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The most important thing spiritually is to spend time with God. Spending time with God is spiritual warfare.

Stepping Forward

Chained to myself
One hand tied to another
My left against my right
My enemy is my conjoined twin
How can I wrestle out?
What is within me?
I can feel the subtle compromises
I cannot run away fast enough
I fight even in my sleep
Who can help me from myself?
Calling out to God in the middle of the night
I can barely stay above the dark waters
It is so cold that all I can feel is my heart
What do I do after I emerge?
Like taking off a suit of armor
That has transformed from protective gear
To a hazard and a danger
Each step is still painful
I can still feel the weight of the cold steel
But the weight lessons as I walk away
What counts as a useful life?
How do we find purpose
When there is no freedom in our hearts?
Like swatting at a mosquito
While we die of food poisoning
We cannot see 2 feet directly in front of us
Maybe it is time to bring God back
How can we do the right thing
When none of us is good?
If we cannot agree on the existence of God
And accept responsibility for our choices
Who do we think we are
Preaching to the older citizens of this world?
When we can barely survive
Having too much to eat
And our only thought is how do I make my life easier
Maybe we are on the internet too much

The Road Untravelled

Less knowledge is a blessing
Conflict is a great sign
We think too much
And act too little
The things that seem little
Are often the most significant
Sometimes it is not the outcome
But the process that brings significance
Unresolved conflict is not just a lesson
It is a purpose in itself
Knowing which direction to go
Does not always provide meaning
You have to step forward in your mind
Before your body will follow
Changing your own mind
Has greater significance
Than bringing new people to Christ
It is within our own church
That we face the greatest threats
Faith is acting without full knowledge
Wisdom sometimes gives more questions
When we often prefer definite answers
There is freedom in Christ to make different choices
What is most important is The Who
What we need to know is obvious to us
The rest we will understand at the right time
You cannot travel back or forward in time
You have to live your life chronologically
But your mind and spirit are more free
What if you could return your mind
To an earlier state
So many things we battle are mostly mental
The actual events are less important
Your decisions are often spiritually significant
Everything you need to know you will know
Your mind may be weak
But your spirit is still strong
Sometimes we face uncertainty
The choice is ours
Sometimes going in any direction
Is the truly important decision
We need not remember the commandments or verses
We have the law written in our hearts
People were making spiritual decisions long before
Anything was written down
Only the simplest questions have step by step directions
When it is not clear what to do
It is your choice
God is very clear when it is important
Gods voice grows louder when it is more important
When you are making bad decisions it is obvious
Unbelievers are often very confident without faith
We can be confident too if we want to

God and Spiritual Warfare

The critical difference between Christianity and all other religions is that the Christian God is the one, true, all-powerful God. He has the power which He will give you freely that will permanently kill all your demons for you. It is not a matter of trying harder. It is about surrendering your entire life and choices to Christ.

You are the only thing blocking your recovery and your victory over death. Christ has already won the entire war against death and immorality (sin). You need not fight your battles alone. You need to not engage evil at battle at all.

Flee from evil (bad situations) and use the Bible as your only weapon. No one can force you to do evil. You have to believe that you are fully responsible for the bad choices in your life. If you didn't have the strength to make those choices, how are you going to have the strength to choose not to do those bad things (when you are tempted again)?

Do not fight evil! Surrender to God, flee from evil, and let God change your mind, so that you can make better choices. Then make better choices. The devil is not your enemy: you are your own greatest enemy.

How do you get stronger and let God change your mind? Accept Christ as your God and Savior, read the Bible, go to church, and pray. The answers are not difficult to understand. Spiritual things just work according to different laws than those in the physical, legal, and economic worlds.

Faith is the key to understanding God. Choose to believe that you will overcome, thank Him for the good things in your life, and pray for spiritual things that are consistent with the Bible. Then keep praying, listening, and waiting. God will do things in His own timing and way. Be careful what you pray for, because it is likely God will make it so, if you ask for the right things.

Prayer is simply talking to God. You need to listen and thank as well as ask. God wants more for you then just experiencing His intervention when you are in an emergency. Prayer is not a punishment. It is a great honor that He who created the universe chooses to talk to us, who we can all agree screwed up a literal paradise God carefully and generously set up for us into a world full of suffering.

Paradox of Fighting without an Enemy

Many people ask how can I fight evil by just allowing God to do all the fighting for me? It is a struggle, just not an outward one and not one we should fight via psychological or physical means. We all depend on God whether we acknowledge it or not. This does mean we should give up. We are always responsible for our own actions and our relationship with God.

Most of the spiritual battle takes place in the mind, so accept Christ as your God and Savior, read the Bible, go to church, and pray. You will learn in church to pray and read the Bible, learn to pray and go to church in the Bible, and learn in prayer to read the Bible and go to church. This is a kind of Zen concept where you are in a continual repeating cycle and the process being the result.

Christianity is about getting close to God and that happens by making Christ your habit or anti-addiction. This process is not for you to comprehend concepts you never heard of. These tools are there for you to transform your mind and strengthen you spiritually. People do not change their minds based on argument, but rather on repetition and major life experiences.

That is why we practice Christianity the way we do. It is like the ads we see on TV or the logos we see on everything we buy. The fight for peace is less about fighting the devil and more like surrendering to Christ. Any fighting against external spiritual evil should only be done with the Bible as a weapon.

The "battle" is the combination of your surrendering your will to God while accepting complete responsibility for your immoral decisions, and then resisting temptation. God is always beside us and will provide the necessary difference in strength necessary to overcome our spiritual problems, once we choose to work with Him and on His side. God is always helping us - it is only that we either resist God or do not cooperate that causes us to get over our heads in immorality.

If you are at a boring time in your life in general or specifically spiritual one, this is probably because you need the rest and/or you are already on the right path. I have generally felt closest to God during crisis in my life. I actually hope for a boring life for the rest of my natural life on earth as exciting is generally painful.


I have had a roadblock in my faith in Christ, because I was afraid God would have me do something very painful, but recently it has become apparent (I have been convinced) that I need God in all aspects of my life, being, decisions, and actions without caveat (without conditions). I have been aware for a long time that repetition of anything is one of the most effective way to change someone's mind, but only recently realized how effective and quickly that can work (both good and bad). When I was taking classes in college (I never graduated) in graphic design for journalists, I learned that it is very important what things you put into your head. Be very careful what you read or watch online.

When I was first writing my books, I used to try to find others with similar views as I online, but ended up finding some really creative but very dark theological ideas. The Internet and our world culture in general is a place where you cannot believe what you see or depend on something being what it claims to be. There is no more (if there ever was) integrity of data (there is no way to verify if something is true or if someone changed something in any publication or bit of information). We really need to default to not trusting anyone and need to put our own salvation above that of others, at any cost.

At this point, my number one interest in bringing people to God is keeping myself near God as I think it is enough of a challenge to save myself. And the only one who I can really control and make decisions for is myself. There will likely be more Bible verses on my site in the future and for those who that bothers, my website is only one among billions of others, so exercise your free choice by finding something else to read.

The Key to Living Christianity

Christianity is like a reverse or counter addiction. That is why many recovering addicts have turned to Christ and Christianity for help. The point of Christianity is not just to avoid Hell, but to avoid it on earth as well. Do you really want to be counter culture and resist the mainstream world? This is why living Christianity involves submitting your will to God, reading the Bible, praying, going to Church, and giving to the needy. This is similar to the five pillars (basic commands) of Islam (although totally different in theology).

You need to spend a lot of time and effort, to avoid being truly a passive consumer/follower, as your primary role in life. But this is not a chore, like going to the bathroom. It is to be a joy, like eating. The way bad Christians act, that turns people off to Christianity, is not part of any denomination of Christianity's doctrine and is directly and specifically forbidden in the Bible. You will find that in being a Christian, you will have aspects of your life and attitude that turns others off to Christ.

The frustrating part is that the people who create the most problems in the Church tend to be the least critical of themselves, and you have the nicest people constantly beating themselves up and getting discouraged over minor mistakes. Remember, Church is not a building, organization, or network. The Church is the spiritual entity that is the female counterpart to Jesus Christ. We serve Jesus Christ, and should be loyal to Him (personally), Who is there to help return us to think like we did as children and undo what the mainstream culture has taken away.

No matter how many books you read, you will never find wisdom or joy, until you find the Christian God and make Him the first part of your daily routine. It is ok to question God and still believe in Him. One of the things that bothers me about Christianity is suffering. It makes it hard to fully trust God. But God did not create suffering, did not promise to rid us of it, and very often intervenes to stop it. So it is unfair to hold it against Him, but the emotions are not very rational.

The answer is just like the most common answers to teachers questions in sunday school: Jesus, go to Church, read the Bible, and pray. None of these is essential to being Christian, but going to Heaven and being happy in life are not essential either. Do you want to be judged by what you have done or by God's free and unconditional gift of forgiveness (always available to all)? Living your life for God and spending time with Him is a privilege, not a duty and is for us, not God. Remember, He made us to be in constant connection with Him and without this connection, we suffer.

The Key to Being Spiritually Healthy

In addition to being physical and emotional life forms, people are also spiritual and just like your mind and body must be taken care of to live a happy life, so your soul needs care as well. Not staying close to God and hearing His message continually can make you weak spiritually. The world is getting darker and darker, so we as Christians should stand out more and more from the general population.

One of the things you need to keep your spirit healthy is to continue to follow your conscience and not dismiss it or ignore it. Feeling fear or repulsion to things that appear good is a sign that they are not. One of the biggest signs something is bad for you is that someone offers you an easy shortcut to solving a difficult problem. Another sign is when you find a loophole or parallel way to ignore your inner voice instead of really avoiding the entire category of the problem.

An example of this situation is studying in school. It is hard to discipline yourself to study and so many people have resorted to taking a pill, to help them focus. It can still be legal and not show any bad side effects, but later you realize that it has prematurely aged your brain (you have increased your chance of dementia, as you age).

Another example is that people take a medicine for pain relief from their doctor but later on they realize they are now addicted to it. Then, when they need the pain medicine for something temporary like a surgery, it may not work as well and they have to choose between being in a huge amount of pain or in having to re fight their addiction.

Some medicines must be taken and if they are not, then that is the reason for a greatly worsened condition. If you don't take your heart, cholesterol, or high blood pressure medicine, you can die without warning. Many mentally ill people feel so much better after taking their medicine for a long time that they then decide they don't need it anymore. Then they end up back in the hospital.

No matter who you are or how strong your faith is or how well you know scripture, you need support that you can only get through hearing scripture. There is no substitute or good enough reason to not take the time and effort to keep close to God by hearing His Word daily. There are also many ways to do this with modern technology, so not being able to go to church is not a good enough reason.

On Problems in the Church

I think the Church is like the Army or any large group of people is that it is a reflection of the greater society it is in. I think most Bible believing Christian organizations as a whole have and continue to do as much as they can think of to appeal to every demographic. We have to at some point accept that the Church will never be perfect and one organization cannot alone be all things to all people (only Christ and Scripture can).

We are spoiled in America so much that many people are more worried about their future after death than dealing with problems in life. We don't need Christian versions of everything and to keep pursuing a perfect Church community and perfect theology. We continue to try to change our world socially, but what goes on in the Church is much more important prophetically, as it is one of the biggest targets spiritually.

But there is always more we can do and we should not get discouraged to the point of giving up, because society as a whole has rejected Christianity. Every person (and animal) is worth fighting for. The good part is the war on doctrine has been won conclusively as most young people in America know little about the Bible at all.

God will never give up on us and so we should never give up on others. We need to just keep following the voice of God and our conscience. The rest God will work out. Keeping to the faith, while patiently waiting for deliverance is what faith is about. Faith in Christ does not often provide very visual or immediate feedback.

Glamorizing Dangerous Behavior

Hollywood is well known for glamorizing sex and violence. This means that they minimize the negative consequences and portray this behavior as having good outcomes. Why does the church constantly talk about money and sex almost exclusively? These are the two biggest things that cause life changing problems in most people’s lives.

Although I would argue that Hollywood is conservative not liberal because it is a giant business motivated by money, it is definitely corrupt. Are violence and sexual immorality made worse by Hollywood or are they merely a reflection of society? Both are probably true. It goes in a unvirtuous cycle.

I think many people believe that the way we think does not affect the way we act and what other people do in their private lives is not our business. We make this huge distinction between action and thought although the one directly affects the other. This brings us to what have historically been called deviant behavior and vice.

Gambling, sex outside marriage, drug use, aggressive pan handeling, traffic violations, bullying, gossip, dirty words and jokes, and the like are slowly being legalized and this can and does affect others. I think it is great that we do not discriminate or bully people who have made different life choices like different choice of religion, political views, spoken or written language, subculture or ways people are born. The thing is though that we have to agree on some basic moral standards or society will slowly get worse and worse by all measures.

I see how the media and military recruiters glamorize the military. They only show the exciting parts and not the terrifying, painful, risky, stressful, difficult and monotonous parts. The military basically has a price on your head and you are not worth a cent more to them. From a Marine’s perspective, combat is 80% boredom and 20% terror.

You are exposed to toxic chemicals in one way or another in almost any job in the military. You also do not get most of the education, financial, and vacation benefits they claim you get. If you leave early which usually takes the intervention of a US senator, you are almost guaranteed a discharge that although not dishonorable will not qualify you for any VA benefits when you get out.

You are paid so little that as most soldiers now have families, it is common to be on food stamps in the military. The military justice system is truly brutal as you always get a civilian penalty in addition to a military penalty. You can get fined 1/3 your monthly salary and get 2-4 hours extra duty a night for 2 weeks for very minor infractions that wouldn’t be a crime in any other jurisdiction.

If you fail out of your chosen career in the military, they reassign you in the Army to another career that is the job that is hardest to fill, and in the Navy you lose your rate so you have n guarantee of what you will be doing. If your kids ever do anything bad or you miss a payment on your car, God help you. Most people do not stay in for another enlistment because they try to get out as soon as possible as few people in the military would stay in if they could leave.

This is why I think bible believing Christians tend to be conservative socially.

Makes Me Weaker

Whatever doesn’t kill me, makes me stronger — Russian proverb famously attributed to Nietzsche.

Many people go through life learning and growing and getting stronger through wisdom as their body often becomes worn down. I am experiencing the opposite. I seem to be in good health but sometimes I think my mind is getting worse. I see more and more weak I am over time.

I doubt more and more things I was so sure of in the past. One of the things that keeps surprising me is how people feel intimidated by me. I just can’t comprehend is how they see me as so strong.

I am having more trouble with my paranoia and voices. It feels like there will be big changes in the world and my life this year. I am finishing up on a 20 year project and can think of many things to do, but I am still way more ambitious than I have the energy to do.

I feel I need God even more than ever before. I have put so much in my 20 year long project that I am now doubting much about it. Who am I to give advice on anything?

I have tried to stay away from things I know nothing about like relationships. Unless you include my stuffed toys and the voices in my head. I am realizing more and more now about God. Did you know that “merely” spending time with God is the secret to spiritual warfare?

I always thought that going to church was about strengthening your faith and I was stubborn enough that I knew I would never change that about myself. I guess I thought low enough of myself that I would never even be tempted to be arrogant in any way.

I have realized now that why I like to talk about world problems is not because I have a unique perspective or that I have studied a different part of history or that I am good at teaching but because it is easier than dealing with my own problems.

I have so much on my plate now dealing just with my symptoms but one of the best ways I know how to cope with them is to keep busy. Maybe I am still too ambitious.

I just look at all the volunteer jobs and am not qualified for most of them or I don’t think I have the energy to go through all the steps to be considered. I find writing very fulfilling but only do that well when inspired.

I am so burned out with my website after 20 years. I seem to spend half the time backing things up and the other half fixing simple errors and trying to get thing to work. And most people want to make everything even more complicated.

All I can say for it is the tools and support have improved a lot over the years and I have learned how to avoid a lot of the complexity. I know the history of web design and so can appreciate that it is actually better than before. I can spot things that are unlikely to be supported a few years from now.

In tech you have to time things right. If the infrastructure in our country is ever updated, it will be literally 1,000 or more simple to do later updates. It comes from how stupid and literal computers are and that things that make computers easier for us to use tend to be much more complicated and error prone for the computer to do.

A computer is very fast but does not know the difference between photos and drawings or spoken audio and music. On a certain level all it does is turn off and on different parts like Morse code or putting down a zero or a one.

Since computer security also known as malicious creativity plus too much time has gotten so bad, I do not trust the integrity of any data. Even the most responsible group usually has at least one irresponsible, cheap, or clueless person who making a seemingly simple and obvious decision opens everyone else’s stuff to hackers. Even the best software has enough holes in it to make it easy for someone to break in with enough time and motivation.

We are so afraid of China sending a fleet over to attack us or get shot by a shooter at a school, which are both very unlikely but are not afraid of losing our savings or be sent to prison for someone else’s crime. Just like the Church or an individual, the greatest enemy is your neighbor and yourself.

So how does one create now and share it with others without the risk? I guess one has to choose. Most people don’t even think about this but most people haven’t created anything they value on computers. Or at least I hope they don’t.

At least we can still buy ink and printers. Imagine going online to buy a pen and paying extra to get it without advertisements and tracking.

And I remember watching a film the other day about Winston Churchill. Churchill reminded me of Trump and he took huge risks that lost the British their empire. How would he respond to his own countries recent decisions on spying on its citizens?

It is so much simpler to solve problems for someone else, then to solve your own problems.

Words of Encouragement

The world we live in today is a discouraging place and many of our problems are global. Our world is a result of us having way too much power long before we had gained the maturity and self knowledge to use our resources responsibly. Things can not expand indefinitely. Even if we reached a solution to our energy needs, we would use more. And we are all part of the problem by just living in this society.

At the same time, we have big problems with religion and self control as well. Americans are turned on each other, both having some wisdom and nuttiness on both sides. Unfortunately we cannot agree to disagree. And our differences with some of the more religious parts of the world we are renewing a conflict of more than a millennia and the other side is shocked at why the other parts of the world want to wage war against us. In many ways, life is so good to us here that we actually fear death as a society, but we are less happy than those with much less money and power.

Our understanding of each other is poor, but our understanding of ourselves is worse. We even have it documented now that there are groups in the world trying to increase our conflict. The interesting thing is that the division was created within and only enhanced due to outside involvement. This is very much how evil forces manipulate us is to find our biggest problems and magnify them as we make bad choices.

In my life, I am trying to get closer to God but for some reason I still seem to see spending time with God a chore rather than a joy to look forward to. Some of the ideas talked about in the sermons some of the greatest pastors of our time give are spot on but maybe long beyond our reach. Just like the media who has to make the news interesting each week, I think some pastors feel a need to challenge their members way beyond where they are at with their spiritual life.

There are a lot of positive things going on in the world today and my life. There have been a number of decades long conflicts that have been peacefully resolved in the last few years. There has actually been a drop in global violence lately. Americans are afraid of the Chinese, Russians, and ISIS but most of their power over us is fear. You hear about them, on the news so much because they want to be covered.

They are not anywhere near as powerful as they claim. China is not anywhere near as wealthy as us and the Russians have a military that could only fight one small war across the globe. The US was able to wage two giant wars across the edge of the world in some of the most violent places on earth both weather and conflict wise. Also the Russians and Chinese hate each other and have nuclear misses pointed at each other for decades.

The only obstacle the US is facing in the military is to continue to use software in place of people as it gets less and less recruits. It is good people in America do not rush out to join the military in great numbers. They feel they have greater opportunities elsewhere. This automation is not far fetched at all factoring in what the general commercial technology available on the consumer market alone.

The major reason why the military computers look antiquated is because they have to be much more reliable and they are interested in how to do their job best in how they design software. Consumer software has to look pretty but the military has serious things to do. Also, what you see on TV about future weapons of the US military, they are currently being used. The government goes to great lengths to hid its exact capabilities.

Some of the best security experts in the world and looked at the virus sent by the US and Israel against Iran nuclear efforts and estimated this technology which they allowed the world to see is 20 years ahead of the rest of the worlds technology. It sounds like they can scan software and find any security problems in it just be software based analysis. This would totally change the security of information and computers. They are likely much farther ahead than that but just needed that level of software innovation to solve the immediate problem.

So I have written about 20 collections of about 3 books each totaling at least 1,000-1,500 pages over the last 20 years. I have developed my own unique combination of Christian Existentialism and Philosophical Taoism, talked about my experiences being in the military and being mentally ill for many years, my paradoxical look at biblical theology, world history between ancient and modern times, future trends including disaster survival and global warming, and technology books about general computing, web design, and tech people sociology.

I have found a way to be happy and feel I am changing the world that anyone can follow and is not risky in any way, not costly or complicated, and is more effective than anything else you can do. Before you try to change the world, try changing yourself. You might find you can do both at the same time.

Jesus said that people need physical healing but a more important need we have is the forgiveness of sins. The small decisions no one else sees are usually more important. The spiritual world is much bigger and more important than the physical world but operates on different laws just like comparing economics to psychology, even though they are tightly related.

Faith is the key to understanding spiritual things and forgiveness is the key to understanding God.

On Buying a Printer

How does a person create
Without fear of loss
How does a person lose their creation
Without losing their heart
Each page I write
Each design I code
Every step and everyday
I must fight my own mistakes
And make a thousand copies
It is great to send things around the world
Instantly sending out the latest updates
Within a few seconds
What is not so great is someway finding
Someone locked you out of your own creations
Sometimes a tool that has less capabilities
Is a blessing
And sometimes the instantaneousness
can feed an addiction
Is is better having been seen less
Across the world
Or risk the loss of a lifetime of work
Sometimes the most profound choice
Is to do nothing or simply wait
Maybe there is just too much to do
And maybe I am just too tired
I want to help others
But maybe I could do something
That requires less housework
Maybe I could be creative
Without piling up a stack of work
Maybe I will just buy a printer
While they still make them

Steps from Sin to Repentance


  1. Darkness
  2. Law
  3. Desire
  4. Temptation
  5. Eyes
  6. Heart
  7. Tongue
  8. Pride
  9. Hypocrisy
  10. Idolatry
  11. Lying
  12. Evil
  13. Blood
  14. Judgment


  1. Belief
  2. Seek
  3. Prayer
  4. Shame
  5. Meekness
  6. Mercy
  7. Sacrifice
  8. Deliverance
  9. Salvation
  10. Clean
  11. Thanksgiving


  1. Truth
  2. Wisdom
  3. Faithfulness
  4. Blessing
  5. Peace
  6. Trust
  7. Strength
  8. Understanding
  9. Help
  10. Poor
  11. Needy
  12. Light

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