. Instead of consuming the information that is produced for the masses, get your information from foreign books and international news from other countries. Another way to free others is to be positive and encourage others. Pray for them and find news of positive things going on in the world.

Most importantly, do not invent any technology that would upset the economy, even in a way that would help others. The government doesn’t look to kindly on people figuring out how to produce energy for free or anything that fundamentally advances Science.

4.3.4 The Protestant Ethic

Have you ever wondered why so many Republicans are Evangelicals and why so many Evangelicals are Republicans? Because many are both interested in making money. But many are moral because they never spend it - that would be pagan. You too can get rich if you join our church. Our theologians have found the secret to creating wealth - having lots of money to start with.

Hard Work

My neighbor says

He wants a website

You do websites?

What is it for?

To sell things

I am not your man

I know how to write

How to design

How to think

How to create

How the technology works

I  have 9 years of experience

And am hard working

I can do it for free

By I don’t know how

To convince people

To buy something

It is a common misconception

That people are poor

Because they are lazy

In America we equate

Hard work with money

But their are millions

Who would beg to differ

Proverbs says we should

Work hard

But God never promises

To make us rich

Even if we follow

All His commandments

If godliness equated money

Or money was to be valued

Then Jesus would have been rich

Paul was poor and in prison

And he was happier then

Than any time of his life

Solomon was rich but depressed

When he had the wealth

Of the entire world

He wrote the most

Nihilistic book of the Bible

American Philosophy

You thought philosophy

Was the love of knowledge

But why does it matter

If it can’t make you rich?

If working 40 hours a week

Gives you enough money

To live on

Then working 80 hours a week

Will give you money to invest

If you invest all that money

You will be rich

And then you can start

Your own business

So you can be a proprietor

Then you can sell

Your business

To make more money

Don’t worry about

Studying the classics

It only matters

If you have money

The more money you have

The more you can make

The more time you spend

The more money you make

This is all you need to know

The rest is luck and marketing

What else is there to life?

Faith and Work

You are a technical writer

Your job is to write

About new technology

Your audience is affluent

You publish for your advertisers

You publish facts

But they seem to always

Be in favor of whoever

Pays you the most money

When you are discovered

You lash out angrily

With weakly worded insults

You get angry comments

You lose more readers

Do you think

You did something wrong?

Was that you at church

On Sunday

In the front row?

Was it you who ranted on

About those liberal rascals

In the church parking lot?

Do you think you were

Acting Christian?

What has that

Got to do with it?

Bad Monk

He wears a coarse robe

Of brown burlap

His head is shaved

And he is silent

He works in the fields

In the heat of the day

He picks oranges

Atop high ladders

And makes marmalade

The following morning

To give to the

Orphans and widows

To bring a smile

To their little faces

He kneels down

For the midnight prayers

This is how he spends

Most of his days

What a waste

He could be pulling

A 6 figure salary

As a professional gambler

If he would just

Jump the border

And steal someone’s identity

No questions would be asked

He would only be taking

A job Americans

Are unwilling to do

Religion of Isolation

God loves me

And my family

He doesn’t like you

He chose to save me

No matter what I do

I am one of the few

Who get to go

To Heaven

God didn’t choose you

So you got to Hell

I cannot explain

Why God makes

Those decisions

But we have no right

To contest it

I don’t have to care

That all my friends

And coworkers

Are unbelievers

I believe they

Have been specifically

Chosen to suffer

For all eternity

It is all set in stone

And it doesn’t matter

How you or I act

You are one of those

Who haven’t been chosen

I will not associate with you

Because I am better

We have exclusive clubs

And we make more money

Our kids will be

Your kids bosses

God has blessed us

For His reasons

We have enough members

We are not interested

In your salvation

We will try to punish you

By creating laws

That are based on our

Odd view of life

We think everyone

Should follow our beliefs

No matter if they believe

Or not

Worldly

The whole world

Is Going to Hell

Except the members

Of my church

If you don’t believe

Just like us

In our warped

View of Scripture

There is no hope

For you

Those who are

Not among us

Die their hair

Bright colors

They paint their fingernails

All solid black

They have piercing

And they have tattoos

They read Harry Potter

And listen to

Liberal radio broadcasts

And non Christian music

They have parties

And watch movies

They watch TV

And use the Internet

They drink alcohol

Outside of communion

No on like that

Would dare come to

Our church

Who Can Help Themselves

God will only help you

If you can help yourself

You are only saved

If you are rich

God always blesses you

In a purely financial way

Christian charity

Means having a job

That pays lot of money

If you can do this

By your own skills

Then God will help you

God looks down on

Those who are lazy

Who we can determine

By those who make

Only a little money

Money follows grace

The point of following

All of God’s commands

Is to get rich

If you weren’t gaining anything

Then why would you

Go to all the effort

Of going to church

And raising money

To send your kids

To camp in the summer?

4.3.5 Capitalism and Atheism Un American

Conservatives say that

It is un American

To challenge the power

Of multinational corporations

But how American

Are these companies?

They don’t pay any taxes

To the American government

They don’t employ US workers

They are invested in by

Unstable dictatorships

Countries in the Middle East

Their bank accounts are in

Offshore islands

Or Swiss banks

Democracy vs. Capitalism

Our enemy during the cold war

Was communism

And millions died for this cause

But what were we fighting for?

Democracy isn’t the opposite of communism

Anymore than medicine

Is the opposite of sociology

How could people be against communism?

A more equitable distribution of wealth

Should fit in comfortably

In a country with a distribution of power

What we were really fighting was dictatorship

But we supported other dictators

The only thing that differentiated

Our “communist” enemies from

Our dictator friends

Was who would open their markets

Their raw materials and cheap labor

To multi-national corporations

To sap every drop of possible profit from

The reality is that no one has ever

Or would ever give up power willingly

The only reason why we can speak freely

In America is because our souls

Are bought and paid for in full

The only way the government would allow

Government that is voted in office

Is if they had absolute control over the media

We can say whatever we want in America

So long as no one hears it or doesn’t act on it

Freedom and Terror

We are afraid of being attacked without warning

We lost 3,000 of our people

Those in the Middle East are tired of being victims

Of American violence

We have killed off hundreds of thousands of them

And we are fighting the wrong nation

It is just like how the police in America

Don’t bother to solve crimes

But rather find the nearest person of color

To be a scapegoat to appease the grieving

Who is really a threat to who?

A few thousand poor people

With improvised weapons living in tents

Or the most wealthy nation in the world

Which has the capability to fight the entire

Rest of the world together and win

We spend more in a day on war

Than our entire annual budget for education

The president thinks it is a waste of money

To offer free medical care for the poor

But keeps on donating money to the rich

Who have drove their companies into the ground

We spend more on software

That we could get a better version for free

Than the annual salary of the person

Operating the computer

In a third world country

Our kids take drugs to escape from reality

And that finances the Middle Eastern terrorists

We invade their country but won’t

Destroy the crops that it comes from

For fear of alienating ourselves from the locals

There is an easy solution

It is against the religious beliefs of those

Who are growing the drugs to continue with it

So all we need to do is guarantee them the same money

From selling something that is not a drug

But our government is really afraid of

Alienating the multi-national corporations

That got the government elected

More than Bread

Man does not live on bread alone

What is best for man

Is not limited to what is best

For his taste-buds

And for his sensual enjoyment

A person has more needs

Than food clothing and shelter

Man needs a good relationship

With God with other people

And with the animals and plants

And his entire ecosystem

Which is primarily spiritual

What we see is not all there is

What we can sense is not eternal

Satisfying our feelings

And maintaining physical health

Is not the entire picture

People have hearts and souls

They need to help others

They need to give of themselves

This may not be a balanced accounting

In the realm of money

But the heart and the soul

Have needs as well

What the body craves can actually

Destroy the mind

What the mind craves can

Destroy the heart

We need to know there is more

To life than eating and sleeping

What we need to be satisfied

Is in the giving of ourselves

To our Heavenly Father first

In humility and reverence

And to those who are in need

Who are physically, emotionally, or spiritually

Hungry and malnourished

We need to sacrifice our own needs

So that we both may live better lives

It is bad to be a slave to work

But it is worse to be a slave to your belly

This is the problem

With solutions to problems

That are only economic

This is why communism and capitalism

Both fail at improving lives

Like treating medical problems

Without awareness of the patients minds

Does not guarantee good health

It does not matter how much money

You have or how protected you are

If you cannot make the lives

Of anyone else better

Than how can you call yourself human?

Even animals help other animals in need

Even plants provide for life

Giving of themselves

And returning the resources back

When they part with life

The point of a business is to make money

At least theoretically

And a corporation only has a responsibility

To its shareholders

There is nothing to be gained

By society as a whole

Even if the business advances technology

Or extends our lives

Because it is doing it at the cost

Of other people and animal’s welfare

To live happy and fulfilling lives

We do not need cell phones

Or computer games

Having a more powerful military

Does not guarantee we will win wars

Having the best education system

Does not mean there will be no crime

Immunizing people against diseases

Does not guarantee a long life

Man does not live on bread alone

Conscience

Some people say we need

Objective standards to live by

So that we can all agree

On what is right and wrong

We make all these turns of logic

And people are then

Afraid to make choices

Or more likely turned off by

Ethics in particular

Or philosophy in general

We do not need to understand

The phenomenology of Hegel

To know what is right

Is it surprising that basic laws

Are similar across belief systems

And that people still find

The Bible is relevant to them?

Is it a wonder that atheists

Are much more likely

To be afraid of death?

There are absolutes

And this does not mean

That we can be objective

But rather that the Creator

Of the multi-verses

Actually exists

That we are responsible

For our own actions

Whether or not we claim

We didn’t understand

Do businessman really

Believe if being honest

That killing off an entire species

Or leveling an entire forest

Or experimenting on animals

Or wiping out an entire civilization

Is not wrong?

People lie and rationalize

God doesn’t

Logic and Religion

Why do we need rules?

Why can we just live

By doing what helps ourselves?

How do we define

What helps ourselves?

Is there no such thing as generosity?

Do we think that all our desires

Could be satisfied on our own?

Could we have a society

Where everyone did whatever

Gained him the most

And ignored the spiritual dimension?

Spiritual forces are at play

And are involved in every thought

And action we make

Denying that there is a God

Does not make it so

And getting rid of religion

Because some people abused it</p>

Does not solve the real problem

The real problem is that

When we seek to satisfy

Our own desires

And do not keep our focus on God

And on those in need

Our desires escalate

First, we are fed with bread

Then, all we want is cake

Then all we want to have is a job

Then all we want is to be middle class

Then all we want is a car

Then all we want is a house

Then all we want is a wife

Then all we want is a family

But seeking all these

For the benefit of just yourself

Adds up to a very sad world

That no one would want to live in

Do you ever wonder what

Car companies would do

If wheel technology was patented?

How would we communicate

If the English language was copyrighted?

What if libraries were illegal?

How could people afford to do research?

What if we didn’t have free education?

What if there were no scholarships?

The point is that even the universe

Did not come out of a vacuum

We are all interrelated to each other

And we all have had help

No one is a self made man

Businesses get more government money

Than those on welfare

We need to see to our whole

Community and its welfare

If we are to live in peace with each other

On Marx and Engels

Communism has failed

And yet it has never actually been tried

We associate freedom

With domination by monopolies

And morality with corruption

The whole world is oriented

Around how to make a few people

Even richer than they are now

The only developments we see

Are first applied to warfare

Or they receive no funds

We want to minimize our losses

But if they are not Americans

We don’t care how many suffer

Even those who are our allies

Unless they are white

We are only limited in

The deployment of violence

By our fear of retaliation

But that is not great

In a world we dominate

In every sense of the word

We can afford to launch

Preventative wars against countries

Who are driven by morality

Just because we have no values

We think freedom is about money

And the only sin is enjoying sex

We think that people’s behavior

In their bedrooms

Is more important than what

Others do in boardrooms

We think we are so different

Than our greatest enemies

But we really see life the same way

They only hate us because we are rich

And we only persecute them

Because we use different vocabulary

Giving money to those in need

Is considered corruption

And our only values

Are about saving money

Because their may be inefficiency

In the government running welfare

We get rid of it entirely

There is less and less of a middle class

And people only think they are

Because they keep changing

The meaning of the word

We are continuing to get poorer

More in spirit than money

But we keep on voting

For those who created our problems

The word liberal is so vilified

That the average American

Thinks the poor should be punished

We keep on taxing alcohol and tobacco

With no restraint

And no one speaks out for the poor

But even our poor

Are rich by the world’s standards

But no one considers Africa

Or anywhere there isn’t oil

We only treat those in the

Middle East as people

To the extent that we

Are addicted to oil

We know we are running out

But it is considered un-American

To use alternatives or to conserve

American values consumerism

Most our economy is based on spending

The only thing our government

Asks of us is to get ourselves into debt

For things we don’t need

Or even care much about

The ideas of Marx and Engels

Are very much alive

Their solution would never work

But their statement of the problem

Is as relevant today as when

They first wrote it

The difference is that the proletariat

Is in the Third World

But anyone who isn’t white

We really have no time for

Marxism is Defeated

We have long since defeated

What we call communism

And yet we still think it alive

And fear it alone

Basically we equate any idea

Of justice or peace

As a ruse to a dictatorship

The only people we trust

Are the cowards that send

Our children to war

And spend their time in office

Finding ways to make themselves richer

With no thought as to the consequences

We think that war means peace

And that evil is good

We claim to be a Christian nation

And yet our values

Are whatever makes the most money

We don’t care if the corporations

Control the government

We call this democracy

And claim that is what we fight for

But the only people that win

Are those supplying the weapons

Our heads of state are capitalists

And the only thing that motivates them

Is the interests of those with

The most money

Because they never spend any of it

But on charities that get them more money

They are considered good and moral

We think that every rich man

Got his wealth by his work alone

And the only way God blesses us

Is by making us materially rich

Christ would be a liberal

And that makes Christians mad

Because that means they are in the wrong

They are too busy persecuting

Those who look Middle Eastern to them

Than to think about compassion or humility

They see Christ as a conqueror

Basically Rome is their God

They only pray to God

Because they think that will help them

Win more wars

Like a superstition they pick and choose

Obscure references and equate them

With invented meanings

They are right on every detail

Of every subtlety of cultural meaning

And yet miss the main ideas

4.3.6 What If?

What if the Chinese didn’t close down their fleet of ships after Zheng He’s expeditions in the Ming Dynasty (about 1433 AD) ?

The Chinese had the largest wooden ships ever built and and more than any European power at that time -  and may have sailed as far as the New World, but they could not afford to anymore with other projects and wars related to conflicts with Mongolia, as they didn’t sail in order to make money.

Buddhists Missionaries

Coming off ships

Brimming with canons

Loaded with gold

And human slaves

Along the Swahili coast

We have a new religion

Coming to Africa

From the Chinese

Buddhism is spreading

Westward into the jungles

Of central Africa

Buddhism wasn’t very popular

At first until we were

Allowed to keep

Our old religions

We said we were happy

With our own gods

And didn’t need theirs

But they told us

If we didn’t follow them

We would come back again

As a monkey

Or end up this life

In a crate headed for China

To work the rice fields

We were told how compassionate

This guy called Buddha was

We asked why they didn’t

Feed the hungry locals

They said we had to give up

Everything and be a monk

Most of us signed up

As we had nothing

Until we found out

We had to beg for food

Buddhism didn’t sound like

Much of an improvement

Buddhism sounded like

A religion for the wealthy

The Chinese government

Said they were just here

For trade and to make us

More civilized

We thought that meant

We would get rich

But it seemed the longer

The Chinese were here

The poorer we became

The continued to make

Improvements in infrastructure

So the Buddhists could

Spread their religion

We have trains all over Africa

They get our natural resources

On ships headed to China

Faster that way

We found out that most

Of the officials weren’t Buddhists

And that Buddhism wasn’t

Really Chinese anyway

We were told that Buddhists

Were pacifists

Although we saw many

Chinese soldiers who were Buddhist

European Backwaters

No one cares about Europe

Why would they?

They are few in number

And they don’t have any money

The Buddhists were active here

But the Christians outlawed them

As heretics and put them in prison

They were not a European religion

There are no empires in Europe

And the countries are all really small

The whole land mass

Is smaller than China

They don’t have anything of worth

To trade or to sell

They don’t make good slaves

They look like ghosts

They are the color of death

And they are dressed in rags

They don’t have any navies of any size

We could conquer them easily

But they have nothing worth taking

They believe in one God

And most can’t read

They have no common language

We still are not sure

Whether to classify them

As humans or not

They have no culture like ours

The few people who can read

Spend most of their days praying

They are obsessed with their classics

Some stuff written down

1, 000-2,000 years ago

By a small empire called Rome

And an even smaller one called Greece

What if we found another world that worshipped Jesus and was much more technologically advanced than us?

Christian World

People from another world

Who look a lot like us

And can speak our languages

Appear in a museum

Of ancient artifacts

They tell us about their God

And His name is Jesus Christ

And they came to our world

As missionaries because

Their world is all Christian

They have been traveling

From world to world

For hundreds of years

To spread the Gospel

Through inventions of

Their own designs

They live in a world

That is a thousand years

More advanced than ours

They can also travel

Through time and space

They have never seen

A world as corrupt

And as evil as ours

That hasn’t destroyed itself

They live communally

And they have no crime

Their society has lasted

For thousands of years

Without conflicts

They want to help us

But they say the problem

Is not that we haven’t

Advanced in technology enough

But that we need to

Improve ourselves morally

They have no environmental problems

And have never had any in their history

They treat animals as equals

And eat entirely vegetarian

They have hundreds of billions of people

On their world

And they are self-sufficient energy wise

Even though they their technology

Uses a lot of energy

Because they limit their use

What if Jesus came today?

Contemporary Jesus

If Jesus came today

He would be homeless

And hang out with

Strippers and escorts

He would be at the clubs

And at the political rallies

With anarchists and goths

He would be the son

Of a computer programmer

Who worked in a small business

Based on open source

His mother would be

An artist or designer

He would listen to reggae

And be vegetarian

He would live in a

Community house

With all possessions

Held in common

He would hand out flyers

For environmental causes

He would hang out

At poetry readings

And at Internet cafes

He would be a member

Of His local

Linux Users Group

And would use only

Open Source software

He would have served in Iraq

And in the Peace Corps

He would have

Started a new religion

And criticized the political elite

He would start a reform

Of the religious wrong

He would be a liberal

And speak out against

The conservative powers

People would follow Him

But not be able to explain why

The news would not film Him

And people would

Make fun of His followers

Pastors would say that

He was a heretic

They would ban Him

From church on Sunday

And the police would

Call Him an agitator

Bush would call Him

A terrorist leader

And He would be

Imprisoned without trial

He would be interrogated

And released to a mental hospital

He would form His own band

And He would have a blog

Where He would write poetry

With millions of monthly visitors

What if stuffed toys ran the world?

Toy Society

Children are prized above all

They are the friends

Of the powerful elite

The president’s dump truck

Is pushed by a toddler

And the famous actors

Sign the diapers of their fans

The toy entrepreneurs

Load up the toy boxes

In their factories

And the children

Drive around the boxes

In battery operated

And joystick controlled

All terrain vehicles

The children go to play

At the toy research centers

To see what toys

Are the most popular

And for quality control

They are played with

Under supervision

Of the toy managers

To make sure they

Are safe for play

Day care for the toys

Is provided by toddlers

And teams of seamstresses

Are trained to be

The top surgeons

Of the toy leaders

Each toy is treasured

For its entire life

The toy gets a new

Assigned kid to look after

When the previous kid

Begins to grow up

No toys are ever given

To animals to martyr

There is always

A loving home

For every toy

They will always be warm

And kept clean and dry

There are always activities

To keep the toys busy

They have a great Christmas party

Where they meet new kids

And a holiday parade

Where all the toy stars

Are dressed up and honored

There are award ceremonies

For the kid’s favorite

Toys of the year

When the kids grow up

They are used as heaters

What if farm animals ran the world?

Farm Society

The cows roam free

All over the midwest

Milk, cheese, and ice cream

Are free for every child

No animals are in prison

And they all have

Their own barns

With heated blankets

And human employees

To clean away the cow pies

Half the nation’s wealth

Is in grain, crackers, and alfalfa

The currency is sugar

And no one eats meat

The pigs are the police

And everyone caught

Eating an animal’s flesh

Is sent across the border

The sheep clear the

Wildflowers and weeds

So the human workers

Can plant the corn and wheat

For their cow leaders

All the extra paper

From all the books

Not recorded in farm animal

Languages are recycled

With the help of the goats

There is plenty of power

To run the mills

From all the cow pies

Cows are assigned

To each residential block

To keep the grass cut

There is no more

Need for cars

Nothing too small

To carry a cow

Is licensed to drive

There are new uses

For all the SUVs

They are all powered

By sugar cane

Left over from cow deserts

4.4 Emotional Breakthroughs 4.4.1 Son of Strength

I have developed the idea of raising the bar, once I reach the level that was once my goal, for a higher goal and then on and on until I die. I think I reached rock bottom recently. I have developed the ability to understand philosophy despite having Schizophrenia and with it the near impossibility of understanding abstract thought.

Based on this insight, I surmised that I could do the same thing with my physical body. I would strengthen my will to the point that I could force my body to do what it couldn’t physically much as Special Forces do. The problem is that in the Special Forces, when the training is done, that at some point the service member gets to rest. They don’t tire out the service members to the point that they have no energy, before they drop them onto classified missions.

So for me to assume that I could will myself into mastering my body is a flawed assertion at best. But that was very arrogant to assume that I could reach that level of intensity, without having even attempting that kind of training. Anyway, when I came back from my run, which I was able to push myself past more pain than I was able to do in any of my cross country running, I tasted blood in my lungs and at the point when I got back to my retirement center, one of the managers thought I was having a heart attack.

This showed me that I need to slow down and be aware that although I can dream of saving the world, I do not have the energy to.

In addition to never being able to feel fully rested no matter how much sleep I have had, I can’t push past it with greater mental strength, as I don’t even have the control over my mind as a normal person does.

What the Apostle Paul said in Romans is at the heart of (Christian) Existentialism. We cannot do what we want to. We are not strong enough mentally to reach our goals. We must leave saving the world to God and just help in small ways or else we will not survive long enough to see the fruits of our efforts.

I have finally realized that having Schizophrenia is not just a mental illness; it is a physical one as well. If your medicine is being effective on giving you some control of your thoughts, then you will have no energy to do anything.

For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.

I have recently arrived at the conclusion that the increased suffering of the world recently is the direct fault of Christians not following what God has called them to do, and in response to the fact and because I am in the wealthiest nation on the earth and because of my gifts of intelligence and creativity that I should be able to make a measurable dent in the amount of suffering that the sentient beings of the earth must feel. But the problem is I don’t have the strength to have the reach that I believe I should have.

Many of the problems of the world, if they are to be solved by people, need more resources than I have been given. I will just have to accept that there is some reason that God is allowing this to happen by conscious choice alone.

I have had to struggle with whether to say I believe that God raised Jesus from the dead and that he was both man and God or that that is a fact. I have recently come to understand that belief is stronger than facts. Similarly to how I said when we had to mark opinion as false and fact as true that opinions could be truths but facts are not consequential enough to be truths. So it shows more certainty to say that I believe in Heaven and Hell than to say flatly that there is a Heaven and Hell and that is the truth whether you agree with it or not you will go to one, because of course its true to the limits of my knowledge which is all I can guarantee by saying it is the truth, but to say I believe something to be true means that I haven’t just proved it intellectually, but it is so true that I risk eternity on it.

4.4.2 Heaven and Earth

There is a rhythm that exists

Deep inside your spirit

When all you hear is breathing

And your mind is all alone

Thoughts take flight

And you see nothing

Returning the power to Heaven

And the ten thousand things

Follow your mind

Liberation is a subtlety

And freedom comes from control

The hierarchy reflects nature

And the order is transparent

Within an instant

Everything fades away

The mind is ruler

And the body follows

When the mind is empty

The body is fully alert

With each breath

Heaven takes more territory

And the Earth longs

For heaven’s leadership

A unity exists

When Heaven is patriarch

And his rule is sage-like

And shows perspective

The Way leads to your heart

And is illuminated by your breath

Heaven leads the Way

And each member settles in

For a long peace

And a stable rule

The Way is narrow

When your mind is a casualty of war

It broadens

As Heaven is seated on your throne

4.4.3 The Breakthrough History

In Elementary School, I was so bored, as the classes were so stupefied and repetitious, that I daydreamed most of the time. Middle School was a dark time for me, as I had a very painful time getting rid of some huge warts. I also struggled with people kicking and hitting me, especially on the bus and in shop class.

High school was a renaissance for me, as I had always looked forward, to being in clubs. By my junior year, I was involved in Cheerleading, Boy Scouts, Summer Camp Counselor, Explorer Scouts, Catering, French Club, Model United Nations, Speech Team, a Political Club I started, a multimedia CD-ROM project with Sony, Future Business Leaders of America, a student journal, and a number of other ones I cannot remember. Other years I did Cross Country and Long Distance Track, instead of Cheerleading. I put as much work into each of these, as I was able to, with the most time spent on: the Political Club I started, Cheerleading, Speech Team, and Boy Scouts.

At the end of my junior year, I signed up for the military, under the delayed entry program, so that I shipped, off for Basic Training a month, after I graduated from High School. I spent the whole year getting into shape for the Army and reduced my load of activities down to the seven I enjoyed most. Some of the reasons for joining the military were: serving my country, money for college, getting a break from school, and getting experiences for my resume. The military was harder than anything I had done before and I proved that anyone could do it, if they put in as much effort, as I did.

When I left the military, due to mental illness, I went into school right away, but I began writing some poetry, about a year through, and was inspired by learning about Postmodernism in an English Writing class, Chinese philosophy ,in my year long Chinese literature course, and Existentialism and Ecofeminism in some summer courses. I started out with a Business major, but later switched to Journalism, as I hated business so much and was not very good at it. I was always good at writing and so Journalism was a much better match.

Then on December 11th 1999, I was voluntarily admitted to the psychiatric ward of the local private hospital. I did not write for several months afterwards because I couldn’t. I didn’t know if I could write or understand philosophy again, but I continued to pursue it for a number of months and when I switched to a newer medicine I began to be able to write well again and understand philosophy.

Background

I have studied philosophy, religion, and literature, both European and Asian for 9 years, to help give myself a multicultural understanding of the Bible. I believe that theological traditions, in American culture, have kept us, from understanding what the Bible is really about. What is really misunderstood is who the Holy Spirit is and how God’s Spirit works, in the world, and in our hearts.

The passages, that deal with the Holy Spirit, are some of the most cited and the most unread of the Bible. The Holy Spirit spoke through David, in the Psalms, and through God’s prophets, as well as in Paul’s letters. I have developed a philosophy that combines Philosophical Taoism and Christian Existentialism, to help people understand God in a new way that originally comes from Scripture itself. This philosophy is meant to help seekers understand biblically based Christianity better and this also serves as an inspiration for Christianity, starting several hundred years from now.

But, I have pursued this as much, as I have the ability to and I will need to rely on God, to keep this around as long as it is His will to do so. For most people, their problem is ignoring what God is telling them, but my problem is that I take too much of it on myself. I have to realize, that God can do any of the work, that needs to be done that I cannot complete. This is not an excuse, to neglect God’s voice, and fail to do the work He has prepared for us, but there is a balance in God’s expectations and I have fallen on the side, of being a workaholic.

And the search for rest and my struggle with doing too much is an important theme in the philosophy. My understanding of Chinese philosophy is based on my upbringing as a Confucian scholar, which in western terms would be considered a workaholic. Ironically, Existentialism and Taoism have a lot to do with rest and enjoyment of life, but the paradox is that the father of Existentialism, Kierkegaard, worked himself to death.

I have recently had the opportunity to see a number of contemporary Chinese philosophy influenced works of art, in a museum near where I live, and the common theme is the magnitude of work and the precision involved in creating it. When I compare European art, to Asian art, I laugh, because it is so simplistic. But I have also seen the freedom in western art especially the Impressionists and in the work of Picasso.

I have constantly been fighting, to save the world, since my departure from the military, but I have finally realized, that it is ok to rest and that my work is finished.

Questions

It is commonly thought, that if you believe in the Bible, it answers all your questions, so you don’t have to think. You often hear people, who call themselves Christians, say they believe in all these absolutes and that they have life all figured out. This is totally wrong. While the Bible does give assurance of salvation, provided you repent of your sins and believe in Jesus’ resurrection, there is not much else the Bible gives specific answers to.

Once you get past a couple of basic theological ideas about God, man, and their relationship, the more you look through the Bible, the more you will be surprised, at the implications of scripture. Did you know that Scripture never says, that we can’t travel through time or different dimensions? Did you know that the Scriptures describe something, that sounds a lot like a UFO? Did you know that the Bible doesn’t even refer to those, who can be saved, as human beings and that the Bible never says, that there aren’t aliens? In fact, the more bizarre Science gets, the more the Bible lines up, with these new theories.

It is commonly thought, that only atheists are skeptics and that uncertainty is not a Biblical theme. The truth is that there are very few absolutes, in the Bible. The Bible is also very Asian, in its content. Most of the Bible is poetry and one of the main unifying themes, of the Bible, is suffering. The Bible speaks against the occult and even Greek philosophy, but not Eastern Philosophy or Christian mysticism.

Christians, who are honest, have to admit, that they constantly struggle with sins, doubts about promises in the Bible and various psychological issues, like addictions and depression. The Bible doesn’t say, that all suffering comes from sin. In fact, King David suffered from depression and paranoia and he was filled with the Holy Spirit. Although the Bible helps us recognize, that there is a spiritual component to most issues, it leaves open the idea, that we can have psychological conditions, as well as physical ailments, that aren’t necessarily the result of sin.

The Letter

I had a great break through last night.

I realized that I constantly looked for ways to improve my philosophy and my website in my mind and I have come, to the conclusion, that there is nothing more I can do, with the philosophy. I have just started telling myself, that I do not need to solve all the world’s problems, by myself.

I have to wait on God, to solve the world’s problems, in His time. I have gone as far as I can, in this direction. I have realized, that God doesn’t require us to do some gigantic special project, and we are only responsible, for ourselves.

Just because other people have no vision and are not bright enough, to think of anything other than sports, does not mean what I have done is of no value. There is no reason why most people need to understand what I have done. I don’t need to constantly improve myself.

It is OK, to just enjoy life. If people don’t share my interests or values, maybe it is their problem and not mine. People being rude to me, or not liking me is not always my problem. I don’t always need to be the one to change.

I do not need to be able to answer everyone’s problems, that keep them from salvation. I am only responsible, for myself, and keeping the right attitude, before God.

More Thoughts

I don’t have to always be learning new things. I don’t always have to do everything, for a reason. I don’t always have to make ten backups, of everything I create. I don’t have to publish everything I do. I don’t have to worry about all the possible bad things people could use, what I have created, to do.

I don’t have to constantly get more talented, at everything. I don’t have to master every discipline. I don’t have to complete everything, as soon as I think of it. If something is that important, it will come back to me later.

In Verse

My mind runs endlessly

At the speed of thought

There are no breaks

To watch TV

There is no excuse

To stop working

When you believe

You can save the world

How can you end

Your essential project

When you believe

Everyday is your last

You push harder

And you never stop

When your expectations

Are endless

And always rising

You will never finish

You will never be satisfied

Until you are at the end

Of what you can handle

I stopped yesterday

I cannot continue

I need to wait

On God to save us

Continued improvement

Is not necessary

I am not always wrong

Its not always my fault

When someone doesn’t like me

When someone can’t relate

I am not responsible

For anyone but myself

4.5 Nature of God

Breakthroughs in my understanding of the nature of God.

4.5.1 Jesus Poetry The One

The words jump out at you

They dance on the page

A steady light to pierce through the mist and shadows

A light that gravity cannot bend

A power that surpasses that of the undead

Like a quark compared to a strand of DNA

A book of the highest magic

A chill like that of a winter storm

As soothing as a glass of tea for a sore throat

A written record that proves history as we know it is a lie

Balrogs and Orcs ambush us at every turn

The road goes ever on and on

He stands taller than an Elven King

With strength greater than that of a ring

The battle is fought even in the Shire

Little Hobbits pass by without notice

The evil within is greater than that of the Dark Lord

We must struggle each year with the pain of our youth

Stepping out on the first day of the Fellowship

Knowing terror lurks under every darkened forest

But that One older than the forest is singing merrily

And in the havens the Immortals sing songs higher than we can sing

We are inseparable with the One even when at the farthest reaches of the universe

Our brothers and sisters move in concert with our every twitch

The words spoken by the Hebrew prophets thousands of years ago

Are a postmodern deconstruction of our present situation

What broke the symmetry of the emptiness?

Is it the same force that has slowed down the explosion of new life forms?

That disharmony increases with every day

That we fly apart faster every second

The Majestic Down to Earth

A comet down to a meteor pebble

A red giant star to a black hole

The One now just a grain of sand in a mile long stretch of beach

The One now a snowflake in a winter snowstorm

How much greater was His descent to earth?

With the authority to bend the laws of physics and chemistry

With the ability to create life out of nothing

The eternal now confines Himself to a human life span

That which all creation cannot contain is born a helpless child

His head turned down in respect for others

His eyes wide so that He does not harm anything

His feet dirty because He does not think of himself

His hands calloused from His devotion to his family business in His youth

His understanding is brilliant as diamonds

His words are as clear as glass

His insight is like polished bronze

He delicacy in speech is like that of a potter

We are weighed down with worry about how those who hate us will retaliate

The government is turning on those who are trying to save us

Our time is spent working for multinational corporations dreams

Our investments are lost because they were based on deceitful schemes

His message is for our time

Humility and compassion are the keys to restoring our lives

Jesus

Is the universe in constant struggle

Between good and evil?

Does not nature possess more order?

Do we not have breaks between calamities?

Do basic structures break down

Most of the time or infrequently?

Both merciful and just

All-powerful and humble

All-wise yet foolish by our standards

A joke more serious than a tragedy

Is He both opposites at once

Or merely a mixture of equal parts

He is everything

He is my whole world

Yet He is not contained by His creation

Is He merely first order infinity?

Greater than someone could write down

Powers of infinity in an infinite time period

If He were just a Greek god

Or the heavenly ruler of China

He would not even bow Himself down

To visit earth

But He is infinitely greater than everything He could create in all of eternity

Stretching in an infinite number of dimensions if He never ceased

God does not struggle against evil

He beat all the powers of evil that ever will be or have been

With just a sentence

God is God enough to live as a man

Secure enough in His holiness to save all of mankind in a single night

Not afraid to descend into the pit of Hell

And powerful enough to rebuke the Devil himself, in His own name

When we look to God

To shuffle blame to Someone we don’t think will respond

We have to calm ourselves and be rational

God is not a man and does not make mistakes

Our problems are caused by our own bad choices

And the bad choices of others

But He already has answered our prayer

He has shortened the time of the tribulation

And as we pray more and more

It comes nearer and nearer

So we won’t have it hanging over our grand children’s heads

4.5.2 Self Poetry With one material, many souls

What is our true self?

What is our true identity?

Are we one with God

Is God in us or is He our true identity?

Is the individual soul an illusion?

Do we only exist as One?

Truly there is something

That unites the universe

Not only is there something

That unites body and mind

But also the same thing

Is the foundation of everything

And there is something else

The same moral purpose in everything

But we also have a soul that exists

And although it may be made of the same

As that of matter and energy and of other souls

The composition is unique

In each one of us

Just as each snowflake is made of the same molecule

There are ten thousand different kinds

Each one is an individual creation

With its own shape, size, and texture

So does our soul have a unique identity

And we have our own special characteristics

So we can share a common God

And we can empathize with each other

We can understand what it is to be human

And have the same desire to know our Creator

But we each have our own will

And we are directed by a different facet

Of the same moral purpose

To the extent that we have cultivated it

To the extent that we desire to know God

Directions

We are all moving in different directions

But our makeup is aligned at the same slope

We can move a mountain

If we have the faith of a mustard seed

If we seek God with all our heart

We can have eternal life

With even the effort of our own will

We can effect great change

As long as we are in sync

With the Greater Moral Purpose

As long as we act

In concert with God’s will

We share the same substance

But we each have a different mind

A different will and heart

We can share in general moral purpose

But each is going toward a different direction

It is where these lines of purpose intersect

That we are linked in a bigger task

Like each cell we live and die in our own timing

We have our own body and our own director

As an organ we are working towards a larger purpose

And in this way we can act as one

Many wills, with the same thing in their minds and on their hearts

With one Leader

We follow with a mind that thinks its own thoughts

Just because we are not the same spirit

Does not mean we cannot work as one in the Spirit of God

We do not need to be God

To know that we are interlinked in relationships

And connected in Greater Purpose

Holy Spirit

These contours upon which we travel

Are the straightest path to the nearest soul

We can know we are in agreement

And work as with one body

Because we understand

We are each separate members

That have wills working together

While we keep our hearts and minds focused

But what is this road upon

Which the mind is linked to its vessel

How does the distinct mind of one being

Understand what the mind of the other is doing

Without asking and without explanation

Without external signal of any kind?

It is like the cool current of wind

In the penetrating heat of our yellow sun

It is a subtlety that unites our thinking

And brings us together for greater purpose

Donning the protective mask

In one fluid motion

Or knowing what line of code is wrong

Just by seeing how the web page looks

There is another level

In which we understand

Another way in which things happen

Than the official regulations

It is how someone writes without an outline

And still puts together a coherent argument

It is in a way that cannot be pinned down

It has no universal name

In the Bible we know it

As the Holy Spirit

Or God in the world

Who brings together His flock

4.5.3 Heavenly Father Poetry The Perfect Programmer

God is the perfect programmer

We are all his programs

I am a flawed program

How can this be?

My source code was perfect

In every respect

But I let others add code

I started out stable and efficient

I was useful to my Creator

But the other code was sloppy

And my executable became corrupted

I kept on throwing up error messages

I blamed the kernel and other software

Everyone was wrong but me

My file formats were universally compatible

But I decided not to publish my new source code

Or even document my APIs

I would only release a software development kit

If people purchased a service plan

I used other peoples programs

I downloaded illegally off the Internet

I began to see nothing wrong

With being infested with viruses

I was getting more bloated by the day

And my features grew so great in number

That I became too complex to compile without errors

I began to seek other business models

I released some source code but not all

No one will develop me anymore

I rely on my my public relations staff

To buy my way into your computer

I claim no responsibility for damage

I would be recalled

But people don’t expect computers to work

Praise and Criticism

I have a memory problem

And a vision problem

My eyes are fine

And my mind works great

But I have huge blind spots

I constantly pray for protection

And I have a great memory

For how people have hurt me

But it is only when I stop and rest

That I remember to give thanks

For all God has protected me from

My greatest problem is fear

And I have struggled with chronic

Physical and mental suffering

And my life has not been easy

For a middle class American’s standard

But what I was saved from

Is greater than I could have imagined

I lost my mind due to my service in the Army

But I still have all my limbs and organs intact

I was able to get out of the military

When my mental illness interfered with my job

And my peace of mind

I had allergic pink eye for 3-1/2 years

But it ended with my first anti-psychotic medicine

When we watch the news

It is mostly negative

And people are quick to point out problems

But rarely offer solutions

It is easy to criticize others actions

When they do not act heroic

But how do we know what we will due

When we are in a crisis

Praise God for Everything

Praise God for everything good

We know of or have experienced

Praise God for everything good

We have yet to or may never discover

Praise God for everything good

We have labeled as a coincidence

Praise God for what we have learned

Jesus is the best teacher

Praise God for what we have learned

Sins to avoid and the way to salvation

Praise God for when we have peace

Spiritual as well as physical

Praise God for when we have plenty

God provides for His creation

Praise God for when we have stability

In our jobs and in the universe

Praise God for His forgiveness

For when we treat each other bad

Praise God for healing us

From bad decisions and from injuries

Praise God for everlasting life

If we only submit to God

Praise God for His suffering

For our bad choices

Praise God for our freedom

We can choose good or bad

Praise God for being who He is

Supreme in character, wisdom, and power

Praise God for loving us

Even when we don’t return His love

Awesome God

God is not your little sister

Who you need to protect

God is not in debt

You don’t need to finance Him

God does not need an advocate

He is God whether He is worshiped or not

God is not pressed for time

He has plenty of time for you

You do not need to argue God’s case

Creation speaks out His name

God doesn’t need you to fulfill his plans

God is in control of history

If you can travel back and forth in time

God is already there and everywhere else

If we travel to another planet

God is just as much in control

If we have a multi verse and parallel realities

It is there because God created it

God is not limited by having poor followers

God is all powerful in and of Himself

God doesn’t just watch you in church

God sees all

God doesn’t like Christians better than unbelievers

God loves us because He chooses to

God will not do evil

This does not mean His power is limited in any way

God does not play favorites

You don’t get points for good deeds

God will judge everyone

And none of us will pass without Christ

God does not struggle to defeat evil

He destroys it in His timing and with His methods

God doesn’t care what we think is immoral

He invented morality

God is not fooled like people are

God knows your heart

Family Appreciation

Thanks God for my family

Thank God for my mom

Whose encouragement uplifts

And who continually advocates for me

Thanks God for my dad

Whose advice has saved me from harm

His prayers give me hope

Thank God for my sister

Who listens carefully to what I say

Whose visits cheer me up

Thank God for my Uncle Clive

Who faithfully looks through my work

Whose careful words brighten my day

Thanks God for my stuffed cows

Who are always near by

Whose humor and thoughts keep my company

Thank God for giving my a family

That is always near in spirit

And who put my needs ahead of theirs

Who are anxious to hear what I have learned

And who consider what I say

With open minds and careful consideration

Who care enough to consider my feelings

And adjust their words and tone

Who I can consider colleagues

And who understand what I am doing

Better than anyone else

Thanks for your inspiration

And your love

Tolerance

Is is better that we not offend

The pride of those doomed to eternal death

Or better that more have eternal life?

Is the preservation of one more year of life

Of significance when we count in eternity?

Is it so important that we have personal transportation

That we sacrifice our young men’s lives?

Do we seek to be so tolerant of the wealthy

That we let the poor suffer violence?

Are we so addicted to popular culture

That we no longer care what is right and wrong?

Are we so far devolved morally

That we throw away our future?

Because some people used Christ’s named for evil

Does that mean that there is no truth in the Bible?

Why do we give to charity

When we vote against those in need?

Why speak out for what is wrong

When we don’t even try to live morally?

Do we need to rewrite history

To prove what we are doing is right?

Isn’t it a bad sign that we have no faith?

There is more to the world than white America

God values those in the Asia and Africa

Even if we won’t even help feed them

When the rest of the world hates you

You might think you did something wrong

When you read the Bible and get offended

Do you think you are you better than God?

Who are we to judge the world

From our Postmodern point of view?

Atheism is a blip in world history

And the future is more Christian than pagan

And there are more Muslims than atheists

Do we only tolerate those with big lobbies?

Do we only look after those who can speak for themselves?

When we choose to give some rights and not others

What is the basis for this decision?

Why do we put women and children

Above the lives of our soldiers?

Why do we disregard the lives of animals

When our society is built on their labor?

There is more to life than American football

And there is more going on in the world

Outside Hollywood and Wall Street

God, Help!

We look around us

And we hear rumors

All point to our destruction

Our imminent demise

Our fresh water is infected

Garbage drifts in the sea

Our forests are destroyed

Daily more are burned down

Our food make us sick

And we eat ourselves to death

We generate dangerous waste

For ten thousand years

Deadly incurable diseases

Spread like wildfire

Our rich steal from the poor

And conduct scams without penalty

Our president is a dictator

He starts wars out of revenge

Our politicians don’t care about us

They follow the largest sum of money

Our religious leaders

Preach hate and prejudice

The people don’t seem to care

As long as they can see the football game

And there is plenty of beer

They will sell their souls

To not have to get up off the couch

God, we repent of our sin

Please have mercy on us

We take full responsibility

And are willing to pay the penalties

Please forget our sin

And be our God

And we will be Your servants

We will put the poor and the rejected

Above our own desires

We will honor You

With our actions and not just our words

Walking Forward

With back straight

And eyes level

A relaxed walk

With long strides

Brilliant blue sky

And radiant sun

Long rows of books

Quick glances

And moving on

With each turn

And a rapid survey

Passing by numerous sections

Already absorbed

With each step

I pass walls of books

And with each shelf

Years of study

I am beginning to feel

More relaxed

And sure of my ideas

There is a subtlety

That exists in the mind

And a slight change in pace

That signals growth

And increasing certitude

The times of clarity

Multiply in number

I still don’t have plans

For tomorrow

But there is a stillness

And a gentle attitude

Overflowing from my heart

And my head is a little lighter

On my shoulders

The weight is slowly receding

And I get glimpses of peace

And times of conviction

That experience exponential growth

And continued enthusiasm

Morning Sunshine

In the cool of the day

Darkness fades gently

And the sun rises confidently

Over the distant horizon

At what point does it become day?

Where exactly is the horizon?

I learn sometimes in leaps

Sometimes at a slow walk

God continues to rise in my heart

I do not know when I will fade

But I know God will continue

To outshine the darkness of my soul

We bow to God’s brilliance

And are blinded by His Presence

We are dark and low

Not worthy to be the dirt

On which He treads

We live most our life in the shadows

It is hard to watch the sun

We hide from the intense light

But are afraid when it leaves

We scatter far and wide

To our own devices

When night falls

But we need to return

To the radiance of our Lord

Before we start our day

Under the direct light of the sun

4.5.4 Son of God Poetry The Missionaries

God does not love America

More than any other country

God does not condone wars

Over natural resources

God is not Republican

He does not support the Religious “Right”

Bush is not following the Bible

America was never a Christian nation

The Bible does not promote capitalism

Christians should speak out against corporations

TV evangelists are seldom

Preaching from the Bible correctly

The Bible is incompatible with Science

The way it is taught in schools

The Bible is more Scientifically sound

Than the theory of evolution

God is not in danger of being outdated

America is regressing

God is worshiped in the Third World

Only Europe has no faith

Religion is not a competition

The Bible has no equal

We don’t need to denigrate others

To support our beliefs

God is not White

God loves all races

God is not a God of hate

God loves all people

No matter what they have done

And no matter who they are

God Speaks

God speaks all languages

He speaks to us in our language

Arabic and Chinese

Spanish and Pali

Hebrew and Russian

Croatian and Pigeon

Farsi and French

There is a word for Christ

In every language

There is a word for suffering

There is a word for submission

There is a word for sacrifice

There is a word for humanity

There is a word for hope

There is a word for joy

There is a word for peace

There is a word for life

There is a word for eternal

There is a word for forgiven

There is a word for repentance

There is a word for belief

There is a word for sin

There is a word for good

There is a word for heaven

There is a word for love

There is a word for victory

There is a word for change

There is a word for compassion

There is a word for service

Religion Means Education

The Bible is not just words

For memorization and quotation

It is not a means to control

Or a way to win arguments

The Bible is not a set of rules

To conform to

The Bible is not a goal to achieve

Or a means to a higher consciousness

Christians do not ascend

And God is not trying

To advance us technologically

God does not make you rich

If you are devout

God is not a reason for bad behavior

Or an excuse to give up

God does not want us

To be workaholics

The Bible is a weapon

Against our own selfishness

And our pride and stubbornness

But we must plunge the sword

Into ourselves

God wants us to learn

He wants us to grow

Not to be wealthy or more advanced

But to be moral and healthy

We do not grow by secret knowledge

Or by special powers

We learn who God is

And learn how to submit to Him

We learn the source of our problems

Is our own poor choices

And we get deliverance from them

To the extent that we give God control

Of our minds, our hearts, and our souls

Campus Community

Under the cover

Of strong oak branches

And on the carpet of

Carefully manicured grass

The entire campus

Is overflowing with deep green

And on these memorial benches

Of weathered cedar and black iron

I watch with fading eyelids

As people pass the Frisbee by

Which dogs catch in mid air

And students cover the lawn

Leading up to the ornate marble library

Ivy is digesting the brick halls

And the sounds of construction

Permeates the adjacent buildings

All the vertical wood surfaces

Are covered in propaganda

A gray bearded man

Plays the guitar

And sings songs

Only fully understood by him

Softly a block away

What a community

What an idyllic atmosphere

I like to think that

Maybe some are believers

Open Market

You can smell the incense a mile away

And you can see everyone’s toes

It is Saturday again downtown

The booths are all assembled

And manned with merchants

There are pamphlets and stickers

Posters and pens

All carrying the logo

Of a charity or small business

This is how capitalism was envisioned

This is a diverse gathering

Fresh picked produce

And organic baked goods

Hemp clothing and more

Everything is produced locally

Or a product of fair trade

There is silver jewelry galore

And every kind of clothing tie dyed

The local charities are out in

Solid numbers and well stocked

With sign up sheets

And passionate volunteers

There are dozens of groups

Fighting to save the forests

And dozens of groups

For equality and justice

Globally and locally

There is continual music

And the aisles are crowded

The lines slowly shift forward

And the restrooms are portable

A Christian group lurks in the distance

If you squint real hard

Epic Hero

Christ is the greatest epic hero

The most powerful and the strongest

But His goal was not war

And He did not kill

His message was second

To His example

And greatest of all

Was His humility joined

With His divinity

Conquering the spirit world

Or starting an empire

Was not His way

He conquered the greatest enemy

The most entrenched traitor

Our heart and our minds

And our sins and bad attitudes

He healed and He prophesied

He was merciful and had authority

He was a descendant of the Jewish people

And He was the One who created all

Because of my Hero, Jesus

I have eternal life

He did the hardest thing anyone has done

To make it as easy as possible for me

I do not have the energy to do yoga

Or the leadership to start an ashram

I don’t have the discipline to pray 5 times a day

Or the money to journey to Mecca

Christ has provided the only way

For my salvation

And He has invited everyone to join

And the cost is free as in freedom

Ancestor

Born as a descendant

Of the Scottish monarchy

And with many castles to

Our family name

If we could prove it

Starting out to free Scotland

From the brutal English

I later gave up

The quest for nationalism

Not only did the Stewards

Inherit the throne of England

But I have a greater legacy

Which I have given up on

The previous ancestry for

I am born again

And grafted into

The lineage of Israel

And am part of the inheritance

Of the Son Of God

The second Adam

Christ, the Creator of All

Has chosen me

Before the beginning of time

To be one of His children

And any who will believe

Are all God’s chosen people

Whether Asian or European

African or North American

Latin American or Australian

Center of Gravity

Night has fallen on Europe

And it is late afternoon in America

But the sun is just rising in Africa

And it is still morning in Latin America

And it is a few hours before dawn in Asia

Christ is universally understood

And is available to all believers

In Europe and North America

The white man is diminishing in numbers

And his power does not extend

Beyond his own continent

Even at home, foreigners from the south

Are overwhelming the West

But Christ loves the South

Just as much as the North

But the white man has lost his religion

And those from Africa and Asia

Are embracing and comprehending God

In ways that the West never could

Christ is not just a moral teacher

He is a living God

Christ loves the poor

And identifies with the losers of war

The spiritual world is real

Even more than Science could theorize

Christ is not an abstract concept

But a real force in everyday life

God is not just our Creator

He is our Ancestor

He wants to adopt us

To be a part of His lineage

And to share His inheritance

God shapes history

In ways we could never imagine

And God has a special plan

For those in the Africa and Asia

For the persecuted and the fatherless

From those rich in Spirit

Crossroads

We are at a turning point

As believers worldwide

We have passed on the torch

To our friends in the South

What does God have planned

For those who understand Christ better?

What more will God reveal

In the 21st century?

There is no need

To spread the Gospel southward

We need missionaries in the North

There is nothing we can teach the South

Now we need to learn from them

Africa is becoming the leader

The younger child that God loves

And we have become wealthy

We have given up our inheritance

For things of this world

We can no longer see the truth

Of God’s divine intervention

And the miracles available

For those who truly believe

We look down on the humble

And reject those with problems

We blame the sick

The physically and mentally weak

For our declining power in the world

We don’t realize

Our lack of character

And are unable to comprehend

What sacrifice means

We are an empire on decline

Will those in the South pray for us?

Chapter 5

Red Leter Book

by Ben Huot

5.1 First Things 5.1.1 Logo

I should explain what the logo is meant to be representing. The guy is a pen, which is me, which comes from my first poem in Philosophy Core, called Creative Process, where I refer to myself as doing Tai Chi, with my pen being my body. The idea is based on “the pen is mightier than the sword” so I created “the Bible is mightier than the pen”.

The Bible is shooting out flames because in Ephesians it talks about spiritual warfare and the Bible is the only armament that is offensive. (It means offensive instead of defensive. These are common terms used in combat. The sword is the only spiritual weapon. All the other armaments expressed in Ephesians are protective and defensive in nature like a shield, a helmet, a breastplate, etc.) The flames are meant as in James when it talks about being purified by fire or struggles with temptation in our lives. Isaiah also was purified by a live coal to his lips by a Serpahim. So the usage of fire is not evil or anything violent. Think of it as purifying.

I would ideally like it to show the sword turned inward to his chest, symbolizing like in many fantasy books that when they defeat the great evil force in the world, they are left with the greatest task, which is to defeat the evil within. The Bible is said to be a 2 sided sword, with the ability to cut between bone and marrow, and show the truth. Christ’s tongue is said to be a 2 edged sword in Revelations, to defeat the Devil with. The reason I didn’t show this is it looks like he is committing suicide.

The spiritual warfare is not against people, ideas, or even spirits. It is about fighting for the purity of our own minds. It is an internal thing. Like the Native American proverb “my greatest enemy is myself.” This purity is in regard to our own sins and does not refer to purity in any other sense. But this is a process, not an outcome, as it is not possible for us to live without sin.

This warfare is only spiritual in the sense that it is not militant, social, economic, or political. This is for my own moral and ethical development and consists of practical qualities I try, with Christ’s help, to cultivate like humility, compassion, kindness, and seriousness and do not correspond to anything supernatural.

5.1.2 Other Books

My text books and picture books contain most of my work over the past 10 years. These include my reading of some 235 books containing the philosophical and religious thinking of the worldÕs cultures for several thousand years and the application of the main themes of some of the major Old Testament Prophets and major works of the New Testament.

The main point of this work is to get people to stopping living their lives with their minds, but instead follow their hearts. I bring a radically different combination of viewpoints that you have not heard of before. I am not asking people to follow what I have written, but rather let the words stir up some sort of emotional response in your heart.

I challenge my readers to come up with their own unique ideas and that can lead the world in a new direction. We need a much broader diversity of ideas in our culture to deal with the problems we are facing in America and throughout the rest of the world.

5.1.3 For More Information

For more books and information, visit me on the web at http://benjamin-newton.com/

Feel free to send me e-mail regarding the books and website at mailto:ben@benjamin-newton.com

I even enjoy constructive criticism

5.1.4 Cover Graphic

5.1.5 Credits

Scriptures marked NIV were taken from the HOLY BIBLE NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION. NIV Copyright 1973, 1987, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House All rights reserved.

5.1.6 License

This entire PDF is licensed together under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License as a whole, and nothing is to be separated, added on to, or modified in any manner.

Clarification on what no derivatives means:

No changes may be made in any way including but not limited to:

the material content and design must be copied as a whole (everything contained in this pdf file)

1. with nothing added

2. without anything taken away

must be kept in its original form with no additions or subtractions to

1. file formats

2. HTML and CSS code

3. PDF files

4. graphics and movies

5. sounds, music, and spoken word

6. interactivity and flash

7. file and directory structure

8. filenames and directory names

9. links

10. distribution method

5.2 Key Verses from The Free Thinking Christian Series 5.2.1 Who is God?

For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.

5

Isaiah 9:6

5.2.2 On Faith

For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.

6

1 Corinthians 13:9-12

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

7

Hebrews 11:1

As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all them that trust in him.

8

2 Samuel 22:31

Blessed are all they that put their trust in him.

9

Psalms 2:12

5.2.3 Sin

Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.

10

James 1:15

5.2.4 Salvation

If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

11

1 John 1:8-9

5.2.5 Heaven and Assurance of Salvation

Therefore we are always confident, knowing that, whilst we are at home in the body, we are absent from the Lord: (For we walk by faith, not by sight:) We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord.

12

2 Corinthians 5:6-8

5.2.6 Friendship

And the scripture was fulfilled which saith, Abraham believed God, and it was imputed unto him for righteousness: and he was called the Friend of God.

13

James 2:23

5.2.7 Faith is a choice a person makes.

I will be blessing the Lord at all times; his praise will be ever in my mouth. My soul will say great things of the Lord: the poor in spirit will have knowledge of it and be glad. O give praise to the Lord with me; let us be witnesses together of his great name. I was searching for the Lord, and he gave ear to my voice, and made me free from all my fears. Let your eyes be turned to him and you will have light, and your faces will not be shamed. This poor man’s cry came before the Lord, and he gave him salvation from all his troubles. The angel of the Lord is ever watching over those who have fear of him, to keep them safe. By experience you will see that the Lord is good; happy is the man who has faith in him.

14

Psalm 34:1-8

5.2.8 Faith in God is real because we can trust God’s word as He never lies.

As for God, his way is completely good; the word of the Lord is tested; he is a breastplate for all those who put their faith in him.

15

Psalm 18:30

5.2.9 Guiding Principle

The first of all the commandments is, Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord: And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.

16

Mark 12:29b-30

5.2.10 Striving to be both kind in my methods and serious in my beliefs at the same time.

And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient, In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth...

17

2 Timothy 2:24-25

Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom. But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.

18

James 3:13-18

5.2.11 My target audience

And it came to pass, that, as Jesus sat at meat in his house, many publicans and sinners sat also together with Jesus and his disciples: for there were many, and they followed him. And when the scribes and Pharisees saw him eat with publicans and sinners, they said unto his disciples, How is it that he eateth and drinketh with publicans and sinners? When Jesus heard it, he saith unto them, They that are whole have no need of the physician, but they that are sick: I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.

19

Mark 2:15-17

5.2.12 Faith and Fear

...’Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith? ’

20

Mark 4:40

5.2.13 Ministries Inspiration

And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.

21

Jeremiah 29:13

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

22

Matthew 7:7-8

Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.

23

Revelations 3:20

5.2.14 Anti-Western Philosophy

For the Jews require a sign, and the Greeks seek after wisdom: But we preach Christ crucified, unto the Jews a stumblingblock, and unto the Greeks foolishness; But unto them which are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God, and the wisdom of God.

24

1 Corinthians 1:22-24

5.2.15 Study Revealed Religions

Now while Paul waited for them at Athens, his spirit was stirred in him, when he saw the city wholly given to idolatry. Therefore disputed he in the synagogue with the Jews, and with the devout persons, and in the market daily with them that met with him. Then certain philosophers of the Epicureans, and of the Stoicks, encountered him. And some said, What will this babbler say? other some, He seemeth to be a setter forth of strange gods: because he preached unto them Jesus, and the resurrection. And they took him, and brought him unto Areopagus, saying, May we know what this new doctrine, whereof thou speakest, is? For thou bringest certain strange things to our ears: we would know therefore what these things mean. (For all the Athenians and strangers which were there spent their time in nothing else, but either to tell, or to hear some new thing.)

Then Paul stood in the midst of Mars’ hill, and said, Ye men of Athens, I perceive that in all things ye are too superstitious. For as I passed by, and beheld your devotions, I found an altar with this inscription, TO THE UNKNOWN GOD. Whom therefore ye ignorantly worship, him declare I unto you. God that made the world and all things therein, seeing that he is Lord of heaven and earth, dwelleth not in temples made with hands; Neither is worshipped with men’s hands, as though he needed any thing, seeing he giveth to all life, and breath, and all things; And hath made of one blood all nations of men for to dwell on all the face of the earth, and hath determined the times before appointed, and the bounds of their habitation; That they should seek the Lord, if haply they might feel after him, and find him, though he be not far from every one of us: For in him we live, and move, and have our being; as certain also of your own poets have said, For we are also his offspring. Forasmuch then as we are the offspring of God, we ought not to think that the Godhead is like unto gold, or silver, or stone, graven by art and man’s device. And the times of this ignorance God winked at; but now commandeth all men every where to repent: Because he hath appointed a day, in the which he will judge the world in righteousness by that man whom he hath ordained; whereof he hath given assurance unto all men, in that he hath raised him from the dead.

25

Acts 17:16-31

5.2.16 Don’t study Occult or Earth Religions

There shall not be found among you any one that maketh his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, or that useth divination, or an observer of times, or an enchanter, or a witch, Or a charmer, or a consulter with familiar spirits, or a wizard, or a necromancer. For all that do these things are an abomination unto the LORD: and because of these abominations the LORD thy God doth drive them out from before thee.

26

Deuteronomy 18:10-12

5.2.17 Why Paradox?

Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein.

27

Mark 10:15

5.2.18 On Limitations

To the weak became I as weak, that I might gain the weak: I am made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some.

28

1 Corinthians 9:22

But he himself went a day’ journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die; and said, It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life; for I am not better than my fathers.

29

1 Kings 19:4

5.2.19 On Strength

For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I.

30

Romans 7:15

5.2.20 The Path of Mary Magdalene

Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus’ feet, and heard his word. But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me. And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.

31

Luke 10:38-42

Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me. Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest. Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me. Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom. Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice. Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit. Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee. Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness. O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise. For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: thou delightest not in burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise. Do good in thy good pleasure unto Zion: build thou the walls of Jerusalem. Then shalt thou be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness, with burnt offering and whole burnt offering: then shall they offer bullocks upon thine altar.

32

Psalm 51

5.3 Mental Illness in Psalms from NIV 5.3.1 Asking God for Help

Do not be far from me, for trouble is near and there is no one to help.

33

22:11

To you I call, O Lord my Rock; do not turn a deaf ear to me. For if you remain silent, I will be like those who have gone down into the pit.

34

28:1

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him

35

37:7

The Sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

36

51:17

Listen to my prayer, O God, do not ignore my plea; hear me and answer me. My thoughts trouble me and I am distraught

37

55:1-2

My heart is in anguish within me; the terrors of death assail me. Fear and trembling have beset me; horror has overwhelmed me. I said, “Oh, that I had the wings of a dove! I would fly away and be at rest - I would flee far away and stay in the desert; I would hurry to my place of shelter, far from the tempest and the storm.”

38

55:4-8

Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart goes faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

39

61:1-2

Hear me O God as I voice my complaint; protect my life from the threat of the enemy. Hide me from the conspiracy of the wicked, from the noisy crowd of evildoers.

40

64:1-2

Save me, O God, for the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in the miry depths, where there is no foothold. I have come up into the deep waters; the floods engulf me. I am worn out calling for help; my throat is parched. My eyes fail, looking fro my God.

41

69:1-3

Do not let the floodwaters engulf me or the depths swallow me up or the pit close its mouth over me. Answer me, O Lord, out of the goodness of your love; in your great mercy turn to me. Do not hide your face from your servant; answer me quickly, for I am in trouble.

42

69:15-17

Yet I am poor and needy; come quickly to me, O God. You are my help and my deliverer; O Lord, do not delay.

43

70:5

Answer me quickly, O Lord; my spirit faints with longing. Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit. Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way should go, for to you I lift up my soul.

44

143:7-8

5.3.2 It’s all right to criticize God.

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?

45

13:1- 2a

My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me all day long “Where is your God? ”

46

42:3

You have rejected us, O God, and burst forth from us; you have been angry - now restore us

47

60:1

O Lord God Almighty, how long will your anger smolder against the prayers of your people? You have fed them with the bread of tears; you have made them drink tears by the bowlful. You have made us a source of contention to our neighbors, and our enemies mock us.

48

80:4-6

Relent, O Lord! How long will it be? Have compassion on your servants. Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, for as many years as we have seen trouble.

49

90:13-15

5.3.3 God will Answer You

For he has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help.

50

22:24

Praise be to the Lord, for he has heard my cry for mercy. The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.

51

28:6-7

I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.

52

34:4

I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.

53

40:1-3a

Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice

54

55:17

For he will deliver the needy who cry out, the afflicted who have no one to help

55

72:12

5.3.4 God will Counsel You

I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me.

56

16:7

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.

57

32:8

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

58

34:18

Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you

59

55:22a

Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me.

60

54:4

When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, In God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?

61

56:3-4

Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once again.

62

71:20-21

Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into your glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

63

73:23-26

When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.

64

94:19

5.3.5 There is Hope

But the needy will not always be forgotten, nor the hope of the afflicted ever perish.

65

9:18

Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.

66

30:5b

Why are you so downcast, O my soul? Why so perturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

67

42:5

But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love.

68

59:16

On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night. Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.

69

63:6-8

Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.

70

126:5

5.4 Money 5.4.1 Amos

Hear this, O ye that swallow up the needy, even to make the poor of the land to fail, Saying, When will the new moon be gone, that we may sell corn? and the sabbath, that we may set forth wheat, making the ephah small, and the shekel great, and falsifying the balances by deceit? That we may buy the poor for silver, and the needy for a pair of shoes; yea, and sell the refuse of the wheat? The Lord hath sworn by the excellency of Jacob, Surely I will never forget any of their works. Shall not the land tremble for this, and every one mourn that dwelleth therein? and it shall rise up wholly as a flood; and it shall be cast out and drowned, as by the flood of Egypt.

71

Amos 8:4-8

5.4.2 Matthew

Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me. But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful: for he had great possessions. Then said Jesus unto his disciples, Verily I say unto you, That a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven. And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God

72

Matthew 19:21-24

5.4.3 1 Corinthians

And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.

73

1 Corinthians 13:3

5.4.4 1 Timothy

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and raiment let us be therewith content. But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness.

74

1 Timothy 6:6-11

5.4.5 James

For if there come unto your assembly a man with a gold ring, in goodly apparel, and there come in also a poor man in vile raiment; And ye have respect to him that weareth the gay clothing, and say unto him, Sit thou here in a good place; and say to the poor, Stand thou there, or sit here under my footstool: Are ye not then partial in yourselves, and are become judges of evil thoughts? Hearken, my beloved brethren, Hath not God chosen the poor of this world rich in faith, and heirs of the kingdom which he hath promised to them that love him? But ye have despised the poor. Do not rich men oppress you, and draw you before the judgment seats?

75

James 2:2-6

Go to now, ye rich men, weep and howl for your miseries that shall come upon you. Your riches are corrupted, and your garments are motheaten. Your gold and silver is cankered; and the rust of them shall be a witness against you, and shall eat your flesh as it were fire

76

James 5:1-3

5.4.6 Revelations

Standing afar off for the fear of her torment, saying, Alas, alas, that great city Babylon, that mighty city! for in one hour is thy judgment come. And the merchants of the earth shall weep and mourn over her; for no man buyeth their merchandise any more: The merchandise of gold, and silver, and precious stones, and of pearls, and fine linen, and purple, and silk, and scarlet, and all thyine wood, and all manner vessels of ivory, and all manner vessels of most precious wood, and of brass, and iron, and marble, And cinnamon, and odours, and ointments, and frankincense, and wine, and oil, and fine flour, and wheat, and beasts, and sheep, and horses, and chariots, and slaves, and souls of men

77

Revelations 18:10-13

5.5 Providence 5.5.1 Genesis

And Joseph said unto them, Fear not: for am I in the place of God? But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive. Now therefore fear ye not: I will nourish you, and your little ones.

78

Genesis 50:19-21

5.5.2 Psalms

Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep

79

Psalm 127:1-2

5.5.3 Luke

Blessed be ye poor: for yours is the kingdom of God. Blessed are ye that hunger now: for ye shall be filled. Blessed are ye that weep now: for ye shall laugh. Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man’s sake. Rejoice ye in that day, and leap for joy: for, behold, your reward is great in heaven: for in the like manner did their fathers unto the prophets. But woe unto you that are rich! for ye have received your consolation. Woe unto you that are full! for ye shall hunger. Woe unto you that laugh now! for ye shall mourn and weep. Woe unto you, when all men shall speak well of you! for so did their fathers to the false prophets.

80

Luke 6:20-26

Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. If then God so clothe the grass, which is to day in the field, and to morrow is cast into the oven; how much more will he clothe you, O ye of little faith? And seek not ye what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind. For all these things do the nations of the world seek after: and your Father knoweth that ye have need of these things. But rather seek ye the kingdom of God; and all these things shall be added unto you. Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom. Sell that ye have, and give alms; provide yourselves bags which wax not old, a treasure in the heavens that faileth not, where no thief approacheth, neither moth corrupteth. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

81

Luke 12:27-34

5.5.4 2 Corinthians

As sorrowful, yet alway rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, and yet possessing all things.

82

2 Corinthians 6:10

5.5.5 Galatians

Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not

83

Galatians 6:7-9

5.6 Liberation from Sins 5.6.1 Psalms 1

The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul: the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple. The statutes of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart: the commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes. The fear of the Lord is clean, enduring for ever: the judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether. More to be desired are they than gold, yea, than much fine gold: sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb. Moreover by them is thy servant warned: and in keeping of them there is great reward. Who can understand his errors? cleanse thou me from secret faults. Keep back thy servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me: then shall I be upright, and I shall be innocent from the great transgression. Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.

84

Psalm 19:7-14

2

Unto thee, O Lord, do I lift up my soul. O my God, I trust in thee: let me not be ashamed, let not mine enemies triumph over me. Yea, let none that wait on thee be ashamed: let them be ashamed which transgress without cause. Shew me thy ways, O Lord; teach me thy paths. Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day. Remember, O Lord, thy tender mercies and thy lovingkindnesses; for they have been ever of old. Remember not the sins of my youth, nor my transgressions: according to thy mercy remember thou me for thy goodness’ sake, O Lord. Good and upright is the Lord: therefore will he teach sinners in the way. The meek will he guide in judgment: and the meek will he teach his way. All the paths of the Lord are mercy and truth unto such as keep his covenant and his testimonies. For thy name’s sake, O Lord, pardon mine iniquity; for it is great. What man is he that feareth the Lord? him shall he teach in the way that he shall choose. His soul shall dwell at ease; and his seed shall inherit the earth. The secret of the Lord is with them that fear him; and he will shew them his covenant. Mine eyes are ever toward the Lord; for he shall pluck my feet out of the net. Turn thee unto me, and have mercy upon me; for I am desolate and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged: O bring thou me out of my distresses. Look upon mine affliction and my pain; and forgive all my sins. Consider mine enemies; for they are many; and they hate me with cruel hatred. O keep my soul, and deliver me: let me not be ashamed; for I put my trust in thee. Let integrity and uprightness preserve me; for I wait on thee. Redeem Israel, O God, out of all his troubles.

85

Psalm 25

3

Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man unto whom the Lord imputeth not iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no guile. When I kept silence, my bones waxed old through my roaring all the day long. For day and night thy hand was heavy upon me: my moisture is turned into the drought of summer. Selah. I acknowledged my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the Lord; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin. Selah

86

Psalm 32:1-5

4

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits: Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies; Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle’s. The Lord executeth righteousness and judgment for all that are oppressed. He made known his ways unto Moses, his acts unto the children of Israel. The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy. He will not always chide: neither will he keep his anger for ever. He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him. As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us. Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear him. For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust. As for man, his days are as grass: as a flower of the field, so he flourisheth. For the wind passeth over it, and it is gone; and the place thereof shall know it no more. But the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear him, and his righteousness unto children’s children; To such as keep his covenant, and to those that remember his commandments to do them.

87

Psalm 103:2-18

5.6.2 Isaiah 1

Wash you, make you clean; put away the evil of your doings from before mine eyes; cease to do evil; Learn to do well; seek judgment, relieve the oppressed, judge the fatherless, plead for the widow. Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.

88

Isaiah 1:16-18

2

I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins. Put me in remembrance: let us plead together: declare thou, that thou mayest be justified.

89

Isaiah 43:25-26

3

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater: So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it. For ye shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace: the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. Instead of the thorn shall come up the fir tree, and instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree: and it shall be to the Lord for a name, for an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.

90

Isaiah 55:8-13

5.6.3 Jeremiah

Run ye to and fro through the streets of Jerusalem, and see now, and know, and seek in the broad places thereof, if ye can find a man, if there be any that executeth judgment, that seeketh the truth; and I will pardon it.

91

Jeremiah 5:1

5.6.4 Matthew

And, behold, they brought to him a man sick of the palsy, lying on a bed: and Jesus seeing their faith said unto the sick of the palsy; Son, be of good cheer; thy sins be forgiven thee. And, behold, certain of the scribes said within themselves, This man blasphemeth. And Jesus knowing their thoughts said, Wherefore think ye evil in your hearts? For whether is easier, to say, Thy sins be forgiven thee; or to say, Arise, and walk? But that ye may know that the Son of man hath power on earth to forgive sins, (then saith he to the sick of the palsy,) Arise, take up thy bed, and go unto thine house.

92

Matthew 9:2-6

5.6.5 Ephesians

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

93

Ephesians 4:32

5.6.6 Hebrews

I will put my laws into their mind, and write them in their hearts: and I will be to them a God, and they shall be to me a people: And they shall not teach every man his neighbour, and every man his brother, saying, Know the Lord: for all shall know me, from the least to the greatest. For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more.

94

Hebrews 8:10-12

5.6.7 James

Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him. Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may b